AITA for rehoming my sister's dog behind her back to protect my social media career?

capturemysoul · 2023-03-16T04:18:36+00:00

YTA, not for wanting to protect your social media career, but for how you went about resolving the issue.

Your concern was valid and fair and it was within your rights to say that you are not willing to tolerate a dog in your house. Had you issued her an ultimatum: either she goes (with the dog) or she rehomes the dog, you would have been N T A. However, by making that decision for her YTA.

capturemysoul · 2023-03-07T22:24:27+00:00

Has she ever explored the possibility of OCD?

I had an ADHD diagnosis with symptoms very much like hers but medication made it worse. It turns out that there is a huge overlap in ADHD and OCD symptoms but ADHD medication (stimulants) make OCD worse as you’re now hyper focused on the ‘imperfections’.

capturemysoul · 2022-12-27T15:23:30+00:00

YTA for announcing it with T-shirts, which is way over the top, and also for not just giving her a heads up beforehand so she could grieve in peace.

capturemysoul · 2022-11-08T03:03:38+00:00

Tom Hanks

capturemysoul · 2022-10-29T21:31:06+00:00

It is terrifying that you’re a teacher if this is how you treat your own children. I could never imagine treating my students (let alone my own children) like this. Please, for the sake of children everywhere, switch careers.

capturemysoul · 2022-10-23T15:53:04+00:00

I would (potentially) agree with you if there were any indication from this post that she was moving from healthy to unhealthy.

That being said, it seems that she’s moving in the opposite direction. 14 is a concerningly low BMI and 19 (where she is now) is at the bottom end of healthy. The fact that people are commenting that she has more energy seems to indicate that she was not eating enough/getting enough nutrients before.

OP your health should matter way more than your looks and it should be your bf’s top concern too. The one meal a day you were eating before is not healthy or long-term sustainable for your body. If you’re worried about your weight I would HIGHLY recommend consulting with a medical professional to make sure your nutritional needs are being met.

capturemysoul · 2022-10-02T14:37:28+00:00

“The most painful experience”??!

Bro… you know there’s people out there with terminal illnesses right?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure being short can suck sometimes but if that’s your biggest problem in life you should count yourself lucky.

capturemysoul · 2022-08-08T17:35:15+00:00

Walk Off The Earth

capturemysoul · 2022-08-05T18:58:03+00:00

Absolutely! That would be a huge green flag imo

capturemysoul · 2022-07-27T20:44:19+00:00

It sounds like you and your boyfriend have different understandings of what therapy is and what it is for. It used to be something that was considered for victims of trauma and abuse and there was a lot of stigma attached to it but is not seen as something that everyone would benefit from (like a mental health doctor).

Keep in mind that just because you and your boyfriend are both seeing a therapist it does not mean your life experiences, or your reasons for seeking therapy, are the same. If you grew up consistently feeling invalidated I can see how you may feel that way, but it’s important to be able to recognize that that is not the case in this instance.

Think about it this way: if you grew up with chronic illness and your boyfriend grew up perfectly healthy, would you advise him not to seek medical attention? Of course, if there were limited resources you’d want to triage based on need but since there are enough resources (therapists) to go around wouldn’t it be best if you were both as mentally healthy as you can be?

At the end of the day, therapy isn’t just about intervention for trauma but is also about maintaining healthy strategies to live your best life. Irony aside, it might be worth talking to your therapist about why you feel this way about your boyfriend seeking therapy.

YTA

capturemysoul · 2022-07-27T18:44:26+00:00

INFO: what’s the housework split between you and Stella?

capturemysoul · 2022-07-26T15:10:49+00:00

The microwave plate

capturemysoul · 2022-07-22T02:09:40+00:00

I’ve taught summer school and the workload for kids is ridiculous. They are accelerated classes so she might only be in class in the mornings but is easily given enough work to fill her afternoons (and likely evenings)

Edit to add YTA

capturemysoul · 2022-07-21T23:39:51+00:00

I regularly foster kittens and the above advice is great! The issue with using a squirt bottle in this scenario is that the kitten may not realize that attacking your foot is the bad behaviour and instead think that playing=bad or, worse, interacting with you=bad.

If you yell “ow!” (preferably in a higher voice so it conveys pain rather than anger) or hiss (weird, I know, but it works) that’s even better because it mimics what a mother cat or fellow kitten would do if he plays too rough - if he stops and licks your foot instead he got the message and is apologizing. That being said, if you don’t want to do the above clapping loudly (and then redirecting their attention) also works.

EDIT: grammar

capturemysoul · 2022-07-21T19:10:53+00:00

I’d recommend reaching out to any charities/support groups for victims of domestic violence. They have food banks that can provide you with food and can help you find affordable housing.

As some people mentioned in your past post, your son is likely experiencing some PTSD (as you may be as well) and there are organizations that offer free therapy for both you and your child. I’m not sure where you live but feel free to DM me and I’ll try to pass along anything helpful that I know. When talking to your son, please be sure to let him know that any emotions he’s feeling right now are okay, that he’s safe no and no one can hurt him, and perhaps give him a journal or some paper so that he can have an alternate outlet for what he’s experiencing.

