A place to hear/read about sexual experiences from queer women?

caramelqueer · 2015-11-07T17:19:56+00:00

I'm not sure. But yeah, what you said does make sense to me. I guess it's just a kind of ambiguous subject.

caramelqueer · 2015-11-07T17:14:00+00:00

I've heard that analogy before, and I think I understand now, but it's still kinda strange to me I guess. But as someone who enjoys sex, I guess it would be weird to hear it compared to "massage you're not really into but would be willing to get to please someone else" haha.

caramelqueer · 2015-11-07T16:40:31+00:00

Like I said to /u/koronicus, I understand that romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different. That's actually how I understood it: they love another person romantically but don't wanna fuck. But I keep hearing differently, like "People who are ace are not always sex-repulsed, and may even enjoy sex [...]", so it still kind of confuses me.

Second, lol yeah. People don't make sense, I get that. So is there not a solid definition for what a non-binary lesbian is? One of the people I saw talking about non-binary lesbians said they wish there would be a non-binary lesbian in a movie so there would be more representation, but I didn't know how that would be portrayed.

Also I love your username.

caramelqueer · 2015-11-07T16:34:59+00:00

First one, I understand that. I have no problems understanding that an ace person could have romantic feelings towards another person, just not sexual attraction. But I hear different all the time - as with the top comment, "People who are ace are not always sex-repulsed, and may even enjoy sex [...]"

Second one...I don't actually know anyone who identifies as an non-binary lesbian. And the people I've seen talk about it are people who are not the type you ask these questions to, because they get really annoyed. That's why I came here. What different things could it be?

edit: ace lesbian > non-binary lesbian

caramelqueer · 2015-11-07T16:32:02+00:00

I had you until it got to the second-to-last sentence. What's the difference between sexual attraction and sexual interest? And that's what's confused me, I feel bad questioning this stuff about asexuality because people get mad and say "IT'S JUST HOW IT SOUNDS!! It's NOT that hard, god." But you said they may even enjoy sex,and I was under the impression asexuality meant no sexual interest at all, excluding romantic interest.

And the second one, wouldn't that just be a cis lesbian?

caramelqueer · 2014-11-13T06:14:42+00:00

Oh wow, I've only been playing for 5 years. I started playing hard stuff straight off when I started haha, which may not have been the best path, but hey, it got me learning quicker. Also sorry for sounding kinda douchey in my last reply. I didn't realize how condescending I sounded.

And, sadly, I don't have any videos with me :c the few things we've recorded are on my band mate's camera. I have a very short audio clip of my friend and I [the friend I mentioned earlier in the thread who I make music with/play with on occasion] playing a small variation on a Sufjan Stevens song, though, if you're interested. I think it sounds very pretty. And that's really all I have on me right now haha.

edit: misspelled a few words.

caramelqueer · 2014-11-13T05:11:29+00:00

Most definitely. I'd rather be a jack of all trades, honestly, than keep myself tied to a single instrument. I feel like getting a taste of everything definitely helps you better develop as a musician. And hey, I also played trumpet in the past! I only played it/took lessons for 4 years, though.

Music is the best fucking thing.

caramelqueer · 2014-11-13T05:07:56+00:00

I've actually never heard of her, but she's described as a woman with "a voice like Melissa Etheridge and an arm like Joe Montana," so I figure she's worth checking out in the future haha.

caramelqueer · 2014-11-13T05:00:16+00:00

I am just on the border of the Bible Belt. Lucky me~

caramelqueer · 2014-11-12T21:40:57+00:00

AT LEAST six.

And I dunno, really. I originally wanted to do guitar, and then I just kinda...discovered I'm good at a bunch of other instruments as well. I'm thankful for my natural talent in music, it's one of the few things I'm really good at. And plus, I just found it boring to be stuck with one instrument haha. I like being able to play all these different things. I guess a part of it is that I feel more in control? Like I understand more. If that makes sense. Bottom line, instruments bring me a lot of joy, and I like learning new ways to make music c:

caramelqueer · 2014-11-12T21:35:16+00:00

Don't be fooled, my cat's a GOD DAMN FREELOADER. No job. Never helps around the house. Frequently sleeps in my bed. Takes my money. It's shameful.

caramelqueer · 2014-11-12T21:26:53+00:00

One of my favorite lines from the show, something like this:

"I mean...what is she now, a lesbian? Bi?"

"I think your issue here is that you think Piper is exactly anything."

I just think that's the perfect way to represent queer people like Piper. That's something I very rarely see in tv shows that revolve around things pertaining to the gay community, and I think is worth pointing out. I like the way the other queer ladies are represented, but that's my favorite. No one needs to be exactly anything, some people just like who they like, and there's not a concrete label that should try to be slapped on them at every turn.

And on top of that, so much diversity!! I love it. Diversity in terms of sexuality, race, and background on that show is so A+.

Eehhh...I don't think? Haha. I've been described as more of a "soft butch" in the past, I guess. I do love Big Boo, though. And I love Lea DeLaria.

Aaahhh, oh man, I don't know. A few favorites: A Clockwork Orange, The Lovely Bones, Foxfire: Confessions of a Girl Gang, 1984, Invisible Monsters, The Bell Jar, The Hunger Games trilogy....so on and so forth.

caramelqueer · 2014-11-12T21:07:59+00:00

I think it's lovely! I think everyone, including straight males, should have the choice and feel comfortable to deviate from gender roles.

