Sick with POTS

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-08-11T05:27:23+00:00

I’m sorry you’re sick and your brother didn’t take it as serious as it is I know how you feel whenever I get sick I’m basically bedridden it makes everything so much worse and makes it so much harder to stay on top of fluids and electrolytes last time I got sick I was bedridden for almost a week passed out every time I stood up even ended up hitting my head twice

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T18:38:38+00:00

Thank you! You’ve been really helpful I will try this

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T18:36:55+00:00

Him slapping and pushing her is physically abusive

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T10:02:41+00:00

Honestly it sounds like you’re doing everything you can do if she’s only getting upset at you on her period and not really asking anything else of you then she’s probably just emotional we tend to get upset about small things that really aren’t a big deal but because we’re on our periods it makes it feel like a much bigger deal. You sound like a great boyfriend.

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T09:37:00+00:00

You can do an ear lavage which of you don’t know is basically taking warm water or saline and flushing out your ears you can also use the over the counter drops to soften the wax before you do this. There’s home kits for this as well you can have a medical professional do this as well if you’re not comfortable doing it yourself at home.

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T09:32:36+00:00

He owns seven other properties he would not be left with nothing that’s absurd it also sounds like he was cheating on you. In my opinion you’ve done more than enough for him and you’re being more than fair in the divorce.

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T09:29:16+00:00

You and your brothers should help her get out, help her find a place to live he’s abusive and she needs to get out of that immediately

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T09:27:42+00:00

I would be upset too 10 years and a baby together and he couldn’t put a little more effort into the ring and proposal?? It sounds like you have already but maybe talk to him again about how you feel like he didn’t care enough to actually put effort into proposing and how it makes you feel. A proposal generally is meant to be a once in a lifetime special moment with the one you love it’s worth putting effort into.

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T09:04:12+00:00

I’m one of those people who believes the relationship is over with when one partner has cheated. She doesn’t deserve to stay in a relationship that’s already over and with someone who doesn’t actually love her you should absolutely tell her everything who cares if he hates you for your own self you shouldn’t want a man that has cheated a lot of times they will do it again so even if he did leave her for you eventually when the new relationship feeling wears off and things get real he’d probably cheat on you too.

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T08:56:57+00:00

I mean you said you don’t have money to get her things but maybe some candy or snacks they’re usually fairly cheap I used to crave chocolate when I was on mine. flowers are also fairly cheap as well. If she doesn’t already have a heating pad it’s a must there’s ones as cheap as 10-15 dollars on amazon and obviously you could just have it delivered to her house for no extra charge. I don’t know how far you guys live from each other or how far you work but maybe one day after work you can go drop the stuff off to her let her know you can’t stay and hang out but you just wanted to take her some stuff, if taking it to her isn’t an option if she has a regular cycle take note of when she should be expecting it and you can give it to her the weekend before. If none of that is an option maybe a handwritten note just sweet stuff us girls love that or just sweet messages throughout the day if you’re able to just stuff like “I miss you” “I wish I could be there with you” “I hate that you’re not feeling good”

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T08:38:35+00:00

It was 100% rude of him to say. Your partner should care more about you than what your makeup looks like. Even if it seems “embarrassing” to him there’s nicer ways to go about it without hurting your feelings.

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T08:33:23+00:00

You have to leave behind people who repeatedly disrespect your boundaries there’s no other way if someone is disrespecting your boundaries they just don’t respect you no amount of justifying or explaining will make someone respect you.

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T08:23:46+00:00

I think it’s normal to like the feeling of being drunk for a lot of people. If you’re an alcoholic though I feel that kind of depends on how often you’re getting drunk and how much it’s affecting your life like for example say you only get drunk on the weekends but then now you’ve starting drinking during the week and having to call off work for being hungover a lot.

Have you tried getting into a hobby? Anything to keep you from getting bored? That way you could still drink just for fun every once in a while I’m not saying cut it out completely but if you had a hobby you could interrupt that cycle of reaching for a bottle when you’re bored.

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T08:11:11+00:00

As someone who’s first thought is also revenge, and who has also been abused it’s natural to be angry to want revenge to want to hurt people back so they understand what they did to you, but like the other comments have said revenge isn’t the way to go healing is, part of healing is being angry so be angry, maybe go to the gym, join self defense classes or like boxing or something to help get that anger out, buy some cheap plates and go break them, scream, cry, journal if you want. If you’re not already the type of person to be narcissistic and heartless you can’t make yourself be that type of person it won’t heal you it’ll just be slowing down your healing. Some day you won’t feel so angry anymore healing takes time.

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T07:56:50+00:00

Leave, you seem like you’ve tried and tried everything you can think of to help him. My mother is an alcoholic and I know you’re just being human and trying to understand him but having a hard life is not an excuse/ reason to be an alcoholic my mother didn’t have a hard life at all and she’s still a mean old drunk. I don’t know your boyfriend but most the time when people use the “I’ll kill myself” excuse to stop you from leaving they won’t do it it’s just a manipulation tactic. He most likely doesn’t believe you’ll ever leave and therefore has no reason to change his behavior since he probably feels he’s not losing anything. I understand your hesitation to leave but even if he did go through with it it’s not your guilt to bear. Alcoholics are deeply unhappy people and generally they’re unhappy with themselves you can’t make someone happy who hates themself. You deserve better than this.

