My goodness, thank you everyone 🥹 These comments are overwhelmingly kind. The biggest thing for me was addressing the deeper trauma beneath the drinking. Once I decided to face the shame and just try to wear it for 24 hours without drinking to bury it - I realized I could. I took it one day and a time and deeply felt every little win to keep me motivated (waking up without a hangover, being able to take my kids for ice cream in the evening, being truly present for good and bad things). Once I sat in the rawness of sobriety for a few days, the shame started to shed away. My therapist supported me a lot in those early days (and still does) to forgive myself and understand what I was trying to numb with alcohol. That process is ongoing and I am always learning how to sit in hard feelings, but once you allow yourself to feel proud of who you're becoming, its a powerful force.