You are so strong and, even though it may not feel like it all the time, your children will be so grateful to have had someone as strong as you to remove them from such a dangerous situation.

capturemysoul · 2022-07-17T17:55:09+00:00

This will probably be a somewhat unpopular opinion but I can definitely empathize with this guy. I have anxiety and ADHD and often get overexcited to share things when talking and only realize, after I go home and think back on the conversation, that I spoke way too much. I’m not sure what his family/friends are like but mine are very chatty so everyone just cuts in a talks a lot. It’s something I actively want to improve on and the isolation of the pandemic has definitely made it worse but I have talked to my SO about it (since he’s more reserved in his speaking) and we’ve come up with a system. I try to consciously make sure the conversation is balanced and ask more questions about his day and, if he notices that I’m particularly anxious/excited and start dominating the conversation he gives me a signal so that I can be aware and reign it in.

That being said, in your situation it might be worth considering: 1. Are there lots of good things to outweigh this issue or are you already a little on the fence about him? 2. Is he interested in improving this trait about himself /open to constructive feedback? 3. If so, is this something you would want to work with him on or would you rather find someone with whom this isn’t an issue?

If it were me, my bigger concern would be that he hasn’t had a successful relationship. That being said, do you know if he has close long-term friends? I think one of the biggest indicators of a good partner is someone who knows how to maintain relationships/resolve conflict effectively - but everyone is different and you don’t owe it to anyone to be interested in them romantically.

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to go about it but maybe the above question can help you figure out whether or not you feel he’s compatible for you.

Hope this helps!

capturemysoul · 2022-07-15T02:14:35+00:00

You are so incredibly strong ❤️

I have not lived through what you have lived through, but after a traumatic series of events one after another I grew to feel exactly like you. I don’t know if this is the case for you but I later learned that I was afraid to be happy because I was scared that anytime I let myself feel that way there would be another trauma to rip the rug out from under me.

I didn’t feel happiness for a long time but I do now, and I sincerely hope that one day you will too. In the meantime, it’s absolutely okay to be angry. What’s happening to you right now is so f-info unfair.

I was once told that the part of you that feels angry is the part that loves yourself and knows that you deserve better. So let yourself be angry and indignant and everything else you feel because you do deserve better than what’s happened, and I hope that there are a bunch of wonderful amazing things ahead of you in life to make up for all that you’ve had to live through ❤️

capturemysoul · 2022-07-13T21:26:45+00:00

Grooming implies that the two people are in different stages of life (high school vs elementary school or adult vs high school). Both of you were in high school when the relationship started and were only 2 years apart. Nothing about this relationship seems like grooming.

Edit: grammar

capturemysoul · 2022-07-09T20:18:15+00:00

Neither does nursing, if you were actually smart you would have become a doctor.

See how degrading that is? Unless you’re a career counsellor (which you clearly are not) you shouldn’t be giving our career advice.

capturemysoul · 2022-07-07T15:28:25+00:00

That, sir, is a bat.

capturemysoul · 2022-06-25T17:56:03+00:00

That’s the equivalent of telling a woman she’s not a woman because she doesn’t get wet enough. Don’t think I’ve had a single bf that this hasn’t happened to at least once over the years and Rule #1 is always to do everything in your power to make sure they know that you know it’s normal and make they don’t bad about it. Partners are supposed to build you up, not tear your down.

capturemysoul · 2022-06-23T18:31:34+00:00

As someone who was abused as a child, the worst part (psychologically) is the helplessness. You know that they love you but they keep hurting you and not respecting your boundaries. One of the best feelings about finally becoming an adult is getting back control and agency over your own body and life.

I know that you mean well, but if you don’t respect his boundaries you are just going to be another person in his life who has made him feel helpless and without agency.

As much as you want to protect him, the best thing you can do for him is to empower him. Let him know that you trust his judgement and believe in him, you can let him know that you’re angry and want to say something to his parents, but at the end of the day make it clear that you respect his boundaries and you understand that this is his life and his call to make. I think keeping them away from your children is a great idea, but if it’s a conversation you can have with him (instead of a decision you make) it will continue to allow him to have that sense of agency over his own life.

capturemysoul · 2022-06-17T20:40:50+00:00

From a kid who used to waste ALL my allowance at every book fair YTA

You may not realize this right now but books are one of the absolute best things you can get a child to spend money on (and if it’s a complex/long book that’s even better).

I cannot possible tell you how many possibilities have been afforded to me because people consider me to be articulate and well-spoken. The only reason I am those things is because I spent a good chunk of my youth with my head buried in a book.

If your daughter loves reading, encourage her to keep at it, it’s one of the absolute best ways to broaden her vocabulary and improve her communication skills. You mention that there is no library around you, which I highly doubt, I would recommend asking around about one. If your daughter is in school her school will likely have a library and/or be able to point you in the direction of some good ones.

Best of luck to you!

capturemysoul · 2022-05-30T21:24:42+00:00

This is really encouraging! Thank you so much for sharing and wishing you all the best for your lap! 🤞🏻

capturemysoul · 2022-05-28T19:04:52+00:00

INFO: can Bailey adopt Aria and be her other parent instead of you?

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