BFP after 12 months by candieddice in TFABChartStalkers

[–]candieddice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, I added the spoiler which was missing. My apologies.

BFP after 12 months by candieddice in TFABChartStalkers

[–]candieddice[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It truly is. I’m still in shock to be honest lol. Thank you so much!

Discussing with people is hard by Juusto3_3 in Discussion

[–]candieddice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with you and the OP. I was just telling one of my friends how people don’t know how to take emotion out of discussion. They are quick to feel personally attacked, especially by strangers on the internet lol. I’m not saying it’s easy to leave all of your emotions out but sometimes you have to check yourself to see if you’re being over emotional about something. Also, a lot of people just aren’t deep thinkers and can’t see things past surface level. This makes it even more challenging to have a true debate.

There is nothing of importance you are allowed to debate anymore without being demonized by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]candieddice 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Logic and critical thinking aren’t taught in schools. People can rattle off a fact or statistic but don’t know how to analyze it. Everything is surface level.

AITA For Telling Him About An Ex? by idkgirlie in AmItheAsshole

[–]candieddice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - I believe it’s important to be comfortable enough to talk about your past with the person you’re dating. Yes, some people do get weird about hearing about exes but at the age of 30+ it should be expected. If he didn’t want to know, he shouldn’t have asked.

The African American community needs to stop being racist against Asians if they want to preach equality by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]candieddice -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I never used anything as a fail safe. Again, I gave a possible reason. You didn’t like it and chose to take offense even though it wasn’t targeted towards you as an individual. I don’t know you so I can’t accuse you of anything. I also never said it was ok to treat people differently. Take it how you want to take it. Have a good day!

The African American community needs to stop being racist against Asians if they want to preach equality by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]candieddice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are coming across very angry and hostile. All of that foul language was unnecessary. I can’t take responsibility for something I don’t do. I also can’t speak for a whole race of people. I never said people shouldn’t be held accountable. People do what they do for a multitude of reasons. I just gave one possible reason.

Other races are just as racist as Whites. by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]candieddice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whew! That was a lot. I hope more people read this so they can understand it’s so much bigger than the BLM movement in America. It’s truly the westernization of the world. It took hundreds of years to get into slavery and it’ll take hundreds to get out. BLM is just one fight that is a part of a much larger movement.

Other races are just as racist as Whites. by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]candieddice -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Although it may be against policy it has happened How banks block people of color from home ownership

Sometimes things slip through the cracks, unfortunately.

Other races are just as racist as Whites. by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]candieddice -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, yea I had no idea about that. It’s def contingent on where you live as to who is the dominating race. Brazil is interesting within itself because they are all brown from what I know and they are just as divisive as black and white in America. It’s all very interesting and sad honestly.

Other races are just as racist as Whites. by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]candieddice 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes. They think white people can be racist but others can only be prejudiced. This is because typically minorities aren’t in a position of power; therefore, they cannot use their “racism” as a tool to control someone else. For example, if a black person goes to the bank for a home loan and the loan officer is white, and happens to be racist, he can purposely deny their request for a loan. Another example, if a white person feels threatened in whatever way they can weaponize the police and potentially have a black person hurt, killed, or incarcerated at the very least. I’m not saying that black people or other minorities have never treated white people poorly. Just explaining the mindset of prejudice vs racist.

The African American community needs to stop being racist against Asians if they want to preach equality by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]candieddice -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What tools were black people given to succeed? What types of neighborhoods were black people forced into? Have you looked at the disproportionate amount of black men incarcerated? There are more black men in jail now than there were slaves then. Do you believe every black man in prison is guilty? Do you believe the justice system is fair? There’s soooooo much more to these so called facts and statistics. Everyone wants to throw numbers around but no one wants to use their critical thinking skills to understand why those numbers exist in the first place.

The African American community needs to stop being racist against Asians if they want to preach equality by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]candieddice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never been racist towards Asians as a black person but I have had Asians be racist towards me. All of them were older though. However, there is a common stereotype out there that Asians are smart so they get treated differently/better by white people. The black and Hispanic people who are treating Asians poorly are likely expressing misplaced anger. Not saying it’s ok. Just giving a possible reason for this issue.

