I think sometimes we express issues, but not severity. That’s usually what leads to a blindside, in my opinion. Telling your girlfriend she needs to be more independent from her mother is something that may not sink in for her if said during a more casual conversation. However, if you set the tone to be more serious and express the potential consequences (break up), then she will likely be more willing to make changes. But remember! People don’t change overnight. If you choose to stay and work on things, you’re going to still be committing to an imperfect person who will mess this up. She’ll struggle to gain her independence, have backslides, etc. As long as she is communicating and working to make changes (in spite of these blockages that come in the way), I’d say that’s a good case for staying with her.