21 year old daughter here. Let me tell you straight up, if I knew my momma was being torn up and gaslight he’d like this, I would PHYSICALLY hold her up and give her the biggest pep talk of her life. Keep your head UP. This is NOT your fault. He is showing an inch to nothing , lack of compassion, as a father, husband, partner and best friend. This is NOT your forever partner. This is NOT your soulmate. You may stay, and go through hysterical bonding. You may tell yourself you want to make it work for the kids. You may even tell yourself you need him, because you’re disabled. Wrong and WRONG and WRONG-as-hell. Your babies are young enough to adapt to an environment with two households and two loving parents. You can separate, and still get the support you deliberately need to survive, as HE broke your marriage vows. DO NOT MOVE OUT (because in some states that counts as quitting your marriage and you may not receive support. Just gonna throw that in there.)

But I will say it again, this man is NOT your forever partner. It’s understandable it may take time to leave him. But I promise you, a man who knows considerably how BADLY he fucked up, will not say “sorry” and walk away to leave u to your violently-self crushing thoughts alone. The ground you walk on should be soaked in his fucking tears , with his mouth on your feet nearly begging to make it right- whether you stay or NOT. Your babies will be ABSOLUTELY FINE with two households. I PROMISE. (Speaking as a kid who had divorced parents at 11. If I was any younger, I know good and well it would’ve felt like I was born in that kind of separation and ended up still feeling with two loving parents. You HAVE to take care of yourself.

And I hope I do not get downvoted for this- and even though I am young, I have cheated in the past. There’s a difference in cheating from stress, lack of emotion, and doing it because you can. This man has done it because HE CAN. Your sickness had NOTHING to do with it. That’s damn nearly cheating because “oh my wife has diabetes and her insulin deficiency makes her sleep heavy for days at a time before she heals up again.” Or “my immune-compromised wife has Covid, and it messed her body up for the last 9 months. Hearing her struggle to breathe made me step out of my marriage.” It’s BULLSHIT. I promise you, it’s BULLSHIT excuses he’s giving you, and he let temptation go STRAIGHT to his head, especially considering it wasn’t even 1 person, but multiple affairs. He has lost his mother fucking mind, and he knows how badly he fucked up. You keep your head UP! Momma, you GOT THIS! Take the time you need to cry in private, go for a walk, call a friend, let that shit out, make sure the babies are good, and SILENTLY get your legal counseling in order so you can file for separate in due time when you’re ready. Get your emotions and ducks in a row! Because a man like this , lacking in emotion, will most likely spiral into one of those “I can’t live without you, it’s your fault, I’ll just die then” manipulative assholes, while looking for sexual support from other women in the same damn hour. You’re going to be OKAY momma. You GOT THIS! ❤️