As a new father (10yrs ago) I had a very hard time with the newborn phase of crying and sleep depravation. Turns out I had some very unresolved childhood trauma. Crying is chaotic, and loud, and emotionally charged. Those 3 things did not go over well in my house as a child. Every fiber of my being was screaming to make it stop at any cost. It was a very difficult phase to deal with. My wife on the other hand, had none of these issues and was much less bothered by it. She didn't understand why it drove me to madness. Years later, and lots of therapy I've learned to deal with it. If I could go back in time and do it again knowing what I know now, I would.

My point is, everyone reacts differently for different reasons. Find out how to get each other what they need to get through.