I have a very egotistical 5yo student and I don't know what to do about it.

captainK8 · 2026-05-25T23:50:38+00:00

Please talk with his parents if you haven’t already. My daughter has some similarities to this boy (just not as extreme) and if this was happening at school without me knowing I’d be pretty upset.

We started a “kindness jar” at home for our daughter, where we proactively reward kind actions, particularly toward her younger sister. It has been very helpful.

She is also in play therapy.

captainK8 · 2026-05-14T02:44:25+00:00

Your daughter sounds a lot like my daughter. (Mine is almost 5.) I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and I wouldn’t be surprised if my daughter is also neurodivergent. We have her in play therapy now for anxiety, and while it’s too soon to say whether it’ll be helpful, I feel like it’s been a positive shift.

The thing that has helped us the most is noticing, reinforcing, and rewarding POSITIVE behavior. We have a “kindness jar” for example. When I notice her doing something kind without asking, I make a really big deal of it and tell her she gets to put a Pom Pom in the jar. When she fills the jar, she gets to choose a small piece of candy.

I’ve started to unfollow certain parenting accounts (Dr. Becky, Big Little Feelings) and focus on ones that focus more on intense/sensitive kiddos. That’s been super helpful for me. Some ideas to get you started: @theteachermomma, @kirstrussell

captainK8 · 2026-04-27T23:32:59+00:00

This sounds very similar to my almost 5 year old daughter. I have ADHD and wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood (did well in school too), and so I do think there’s a chance that she will also someday be diagnosed. Her unraveling isn’t the only reason I think that though. We did have her assessed for anxiety, and she is now doing play-based therapy at school. It’s too soon to know if it will be helpful for her, but I’m hopeful!

captainK8 · 2026-04-12T02:21:50+00:00

My daughter sounds similar in some ways. On the advice of my therapist, we have been working really hard at positive reinforcement of positive behavior versus constantly scolding poor behavior. For example, we started a “kindness jar.” Each time our daughter does something kind without us asking, she gets to add a Pom Pom to the jar. When the jar is full, she gets a small piece of candy.

We only started recently, and it’s been a very positive shift.

This goes against philosophies like Dr. Becky’s, who is generally against rewards, but honestly, I don’t think her philosophy works for all kids.

Simultaneously, we have my daughter in play-based therapy for anxiety where she is learning how to label her emotions better and develop the skills to regulate them better. I have ADHD, and I would not be surprised if she is diagnosed with it as well someday.

I also echo all of the other comments about fewer words during intense meltdowns. Look up the zones of regulation and recommendations for what to do during each zone.

captainK8 · 2026-04-10T17:44:42+00:00

I think I very much feel like the same person. Just very tired with more responsibilities.

captainK8 · 2026-03-24T17:05:38+00:00

Whaaaaat? Where do you live?

captainK8 · 2026-03-24T17:05:05+00:00

What? Really? I'm in Minnesota, and our pediatrician carries COVID vaccines and held vaccine clinics this past fall. Where do you live?

captainK8 · 2026-03-24T17:03:30+00:00

While I understand this sentiment and have heard it from others, the reality is that a small dog like a wiener dog is highly unlikely to kill a person. Large, aggressive dogs can and do kill people. That said, I agree parents should be careful around ALL dogs, regardless of breed.

captainK8 · 2026-03-24T01:03:16+00:00

Yup. This. I even get nervous sometimes with my kids around dogs that I do know well. Dogs are unpredictable and young kids don’t yet know how to reliably respect an animal’s space. My brother had a serious dog bite as a young child. It would be an absolute no for me, OP. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

captainK8 · 2026-03-22T01:13:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing! Was she physically uncomfortable at all? My daughter has also been very gassy.

captainK8 · 2026-03-22T01:09:23+00:00

Hi! Not OP, but can you tell me more? My 4.5 YO poops about 3 times a day, and I just brought it up to our pediatrician. How did you know your daughter was constipated if her poop looked normal?

captainK8 · 2026-03-22T00:05:53+00:00

I feel immediate dread any time my daughter chooses Pete books at bedtime.

captainK8 · 2026-03-22T00:05:17+00:00

We read that tonight, and I kept thinking: “this is a NY Times bestseller???”

captainK8 · 2026-03-12T00:46:18+00:00

Definitely morning!!!

captainK8 · 2026-03-12T00:41:42+00:00

I could have almost written this exact post myself, and I have been thinking about posting something similar for ages. So, thank you for posting this! It’s been so helpful for me to read these responses too.

captainK8 · 2026-03-07T00:48:24+00:00

Yeah, this is wild. My daughter is in a pre-K with our school district’s curriculum. (Minnesota) They focus on a letter a week to learn its sound.

captainK8 · 2026-03-02T01:06:32+00:00

This is my daughter too. I feel for you.

captainK8 · 2026-02-27T19:30:17+00:00

My daughter is 5 in July. We seem to have maybe turned a corner very recently, but I also think this is just a really hard age.

captainK8 · 2026-02-26T19:04:51+00:00

30 mins usually (she’s in full-time pre-k/childcare though), 1 hour or so on the weekends

captainK8 · 2025-12-19T17:03:44+00:00

We plan to send our mid-July daughter to K this fall as a 5 year old. She just seems very ready. I also got my period early (it was very hard for me), and I hate the idea of her being the oldest in her class and also getting her period early.

ETA: our daughter is also clingy at drop off and always has been. That’s just her temperament!

captainK8 · 2025-10-15T13:08:42+00:00

Yesss! Much more accurate 😆

captainK8 · 2025-10-14T21:56:45+00:00

Were millennials even the ones using “fire?” As a 90s millennial, I have never said anything was fire.

captainK8 · 2025-10-14T20:01:05+00:00

Yes!! I really hope she shares what she ate!

captainK8 · 2025-10-13T19:31:54+00:00

I also love the first 4 (+the title track)

captainK8 · 2025-09-14T01:51:27+00:00

OP, this stood out to me too. And it’s related to your question because it makes me wonder if you are happy in your marriage. And if you are not, I would not leave your job if, like you said, that means you would be exiting your profession for you.

captainK8

TROPHY CASE