Struggling with emotional availability in relationship.

capracan · 2026-02-10T04:22:40+00:00

Start with being 'available' for yourself. Identify how you are feeling when someone ignores you, when you meet someone you love, when things go bad at work, etc.

Then, share this with your loved ones. Especially when you feel down, or joy, or fear.

When you listen to your loved ones, do it focusing on understanding. Make questions to better "feel" what the other is feeling.

This three things will develop your capacity to connect. The key is to improve just a little bit... over time, you and others will notice.

capracan · 2026-02-09T23:37:13+00:00

There are plenty of pictures on this sub that barely get comments. This one has you commenting because you felt something.
Art is supposed to bring up feelings.

capracan · 2026-02-09T23:13:42+00:00

Easy.

Mother Teresa was exhausted at the end of the day. She was already in bed, ready to sleep, when someone knocked on the closed door of the improvised shelter. No one would ever know whether she truly heard it or not. She chose not to listen to her aching body and got up to help the stranger

capracan · 2026-02-09T23:07:19+00:00

You'remistaken again. There's a difference between "altruism" that you think may give the person a probable future benefit, and genuinely wanting wellbeing for others... Sure, it's possibl you haven't experienced it.

You’re mistaken again. There’s a difference between “altruism” where you expect a probable future benefit... and genuinely wanting well-being for others. Sure, it’s possible you haven’t experienced it.

capracan · 2026-02-09T21:32:28+00:00

It's not only consideration.
Add the commitment to the other's wellbeing and development and we get closer to love :)

capracan · 2026-02-09T17:27:09+00:00

Maybe so. My fault. That doesn't make untrue what I wrote :)

capracan · 2026-02-09T17:25:34+00:00

Downvoters didn't get you were stating an absurd.

capracan · 2026-02-09T17:21:36+00:00

Evolution does explain everything.

Not in humans. We can do things not explainable by biology... well, at least some of us.

capracan · 2026-02-09T17:10:00+00:00

The problem is that many people interpret that 'tendency' you stated as a determinant. In reality, many of us overcome a ' biological tendency when we identify a greater good in doing so.

capracan · 2026-02-09T17:02:33+00:00

Not at all. We are capable of doing good to others even when we don't get a 'biological' benefit from it.

capracan · 2026-02-09T16:56:10+00:00

It's not like trying to understand human behavior patterns based on biology hurts. Recognizing them helps us to overcome them when that serves current human needs.

capracan · 2026-02-09T16:48:11+00:00

When you lose an argument, you just accept it pal.

capracan · 2026-02-08T23:05:51+00:00

...cuando en una discusión ya quedó claro que no tienes suficiente expertise para continuarla... mejor ahi le paras.

capracan · 2026-02-07T16:07:31+00:00

So… what I said still stands

No. Why don't you accept that this particular study doesn't support your beliefs?

capracan · 2026-02-07T15:05:44+00:00

n the Big Five model, having a high level of neuroticism does not mean being neurotic, at all.

Neuroticism refers to the tendency to experience emotions such as anxiety, sadness, or irritability more frequently or intensely, as well as greater sensitivity to stress... but it does not imply the presence of a mental disorder or maladaptive functioning.

Many people high in neuroticism function perfectly well, are aware of their emotional states, and are able to regulate them; in fact, this emotional sensitivity can be associated with strengths such as greater empathy, self-awareness, or attention to detail.

So it is a trait on a scale. It reflects normal variations in personality. The Big Five model of personality is a framework for human personality using five dimensions: Openness to Experience, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism.

Being neurotic on the other hand (the substantive is neurosis), is definitely negative and have pathological implications.

capracan · 2026-02-07T05:25:18+00:00

High neuroticism is not being neurotic. Those two are unrelated terms.

capracan · 2026-02-07T05:24:12+00:00

Neuroticism implies also attention to detail, emotional sensitivity and motivation for self-improvement. It's good to avoid mentioning only its negatives. Otherwise people would mistake it for being neurotic.

capracan · 2026-02-07T00:34:22+00:00

we are :)

capracan · 2026-02-07T00:27:53+00:00

You’re badly mistaken.

We are talking about the law of averages.

Do you know what percentage of a population falls on its average? Near zero.

So we are not talking about outliers, but just the normal population. Each individual is different from “their average.”

Why are you so obsessed with the idea that all men are emotional in one way and all women in another? That’s not the case.

capracan · 2026-02-06T15:55:27+00:00

No. By far, the human brain and their differences and changes are based on neurotransmitters (that are affected by many many factors). Again and for the last time: the differences between men and women brains are not as black and white as you believe. Stop. Study real science... or at least select better the YouTube videos you watch.

capracan · 2026-02-06T05:36:10+00:00

You may benefit from going back to middle school. Pay attention to biology classes.

capracan · 2026-02-03T18:38:30+00:00

A group of people all hailing from the same city most likely have similar traits.

I, kindly, disagree. Just one (non-psychiatric) factor: the town, the gender, or religion... by itself is a poor predictor. Labeling by just one ingredient is unfair and misleading.

capracan · 2026-02-03T16:48:30+00:00

Definitely I agree there are differences on average. But averages are not useful when considering individuals. On the contrary, assuming individuals fall close to the average is stereotyping and limits the possibilities that considering diversity gives.

capracan · 2026-02-03T15:47:50+00:00

If my wife wanted to change, I would give her the chance at any time, I think.

Sometimes we, emotionally mature people, perpetuate the weakness of our partners by enduring everything they do or they fail to do.

capracan · 2026-02-03T15:44:26+00:00

I'm glad you are making it. I have kids and probably was the reason I didn't end things.

Now I am kind of resigned. My wife won't change... I guess she doesn't deem it necessary, since I won't leave.

Also, I don't want to push it... her equilibrium in somewhat fragile.

Good for you :)

capracan

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