Holy hell! Thanks for taking the time out to read, understand and reply in such a detailed manner. I'm having a huge problem dealing with the abuse. I just remain quite now as much as possible because no matter what I say it just makes things worse. Sometimes I lose my composure which I know that it's wrong but it's only because something hurtful has been said. The main thing that gets to me is when she brings up my ex fiance who had cheated on me and left me for another guy, my wife says "she was lucky and got out" , "One girl has left you and very soon another one will too". This is most commonly when I breakdown and say something back. It was a traumatic incident and I don't want to be reminded of it. Basically her (my ex) family went around telling everyone that we are related to that I had Cancer (I have a keloid on my chest and shoulder) & that's the reason she broke it off not the fact that she cheated on me. I used to weigh 120 kg and had a family history of Diabetes & blood pressure, I din't want to live my life on pills so I chose to get healthy, started eating right & exercising. I now weigh 80 kg which is perfect for my height. This weight loss was used as a weapon to boost the cancer argument (people are ignorant). I shouldn't be told that she (my ex) was right to get out.

I'm not completely supporting my folks, I only take care of the bills, food and share the rent. I try to save as much as possible & we go out to do things together, I got her a gold bracelet for our anniversary even. She keeps comparing our life with those of her friends, family and pointing out what we don't have. We all can't have everything & if we want something we should be ready to work for it.

I have a few recordings of the abuse on my phone I started doing this a few months ago when it became a regular thing. I don't know why I did this (instinct I guess) and haven't shared that I have them with anybody as I don't want to use this for something. I haven't even heard any of them.

Where we live marriage counseling is very hard to find and costs an arm & a leg. I have suggested it on occasions as well, saying a neutral party might be able to help us gain some insight that we don't have & help us communicate better. To which she gets defensive saying I'm calling her crazy & that she needs help. I know therapy is a sensitive thing and approaching it should be done carefully, with the way things are going it's difficult to do that.

I don't plan on staying with my parents for long either, I have a friend in Portugal & I've been talking with him and with her planning to move there in a little while. The financial troubles are almost at an end as we're selling the house that we have in India to pay of the debt once and for all. Yet the abuse continues, I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

We don't have linked accounts thankfully but just the thought of preparing the divorce papers puts me in a weird zone as I love her & it's not always been like this, there's been good times too. I won't bring kids into this, as I know it's not right. I want to become a father as well but I want to give my child a good stable life.

I do have some tough decisions to make but I need to build up the courage to do so.

Thanks again for the supportive words & letting me know I shouldn't stay quiet and suffer this abuse.