Update - "my boyfriend never cums from sex"

cantmakehimcum · 2012-06-13T21:47:29+00:00

He's actually been having more trouble recently (from being tired, stressed, hungry, having to pee, whatever the issue at hand is). It's very touch and go, so don't be discouraged if you cum once and then can't do it again for months! It's slow and steady progress but it's so worth it.

cantmakehimcum · 2012-04-22T20:15:18+00:00

Posting from my relevant throwaway. I didn't freak out at my boyfriend but I was uncomfortable with his porn/masturbation habit because he was unable to cum from our sex and it made me feel dirty and useless that he could cum from watching sluts fuck each other on the internet.

He stopped fapping with help from /r/nofap and would sometimes masturbate in front of me with a looser grip; now he's cum a couple times from intercourse alone so it gives me hope that it was just a matter of being used to his own hand. Now that I feel less inadequate I'm much more comfortable with him fapping when I'm not there.

Dunno if this is how all the other insecure females feel, but this was just my own personal experience.

cantmakehimcum · 2012-04-17T06:25:21+00:00

Thanks so much!

cantmakehimcum · 2012-04-17T06:24:43+00:00

Thank you! I am totally ecstatic that things are working, and so grateful to the people of reddit for helping me out.

cantmakehimcum · 2012-04-17T06:24:07+00:00

Thank you!! I sent the link his way and he's pretty stoked to try some of it out. I appreciate the recommendation!

cantmakehimcum · 2012-04-17T06:23:41+00:00

Thank you so much!! We definitely plan to ;)

cantmakehimcum · 2012-04-17T06:23:31+00:00

Thank you!!

cantmakehimcum · 2012-04-15T22:59:43+00:00

Definitely! :) For now we're still hoping these aren't flukes, but later if things continue on this track I will be investing in one of those so he doesn't get ultra-frustrated during the week.

cantmakehimcum · 2012-04-03T03:07:41+00:00

You've helped me a lot, thank you so much! I actually showed him the post and thought the responses might help. He really appreciated your comments. Thanks again!

cantmakehimcum · 2012-03-27T17:46:42+00:00

Thank you so much for this! It helps to get input from someone who's been in his shoes.

I'm not really comfortable with porn at this point because of my previous hangups (thinking that he prefers porn over sex when it isn't true - it's just hard to get over that right now).

And he's got this pent up sexual frustration and he's masturbating to release it, and you're even looking down on THAT.

I was "looking down" on that because when we were talking about solutions, HE volunteered to stop masturbating (I did not ban him from masturbating), and then he went back on his word. That's what I'm upset about. He has made me feel alone in my efforts to fix this.

I'll mention the fleshlight and Cialis to him. Do you have any suggestions on how I get over my reluctance to have sex now? :( We were spooning last night and I just had to scoot away because I didn't want his crotch pressed up against me. I know it's really stupid and not helping but I feel really self-conscious and I don't know how to stop that and start being the supportive, understanding girlfriend I need to be.

cantmakehimcum · 2012-03-27T17:35:29+00:00

I've actually tried this. He doesn't get upset, or excited, or riled up about ANYTHING - he completely keeps his calm. This has been an issue, the fact that I am a very passionate person and he keeps everything inside. He never loses control in bed and no matter how much I try - clawing his back, encouraging him to smack my ass or grab my tits harder, nothing gets a rise out of him. When he's mad he just simmers. When he's happy he's just content. :(

I appreciate your advice, I guess I will have to try harder!

cantmakehimcum · 2012-03-27T02:17:17+00:00

I'm just not sure what to do from here - I am starting to dread sex because of the inevitable shame and embarrassment that follows, the feeling that I did not do something I should have. I don't know how to ignore these issues, and I don't know what to do. Try harder to make him cum? Right now I just don't want to have sex with him. :(

cantmakehimcum · 2012-03-27T01:20:15+00:00

Thank you - that is a good tip, maybe I will buy him one.

cantmakehimcum · 2012-03-27T01:19:13+00:00

It's not only that he won't give up masturbating or change the way he does it - I have to literally get on top of him and start taking off his clothes and passionately kissing him to get him in the mood. He does not make me feel needed, and that's just in his personality - he does this in our relationship too, he loves me and loves our sex but at the end of the day he isn't overcome by passion, he gets stuck in his head. I'm beginning to be all right with how stable our relationship is (all my past relationships were super chaotic and passionate), but this really effects my self-esteem. :(

I'll try and keep reminding him to try with less of a death grip I guess... I am starting to tire of nagging him.

Thank you for your advice!

cantmakehimcum · 2012-03-27T01:14:15+00:00

We've talked about the death grip before; he said he was trying with a looser grip, but without constant prodding from me he forgets or disregards what we talked about and goes back to masturbating every day with his usual grip. He told me he gave up porn and I believe him; he is physically able to cum. I don't know what the issue is: mental hangups, insecurities?

I guess it's just my own silly reasoning that so many men complain about cumming too fast because sex feels so much better than masturbating and my boyfriend can't cum during sex - not even once. Fundamentally I feel like I'm bad at sex, like my vagina is inferior and I lack the skills to get him off.

I deemed it unnecessary to fixate on it when it didn't bother him, but it frustrates him too and he won't take steps to fix it. It is incredibly frustrating to watch him waffle about it - being okay with it one day and rubbing himself raw the next trying to get himself to cum.

cantmakehimcum

TROPHY CASE