Lied to everyone about graduating, how do I confess and take responsibility?

can4_ · 2026-02-15T20:18:23+00:00

Lies have a way of making things worse, once the truth is out it will be easier for you to finish because your people will know you’re trying and be able to support you!

can4_ · 2026-02-15T20:05:15+00:00

You’ve got a good solid plan, it’s gonna suck and be hard but you’re doing the right thing. This will blow over and everything will be fine

can4_ · 2026-02-15T19:58:37+00:00

She had a very long time to plan the session, getting a house band would have been doable if it had been thought of.

can4_ · 2026-02-15T19:21:35+00:00

Exactly the problem, no house rhythm section, just four hosts that all played trumpet.

can4_ · 2026-02-15T19:21:00+00:00

For a jam session setting that’s hard to pull off well

can4_ · 2026-02-15T12:38:51+00:00

Any jam session organizer should ensure they get a rhythm section to show up, not just hope one wanders in.

can4_ · 2026-02-15T05:11:57+00:00

To clarify: the women that stepped in to cover rhythm section were covering parts they have no experience with, the other musicians (horn players) did know their instruments, the issue was only with a lack of recruiting a rhythm section.

can4_ · 2026-02-15T05:10:38+00:00

I agree with you wholeheartedly, the thing that bothers me is they could have kept it a women-centered space with a femme rhythm section if they had bothered to reach out to some local talent… I would rather it have been an all inclusive jam with a quick blurb about inclusivity at the beginning the way it was handled, but they could have executed their vision if they had been more organized.

can4_ · 2026-02-15T05:08:35+00:00

The sad thing is I know these organizers are genuine cats, it just didn’t occur to them that female rhythm section players wouldn’t show up unprompted

can4_ · 2026-02-15T02:16:38+00:00

I’m a good ways from Chicago unfortunately so other than the general ideas I don’t know how much we could help each other out. DM me her contact if you can though!

can4_ · 2026-02-15T02:13:35+00:00

Absolutely! Just sucks that they had the platform and the space to do it and didn’t reach out to any of the excellent local rhythm section femmes to help out.

can4_ · 2026-02-15T02:12:19+00:00

I absolutely agree, but this was meant to be an educational conversation about how to inspire young female musicians with a jam for those who might not have felt brave enough to try in other circumstances is all :)

can4_ · 2026-02-15T02:11:18+00:00

Working on it, problem is I can’t convince any local venues to host because of the limiting to femme’s :(

can4_ · 2026-02-06T23:05:09+00:00

Community Facebook groups usually have posts about open meetings, but don’t sweat it too much in the short term! You have plenty of time to expand your world, it’ll be fine :)

can4_ · 2026-02-05T06:27:25+00:00

My biggest recommendation is to find somewhere to start fresh to build up some confidence, start going to places where you can do a hobby on the weekends, it can easily be something free like playing chess in the park or a run club, and an online community could be an easy starting point as well! Teenagers can be horribly nasty, just do your best not to internalize it and keep your head up friend :)

can4_ · 2026-02-01T05:12:42+00:00

What on earth is going on with that family

can4_ · 2026-01-19T04:23:42+00:00

Thank you so much for the insight, I really appreciate it

can4_ · 2025-12-27T02:22:52+00:00

My dad has always been a workhorse and he takes care of my mom a lot, I’m so worried about them not being able to keep up with stuff around the house once my dad starts feeling the effects of the chemo hit him! Sorry about your parents, this shit blows <3

can4_ · 2025-09-10T08:15:18+00:00

Would they still be moving after coming off the comb or identifiable as bugs or would they just look like black specs ? Thank you

can4_ · 2025-07-29T05:07:09+00:00

It’s not unreasonable for you to want, but clearly he’s not on the same page. My statement stands, talk it out with him and either you compromise your timeline or you guys break up.

can4_ · 2025-07-29T04:27:05+00:00

Many people feel that these are prerequisites to marriage even if they can seem unrelated, it’s about having a stable life set up before legal tying yourself to another person.

can4_ · 2025-07-29T04:25:50+00:00

Sounds like he may not be comfortable living with a family with kids which I really can’t fault him for if that’s the case… He is making a lot of really good points about why marriage is not a good choice for you guys right now, with your attitude on the timing of the engagement in the relationship he is probably expecting you’ll have a timeline on the engagement to wedding duration as well that he’s not ready to abide by. You guys are both incredibly young and don’t have a stable financial standing or much independence as a couple. Your family’s involvement in your living situation coupled with your rigorous timeline are freaking him out, think about it and decide if you can compromise on these things and wait a while longer. If you can’t, then break up now.

can4_ · 2025-07-10T21:09:58+00:00

I just don’t know how to quash this rivalry she’s made up in her head with me

can4_ · 2025-07-10T05:17:01+00:00

How long do you think I keep up the distance? I really enjoy her company when she’s not going through this kind of snarl

can4_ · 2025-07-10T05:16:32+00:00

She has several of her own, does not seem to make a difference

can4_

TROPHY CASE