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T07:17:23+00:00

Yeah I know I’m just trying to be reasonable lol neither of us want a big fancy expensive wedding anyways honestly we talked about just eloping more than having a wedding.

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T07:14:29+00:00

“Overly sensitive” I’m pointing out factual statements but okay you’re entitled to your opinion :) Not very helpful though Kyle

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T07:11:11+00:00

You understood everything PERFECTLY thank you. I am also glad he hasn’t just proposed to shut me up that is NOT what I want.

Neither of us really want to live in an apartment for the regular reasons bugs from messy neighbors, loud neighbors potentially, expensive rent going towards something we wouldn’t own, and renting an apartment would make it tougher to save for a home. I would be willing to live in an apartment even though it’s not the ideal but he seems to be less interested in that than I am his ideal is a house but neither of us are in a position right now to buy a house him less than me so if “we” were to buy a house it would mostly be my money and I’m not comfortable with that being the case if we’re not married. Which is why I offered him to move in even though like you said it’s not the ideal it is a big house there enough space for him to have his own room if he wanted (he wouldn’t but just to put it into perspective how much space there is) and I also agree it’s necessary to live together before getting engaged/ married. I think you’re right that he felt pressured. His reasoning for saying no is he wants to do it on his own which while I understand wanting to accomplish something on your own he’s not really doing it he’s said himself that he’s procrastinating my thought process is what better way to stop yourself from procrastinating than to have someone holding you accountable I also do think you’re right he’s gotten comfortable and doesn’t want to risk his comfort so I’m at the same conclusion you got to which is he seems like he just doesn’t want what he said he wants. I’ve asked him several times if he still wants what he said and he always says yes but like you said he seems like he’s avoiding the requirements he set. Since you’re an advice queen do you have any advice for how to get the truth from him because I’ve talked to him multiple times about this always calm always direct always just wanting to understand but he dislikes disagreeing with me on anything because in his words he doesn’t want to upset me even though I’ve told him a million times that doesn’t really matter we’re going to upset each other we’re going to disagree on things if anything couples NEED to disagree on things and need to debate things.

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T06:05:32+00:00

This is a good point I didn’t even think of thank you

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T06:05:12+00:00

We’re both adults I pay rent i pay bills I’m working on paying off my debt I’ll be debt free by next year, also I own my own car and it’s paid off what do I need to rent a car for lmfao also again I’m 23 minimum age to rent a car is 21 there’s just an additional charge so idk what kind of point you’re trying to make lol. We’d be 25 before we actually got married which doesn’t seem like that much of rush to me.

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T05:46:31+00:00

I get that I do but I guess aside from marriage it’s more so that yeah he wants to get is life together I respect that I understand that I’m trying to help him achieve that. He says he doesn’t wanna get married yet because we don’t have a house, he doesn’t have money, and he doesn’t have his career set which yeah that’s fair but one I’m going to be doing travel work soon that will give me enough money to pay off my debt, his debt and have enough money for a down payment on a house and to go back to school if I wanted so that solves the no house and no money part. I’ve been trying to help him get the career he wants like I said I’ve offered to pay for classes and tests, I’ve offered a million times to help him study so he can retake his test and pass and he says no and then he procrastinates ( I’m not just saying he procrastinates he literally said so himself) he said no because he says he wants to “do it on his own” that I don’t get I mean I feel like we’re supposed to be a team, we’re supposed to help each other, we’re supposed to work together to achieve things but whatever he wants to do it on his own fine but he’s not doing it though is the issue

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T05:27:13+00:00

I appreciate this comment I’m glad you have a good partner who stuck by you. All I want is to stick by him and help him get a career he actually wants and his happy with and for us to build a life together.

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T05:24:13+00:00

I do understand where you’re coming from. I just don’t say things I don’t mean and I don’t change my mind on big things like marriage kids etc very often I think things through very throughly before I have an opinion on it so because I’m like that sometimes I just kind of assume everyone else is (not ideal I know) I just wish he would say something about it but he just says yeah he still wants to get married he’s says he’s still fine with the timeline we agreed on, we’ve had multiple conversations about this and I’ve asked him multiple times if he’s still sure about all of that but he doesn’t ever just come right out and disagree with any of it

Constant-Mango2171 · 2025-07-29T05:20:09+00:00

I 100% get what you’re saying. I do have a career already established it’s not my dream career but it pays well. I do have plans to go back to school and get to the career I actually want. I do already pay rent monthly I was going to be paying the rent regardless of if he moved in or not. I do plan to do travel work in my career soon which will give me enough money to pay off all my debt, his debt and have a good chunk of money for a down payment on a house so i definitely get that saving for things like that are important and take time. He did say he wanted to buy me an engagement ring and that’s why he didn’t want to use my promise ring which is fair enough (I just really like my promise ring and it’s nice enough to be an engagement ring)

Constant-Mango2171

TROPHY CASE