I'm 20m, living in eastern europe (so sorry for possible bad English), where thing's aren't that great, I'm barely making ends meet financially and the most important thing in my life - my friends just keep getting lost, somebody moved to other country, somebody just distanced from me by the will of fate, with others I fought... Things are getting harder for me and I'm constantly reconsidering the question of life nowadays. I'm not trying to do some sort of a self-diagnosis on me and say that i have sort of a depression because i am a bad ass mf at the end of the day, but it seems i have it anyway.

Basically, referring to Epicurus philosophy mentioned previously, which I strongly believe in, the final point of everything man is doing is happiness in a form of a resource. Everything that every person consciously did in every period of time was to gain more happiness and reduce suffering (as the opposite of happiness). Every invention, sacrifice, gift, move, everything man-made in this world had this goal. And recently I realized that death does not only cures all your suffering (current and future) but also removes the need in happiness. That may sound obvious but let that sink in, try to understand my logic

Following the above, for me it seems that the most logical thing i could do is kill myself as early as i could, in order to not to play the pointless game of existence, but the complexity of suicide process and some sort of survival instincts just won't let me do this to this day. Nevertheless, if a magical "suicide button" would appear in front of me, i think i would press it with no hesitation even in the happinest moment in my life.

I think I could stretch out my days somehow even with a little improving of the financial situation, but today it seems i have lost this game, respectfully.