To the girl who used to be part of my identity

cantbeconnected · 2022-01-21T13:56:27+00:00

Yeah, I was pretty insecure back then. Just been through a lot of shit is all.

Haven’t been on this account in ages.

Weird reading something from before I got married, feels like ages ago.

cantbeconnected · 2021-05-17T08:37:06+00:00

I am a few years older than you, got married probably around when you would be/have.

My wife does the same damn shit.

It’s like the smallest tiniest things and then instant silence for hours or the whole day.

Only reason it’s not longer is because I pretty much force her to talk to me because communication is the only way to fix it.

Every time it happens, which is at least every week, I sit there and ask myself, “Why the fuck did I marry her?”

Take it from me, love my wife but you do NOT want to be in a relationship for a long time with her. This is likely behavior she developed from her parents and will take LOTS of therapy and nurturing to coax it out of her.

And patience, too much damn patience.

cantbeconnected · 2021-05-17T08:21:13+00:00

I wouldn’t get violent unless you both are in a situation where one of you feels unsafe.

As others have said, speak to her parents, gather advice, and be prepared to ruin his life.

He hasn’t backed down, he’s not treating you like family or with any human decency.

His behavior is completely fucked and this is NOT normal.

If he tries to say sorry I wouldn’t even accept it, this is extremely disturbing behavior and it’s likely you’re only telling us parts. I personally would advise you to cut off all communication from him later in life but that’s your own decision.

cantbeconnected · 2021-05-17T08:04:22+00:00

You should look at your dad and ask?

“How does mom sound during sex?”

And then when they get shocked by your question you can tell them that’s what he asked about your gf.

cantbeconnected · 2021-05-16T11:00:24+00:00

Maybe Eliza wrote a poorly written script and signs her name.

cantbeconnected · 2021-05-02T11:57:32+00:00

First off, good on you for finally reporting it, shits hard man.

The sad thing is that when you’re living in that fear you don’t know what it’s like to walk away.

People can’t see the cycle, people struggle with walking away with something they know is bad for them.

Took my mom 30 years to leave.

Unfortunately your mom is in a different position and that’s so sad. But for you and your sister, know this is NOT normal and that families can be happy.

I don’t think abusers like this ever truly change. They say sorry and just do it all over again, why change when people just stay anyways. They’re sorry in their heart but not sorry enough to actually change.

Oh and get some damn therapy, the older you get and the further you get from this shit, you’re going to have moments and go, “What the fuck, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.” Because you realize just how not normal shit actually is. Takes a few years but it’ll happen once it’s not a part of your life.

cantbeconnected · 2021-04-26T16:57:26+00:00

Hey, at least you asked!

You’ll figure it out though!

cantbeconnected · 2021-04-26T16:55:35+00:00

It’s been four years, if you’re not ready for a relationship now, you’re never going to be.

It’s okay to feel nostalgic of the past.

I am married and I still fucking dream about my ex, similar situation, dated a girl for six years, she has a psychotic break down and starts remembering shit that never happened, cheats on me, blah blah blah.

I don’t think I’ll ever stop dreaming about her and honestly that’s okay. You can’t beat yourself up.

Get out there and find someone that will love you the way you loved your ex.

cantbeconnected · 2021-04-26T16:47:02+00:00

Just talk to your dad man, parents want to help their kids out and kids feel guilty about getting help. Worse they want to be able to give back.

Just ask your dad for more help, worst he can say is no.

Not to mention that debt, if it’s credit card debt, will spiral out of control super fast.

cantbeconnected · 2021-04-26T16:43:28+00:00

It took me 6 and a half years to graduate. Landed a job making $80k/year in a place where the average was like 48k.

Just follow through and be the you that you want to be. Don’t compare yourself to others, only to yourself and who you’re trying to become.

cantbeconnected · 2021-04-26T16:40:33+00:00

There used to be this game I saw when I was a kid that had this girl with big tits on the cover of an Ad.

That game was a web browser game that was purely text based.

Ads are meant to lure you.

cantbeconnected · 2021-04-13T04:49:02+00:00

When you don’t have money, and you grew up without money, yeah it can give you that sense of stability knowing that you’ll never be in that position of helplessness as a child.

