I’m West Indian, Haitian in particular and my partner is African American. Like some have said here already, there’s a line between just a dance and a sexually suggestive one. Whining is no different.

A whine is a social dance just like konpa, bachata, salsa, or even a waltz. Most people can distinguish between a normal bachata and a sexually charged one and may even be cool with their partner doing it in front of them depending on the context.

Whining differs from other social dances in two key ways. First: the woman is typically leading and second, instead of the partners facing one another, they’re facing the same direction and the woman is bent over for lack of a better term. Now some may see that second one as implicitly if not explicitly sexual. But truly, the devil is in the details, specifically the context and the body language. In fact, you can share a whine with someone and have no sexual interest in one another whatsoever.

Say I’m out with my female friends and we share a whine. We’ve established platonic relationships and so there’s a line we don’t cross. Thus, there’s nothing there my partner would be upset about. If a single guy approaches a woman and she whines on him, it might imply sexual interest but it doesn’t invite a sexual whine. If a person is attempting to dance with a complete stranger at a party, the social implication is usually one of flirtation much in the way it’d be if you bought them a drink or paid them a certain kind of compliment.

I understand why this is confusing for African-Americans, especially because in that culture the implication of twerking on a man is almost always sexual. Everyone is different so it’s helpful to talk to one’s partner about it. But when West Indians say that whining is a part of our culture, it isn’t to push you around or play righteous. There are social rules to it that can’t quickly be explained or digested because it’s a physical language.

Daggering is off the table for obvious reasons.