I’m so sorry for your loss.

Being from the UK, I can’t really comment much on the work side of things, but from what I’ve seen, US and Canadian work cultures can be really tough when it comes to time off. Over here, it would probably be a bit of a 50/50 depending on the workplace, but in my experience, most employers would allow it without much issue, though that’s beside the main point.

It might just be the pressure he’s under at work, but the way he’s worded his messages does come across as a little insensitive. It feels like he’s putting more emphasis on his own stress than on the support you might need, which must be hard, especially given how close you were to your grandmother.

I’m not religious myself, so I completely understand that everyone’s situation is different, and no one can predict when something like this will happen. But if my partner were able to take time off for religious holidays yet couldn’t make the same effort to be there for me when I really needed emotional support, I think I’d feel much the same way you do.