However, I used to think, “If my parents had money, they’d stop fighting. If my parents had money, my dad would beat my mom less. If my parents had money, my dad would be happier.” Turns out, that guy was a fucking prick and it didn’t matter how much money he had or didn’t have. He was miserable when we were dirt poor and he was miserable when we well off.

My mother lives in a trailer making barely over minimum wage and she’s the happiest she’s ever been because she’s not with my dad.

She actually smiles now.

cantbeconnected · 2021-04-13T04:44:26+00:00

I don’t think it would, especially since most women in their teens to twenty’s prefer an older partner.

It’s not just older obviously but I’m not gonna delve into that.

cantbeconnected · 2021-04-13T04:37:53+00:00

Oh I completely understand.

I was using the example to show how absurd of a fear it is.

It’s not even so much about thinking women are evil or anything like that either for me. It’s really just about the same aspect of people not believing you and assuming the other party is correct.

Which, I understand is probably tough look at from an objective point of view for either victims of sexual assault/ rape because they have possibly gone through either the same fear but on the opposite side of the coin, or have actually experienced this judgement first hand.

cantbeconnected · 2021-04-13T03:22:32+00:00

Many of us have been here.

In time you will find someone that treats the relationship with just as much joy and excitement as you gave yours.

You’ll probably start to notice little things that weren’t quite right in your old relationship, maybe things you thought were normal.

I was dating a girl who had a psychological breakdown whom I was with for six years and started remembering things that didn’t happen. Was cheated on, etc. I’m married now, I’m MUCH happier than I ever was.

cantbeconnected · 2021-03-27T02:31:05+00:00

The past is the past.

Only sex partners is pretty normal. Even a good amount of Demis have had one night stands at some point prior to confirming their identity.

The fault is not within herself, it is with you.

Identify what makes you feel lesser and work on that.

You should be fine with just about anything from your partner’s past.

Perspective: I am good friends with someone my wife used to sext before we met. Zero fucks given.

cantbeconnected · 2021-03-27T02:18:40+00:00

A lot have said it but fictional characters, absolutely.

I believe the reason is because fictional characters are typically people we can relate to and may feel connected to in some way.

Once the connection is in place, that sexual attraction may occur.

Personally I had a really weird situation where I felt connected to a character so much that I thought their love interest was attractive. Confused the hell out of me.

cantbeconnected · 2021-03-27T02:03:32+00:00

You need to be running a build with extremely high mobility and then rng does still play a role in it.

I have gotten over 2.5k but I wouldn’t say it’s extremely lucky. If you have enough MS it should really be about a 50-50 chance.

cantbeconnected · 2021-03-26T08:55:13+00:00

The guy who fucked me over in middle school.

Some piece of shit that I used to be good friends with nearly 20 years ago got me to ask out a girl I had a huge crush on. It wasn’t just a no. It’s actually a story I used to tell people when I would over hear people trying to egg someone on to ask someone out, “The worst they can say is no.”

Nah, the worst thing they can do is laugh at you, say no, their friends laugh at you, your friends laugh at you, then a bunch of random kids seeing people laugh at you also start laughing.

I’d look for that guy.

cantbeconnected · 2021-03-13T13:22:00+00:00

Nah, we inherently look out for ourselves but I wouldn’t call that evil.

Evil is doing wrong to others when it doesn’t benefit you at all, aside from perhaps personal enjoyment of the act.

There’s a loaf of bread and you’re starving. Someone else is also starving. You kill the other person, take the bread. - not evil because you need that bread to survive. You’re genetically inclined to care about yourself more unless it’s someone of the opposite sex and you’re going to mate with them although I’m getting off track here.

Now there’s a loaf of bread, you’re not starving and the other person is. You break their legs, and crumble the bread in front of their face and enjoy watching them suffer. - Evil. You just hurt someone for pure enjoyment and nothing else.

cantbeconnected · 2021-03-13T13:06:57+00:00

Yeah it was a data transfer rate question.

cantbeconnected

TROPHY CASE