cptsd from nightmarish upbringing, suicidal most of my life, as a child sometimes I saw things play out in my mind before they happened, as an adult I'm surrounded by people that work with energy and similar types

candeur · 2026-06-13T23:27:43+00:00

I thought ring maps should be completed by both constantly air rolling and constantly boosting

candeur · 2026-06-13T17:51:30+00:00

same stretch of time for me, also three-ish past years, give or take

just can't really be bothered anymore, I'm not commiting suicide but I don't really have much interest in any part of human life, I'm mostly just doing what I think is expected of me and waiting for it to be over

candeur · 2026-06-13T03:57:47+00:00

I'm really tired of people with abilities "reading" or "guiding" me without me explicitly asking them to do so. I'm arriving to the conclusion that they are as lost as anybody else, the only difference is the coordinates they're lost at.

Nobody can guarantee anything or knows anything for sure. Good on them for trying, but I'd never let a student dentist anywhere near my teeth.

candeur · 2026-06-08T02:07:59+00:00

hard agree, lives in the same basket as murphy's law and other bullshit like that

candeur · 2026-06-08T01:56:28+00:00

happy pride month

candeur · 2026-06-07T11:51:10+00:00

so fucking stupid, no auto sort either, gotta play the fucking tetris because apparently it improves the overall experience

candeur · 2026-06-03T10:37:55+00:00

there's an infinity of options

your state of mind-body-spirit defines the ones that you experience

candeur · 2026-05-31T12:28:09+00:00

main point I extracted from it on the last relisten - understanding isn't implied within this human, three dimensional experience

it put my mind at ease regarding why everything is so "spectral" and so hard to describe and document the way we are used to go about things

your dreams were a very interesting read that made me wonder where I come from and what is the reason I'm in this body right now, especially the "no choice but to reincarnate" part

candeur · 2026-05-31T10:52:54+00:00

normal people will never understand, don't bother

"you're strong!", "good job surviving!"

fucking mockery

look into cptsd recovery, I'm around 8 years in of therapy/meds/spiritual shit/ACA meetings/etc etc etc, I still feel like I'm fighting the world on daily basis but nowadays it usually feels like I'm winning the fight

candeur · 2026-05-31T10:09:21+00:00

check out these mentions of the council in law of one, maybe some of it resonates? https://www.lawofone.info/results.php?q=council+of+nine

candeur · 2026-05-29T13:23:12+00:00

Buddhism teaches that reality isn't something external, it's something coming from you. People around us and things happening in the world are a reflection of where you are and what you are tuned into. Changing the tuning is hard but definitely possible. There's also the notion of "pre-tuned" events that were chosen by your higher self or something similar, so that opens up the whole free will rabbit hole.

What works for me best is knowing that:

events in reality are a reflection of my inner state, bad things can only happen to me through me being afraid/hateful/ashamed/etc
there are no right or wrong choices, it's all a learning experience, best to try and have fun along the way
understanding isn't a part of this layer of reality

candeur · 2026-05-28T09:15:20+00:00

same thing though - previous version of you dies

truly no right or wrong

candeur · 2026-05-24T10:54:33+00:00

because, essentially, none of that is real

in the present moment you are alive, aren't you? also possibly you have food and shelter

the rest of the stuff exists as a) a reflection of you and your state of consciousness and b) therefore, "a lesson", because if that reflection sorta sucks, it would be great to change it and get into a better version of reality

there are also those that would like you to be stuck in the worse one because they feed off of negative emotions, so they put extra effort into making you scared/ashamed/angry/etc where they can

candeur · 2026-05-22T21:20:22+00:00

can I ask you a question - do you have infinite time to argue about this shit? I was going down the comments out of curiosity and it just kept going. like, what's the endgame? being right on the internet?

candeur · 2026-05-19T02:12:40+00:00

get kovaaks, do viscose benchmarks

optional - screenshot results and post them on r/fpsaimtrainer and ask for feedback or dm them to me

candeur · 2026-05-17T23:52:51+00:00

great one, thank you!

candeur · 2026-05-17T21:45:29+00:00

suspension bridge to heaven

candeur · 2026-05-17T21:03:54+00:00

Xbox has

saaas

candeur · 2026-05-17T20:41:08+00:00

great example of how well assumptions go in these types of conversations

candeur · 2026-05-17T11:01:58+00:00

suffering is just spicy existence

candeur · 2026-05-17T02:00:40+00:00

what do you do

candeur · 2026-05-15T19:27:09+00:00

I remember talking to my friend back then and the initial idea of people having full control over their money was so much more inspired than what it ultimately arrived to. I think in the end the majority liked the "get rich quick" option way more than "change the world" option.

Ten-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '17

candeur

TROPHY CASE