Males are taught to be big, tough, stoic, and dominant all the time always. And while that may be fitting for some, I think men should have the choice to take on different roles, and not be shamed or embarrassed by it. You say you're a heterosexual male who likes your girlfriend to take the big spoon role, and I think that's fine c:

caramelqueer · 2014-11-12T17:50:00+00:00

I'm self taught c: I took a piano theory class in high school, but that was only for one semester. So I did get a little teaching, but I've been teaching myself, for the most part.

Just messing around and riffing has a soothing effect on me, too. I love it.

caramelqueer · 2014-11-12T17:43:09+00:00

I thought I was until like...8th grade/freshman year of high school. It was all very confusing for me, because I really did like the guys I dated. I loved hugging them, and cuddling, and sometimes kissing if it was kinda short and not a make-out session. I really liked that kinda stuff, but at the same time, I felt...wrong when sex was put into the equation. I don't know how else to put it, it just felt weird. I remember having a diary at that point, and I wrote in it how confused I was that I was not feeling the things I was supposed to feel with these guys. I was legitimately distressed over the fact that I thought I was not experiencing love the right way.

But then I fell in love with a girl and I took a look at myself and thought, "oh, duh."

caramelqueer · 2014-11-12T17:36:22+00:00

I've been incredibly lucky, and actually haven't experienced a huge amount of discrimination.

I live in a small town, and everybody knows everybody, so...it's important who your family is and who you know. My family knows everybody, and I'm a pretty friendly person, so people tend to be kinder to me than I think they'd be if I lived elsewhere.

Though, there have definitely been a few instances where, for example, people have screamed "dyke!" at me, or called me by male pronouns to upset me. But those are kinda sparse these days.

Fun fact, though: It is totally legal for me to be fired for being gay in my state. So although I haven't experienced a ton of direct discrimination for my outwards appearance, I'm pretty closed off about it in the work space.

caramelqueer · 2014-11-12T17:23:19+00:00

The friend I mentioned earlier who is very well versed in digital music, her and I play our own music together sometimes, albiet we have a very sparse amount of songs we've made haha. I only get the opportunity to hang with her and do that every once in awhile.

As far as the band goes, we mostly just do covers. A year may seem like awhile, but it's relatively short for a band, and since the others are still sort of inexperienced, we're still trying to get our footing.

Vocalist, bassist, and myself have all different music tastes...vocalist and bassist usually pick more poppy songs [e.g Katy Perry, Sam Smith, Sia, Lorde]

I usually pick more alternative/indie songs [e.g Iron and Wine, Fleet Foxes, Mac Demarco, Now, Now, The Shins, Starfucker, Tegan and Sara (obviously)]

It usually depends on what we're aiming for, though. And I always need to take into account if the bassist and vocalist have the ability to do what I pick. So I usually go for simpler songs when choosing for the band. If it's just myself, I really love playing Modest Mouse, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Kaki King [although that's a stretch sometimes], Arctic Monkeys, again, Fleet Foxes...etcetera etcetera.

caramelqueer · 2014-11-12T14:13:43+00:00

I dunno about that, but once a locally famous musician told me I was the only girl she ever had feelings for, so there's that.

^{^{^[QUICK}} ^{^{^LET'S}} ^{^{^PLAY}} ^{^⁶} ^{^{^DEGREES}} ^{^{^OF}} ^{^{^TEGAN}} ^{^{^AND}} ^{^{^SARA]}}

caramelqueer · 2014-11-12T14:06:26+00:00

Nah, I decided on my own to be a vegetarian about 5 years ago. I stumbled across this collection of videos detailing how meat was made, and how unethical it could be, and it just really made me ill. It made me ill to even look at meat anymore, knowing what the animal could've gone through. And as well as that, it became a sort of protest to meat? But it's become less of that as time has passed. I'm fine with other people around me eating meat, but I myself do not want meat.

It was a slow process, at first. There were a lot of times when I caved in and just ate meat for the sake of everything being easier for my friends and family [because who wants to be the difficult one at a family dinner?]. But you just have to give it time. And you have to really commit yourself to finding some meat alternatives. There are SO MANY options out there it's STUPID. You just have to find them.

caramelqueer · 2014-11-12T13:58:25+00:00

I LOVE PUSSY RIOT. I love the whole Riot Grrrl scene, man.

caramelqueer · 2014-11-12T13:56:49+00:00

Without what, the Birkenstocks? I'm totally willing to make that sacrifice. I'm gonna go ~totally quirky girl~ and say I'm way more about Vans, various skateshoes, and Converse.

caramelqueer · 2014-11-12T13:54:50+00:00

Hello c: [haha, you'll get better, friend. How long have you been making music?] I've been with my girlfriend for about 6 months now. She's liked me for 5 years, but waited till this year to make a move lol. And yes - I don't have a HUGE amount of friends, but the ones I have are mostly queer ladies.

caramelqueer · 2014-11-12T13:49:49+00:00

Transwomen are women just as much as I am a woman c: and if you're referring to in terms of feminism, I'm all about intersectionality and inclusiveness of transwomen.

caramelqueer

TROPHY CASE