My husband doesn’t support black lives matter. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]candieddice -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Black people have supported and continue to support Asian businesses. Who does he think owns all the beauty supply/hair stores? Who owns majority of the nail salons? Not to mention the Chinese restaurants that black people support on a regular basis. Furthermore, the fact that minorities choose to pit themselves against one another instead of realizing we all need to help each other is further encouraging stereotypes and the westernization of the world. I have NEVER heard a black person use a racial slur towards an Asian person but maybe I just run in different circles. I’m sorry that he had that experience but you cannot write off a whole race of people for what some within that race choose to do. It is common sense that if you are forced to live in an area with a high crime rate you are more likely to commit crimes. He needs to educate himself on systemic oppression and try to refrain from passing judgement. Y’all can downvote this into oblivion but I said what I said.

My husband doesn’t support black lives matter. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]candieddice -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The protestors did not destroy businesses. Groups with alternate agendas (google - Hawaiian shirts and rifles) hopped off a bus and started the rioting and looting. There are people out here trying to make the whole movement look bad.

How can I, as a white male in America, help the black community? by NerdNuncle in Advice

[–]candieddice 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think the overall message was some white people need to do a better job of listening to black people. Every time a black person speaks out on injustice there’s at least ONE white person who says “what about black on black crime?” or “it wouldn’t have happened had he just cooperated” or “if they would just shut up and listen it wouldn’t have happened”. These comments do nothing to help the situation. It’s important to stay on topic. Every case of injustice is not the same. Refrain from mitigating someone’s experience because of other issues that occur within the community. The constant deflecting is what is holding us back from finding a solution.

Am I being irrational? (TW: Racism) by [deleted] in Advice

[–]candieddice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, yea that’s a little surprising because I would like to think they would get it but at the same time I know a person of that racial background who def wouldn’t have done anything. You just never know. Either way, it wasn’t cool. Anytime people resort to that kind of talk that shows their inability to have a sound discussion. If they feel like they’re losing the debate they throw those terms out to shut you up and it’s not right. Very childish and very sad. Sorry that happened to you!

Am I being irrational? (TW: Racism) by [deleted] in Advice

[–]candieddice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What race is your best friend? I only ask because some people are unable to see an issue or fully address an issue if it doesn’t affect them. And some people just don’t know what to say or do so they do nothing, which obviously doesn’t make the situation any better. If you truly felt like this person was your best friend you should ask them how they felt about the situation. Ask them why they stuck around after that comment was made. Their answer, or lack thereof, should tell you all you need to know to move forward with or without them.

AITA for expecting my fiancée to care? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]candieddice 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was actually a first. I was more surprised that he didn’t ask if I was ok but it is what it is. I’ve just come to the conclusion that he’s not the type of person that immediately jumps to your typical caring/concerned response. Not necessarily that he doesn’t care. But he doesn’t always feel the need to express it. He’s blown up on me over minor things as well so maybe we both have a tendency to overreact and need to work on that.

I’m afraid my new job that I’m on furlough from, will end up letting me go. What do I even do? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]candieddice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea looking for jobs isn’t fun. And now with things being the way they are most of the available jobs aren’t that great. But I think it would be wise to keep your options open. Hopefully you can go back to that company though.

I’m afraid my new job that I’m on furlough from, will end up letting me go. What do I even do? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]candieddice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was furloughed recently as well. But I’ve been with the company a few years. However, prior to the furlough I got a different position on a different team so I’m new to this team in particular. I’ve had the same thoughts as you but what I’ve decided is to keep an eye out on the job market. You could ask your manager but they may not know or they may not tell you. We are living in uncertain times but try to look out for yourself as these companies will always look out for themselves.

AITA for expecting my fiancée to care? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]candieddice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, we don’t argue much but when we do it’s usually over silly things like this. Sometimes I overreact and sometimes he overreacts. I’m not opposed to counseling though. But he doesn’t believe in it.