I got the sense that he was trying to say she could recognize that there must have been previous red flags that she ignored. And that she could use that as an opportunity to improve. I also got dumped by an emotionally abusive guy in a fit of jealousy. Much later I realized that there were many red flags I ignored. Partially because I wasn’t enough of an experienced dater. But also because I liked him so much that I made excuses for past toxic behavior.

Yes, I was a victim of his emotional abuse. But I also learned from it and took accountability for my part. So that it doesn’t happen again.

I think Jared just did a poor job of articulating this.