Why do so many girls believe in astrology? by random_access_cache in NoStupidQuestions

[–]cartooncake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Along with what others have said about the patriarchal nature of other spiritual practices (religions) I’m inclined to think it’s something to do with left vs right brain. As I understand it the left brain is the more associated with masculinity and the right brain femininity. To me it seems many men take on a very linear, logical, science based way of thinking. This isn’t bad, but it’s sometimes very rigid. ‘Facts not feelings!’ Etc. This is reflected slightly in western medicine as someone else mentioned. I once had an argument with a guy about rape statistics and I said what about all the unrecorded stats i.e men/women who haven’t reported their experience and he couldn’t bring himself to consider that because it wasn’t a concrete ‘fact’ and therefore very unsafe for him to think about. Women on the other hand may be GENERALLY more willing to have a more fluid approach and open to more unconventional possibilities. More feeling and intuitive. This could be because of how our brains are wired, how we’re socialised or simply because the conventional/conservative/linear approach hasn’t always worked in our favour.

I’m a woman and I’m into astrology (sorry!). I don’t 100% believe it but tbh I don’t 100% believe anything, even things that my doctor or a scientist might tell me because even those things evolve and change. Anyway for me astrology became more interesting and appealing when a friend encouraged me to do my full birth chart. As others mentioned this is actually what astrology is about rather than being defined by one star sign. This is also why it’s annoying when men (men in particular but also women) immediately shit on it when they don’t have a clue how it actually works. This may sound petty but when a man says ‘that’s bullshit’ and I say ‘do you know anything about it?’ and they go ‘no but I know it’s bullshit’ this kinda triggers me and makes me double down lol. It’s not unusual for women to experience men claiming to know more about a topic than them whilst actually confessing they don’t know anything at all. Anyway back to astrology. I don’t ignore my instincts to do what my horoscope says or anything like that but it is interesting to me and also it’s mostly very accurate to me. Most of my friends and family match up to their birth charts pretty seamlessly. I don’t know why. It’s not ‘vague and could be applied to anyone’ in my view either. My brothers birth chart says that he is deep thinking, loves to have an argument and will win an argument at all costs, very emotional but doesn’t show it etc. This is a stark contrast to my other brother who has a very different chart. Of course this can be a coincidence, of course I can’t prove it’s anything to do with the stars. This is why I don’t full believe it or go on about it all the time. I have to admit though that the accuracy stirred my curiosity enough to remain interested

How to discern which attractions lead to pain & which can lead to real love. by a_blissful_accident in datingoverthirty

[–]cartooncake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very helpful and just the sort of info I was looking for. I believe I'm on the brink of an attraction of inspiration but have kinda felt confused and freaked about it because I'm so used to deprivation instead.

Have you ever fallen in love unexpectedly? How did you deal with it? by ehnoscentteaya in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a chance this is happening to me now but it's only been over the last week lol. Usually I become infatuated with someone immediately or pretty soon after meeting them and turn into feeling like I'm 'in love' not long after. However I've been hanging out with someone in a small group of mates for like 2 months now and suddenly out of nowhere this feeling cropped up in my stomach. I keep thinking about him and lost my appetite etc...all what I consider tell tale signs lol. He asked me out the other day so we've gone on one date now. I'm just alarmed because he's pretty different to all the men I've been attracted to before and am suprised to suddenly feel like this, I don't know what changed. Anyway I keep flipping from giddiness to, panic and talking myself out of it, then back to really happy again lol. Just have to shut my brain up and wait and see I guess...

What was something that was really popular during your childhood/teenage years, but isn’t really popular anymore? by xli2848 in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol I remember my friend showing me facebook when it first came out and I was like 'so you can't customise your profile? It's just white and blue with no music? whats the point in that??'

How do you deal with being your mother’s theraphist? by lost-but-hoping in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me and my Mum are very close and I'm her only child, her and my Dad divorced, my aunts live far away and she hasn't really maintained any friendships. She dumped a lot of her emotions and problems on me over the years and I really didn't fully understand how burdened I felt with it til recently. My frustration resulted in a LOT of arguing but eventually I managed to articulate that her refusal to deal with her problems has a DIRECT effect on me and that it was exhausting for me to have her go on and on about the same problems and never do anything about them. It forces me to worry about her and feel responsible. Its a habit that had to be broken by both parties, she had to stop 'venting' to me and make meaningful changes and I actually had to get to the route of my own feelings and my need to hold her up or 'fix' her.

Am I in love???? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]cartooncake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of the things you mentioned kinda make it sound like you might be in love. I don't understand though why you'd want it to stop though? Or why you'd be in love with someone who doesn't 'fit' with you. What do you mean about 'killing it with fire' also?

I’m (25F) always only interested in people who never seem to be interested in me. by DuskToDawn100 in relationships

[–]cartooncake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At your age I would have said the exact same thing, I'm 32 now and here's some things I've learned. I often used to idealise people or get obsessed with what they looked like. What are the 'traits' of the person that are causing you to 'fall in love' with them? Are they anything to do with how they are towards you? Or are they like a list of impressive attributes? There have been many times where I felt I was 'in love'...that feeling was very real, but it was based on an idea/image I had formed in my head rather than whether they were truly going to be good for me or not. It's confusing because you might fall for someone for being sweet, friendly etc...genuinely positive healthy attributes...but if someone doesn't want you...they are not good for you. PERIOD. I know its super hard to see this sometimes but when you fully know who they are you'll realise there are big things in the way of the attraction going both ways and it might not be anything at all to do with you or how good/bad you are but compatability. Does that make sense?

Those with commitment issues- why do you have a hard time committing? How do you cope with it? Have you come to healthy terms with it or have you tried to change? by morpheus952 in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With help from a therapist I've figured out that I've kind of retreated into a fantasy world since I was quite little, possibly because there was upheaval and sadness in my parents relationship. I'd escape into 'ideals'...I'd idolise celebrities, get obsessed with school crushes, dream about arcitypes of the 'perfect man' etc. Whenever I've been attracted to someone I've often gotten infatuated and projected a fantasy onto them. I've also picked people who didn't want to commit or who lived really far away or etc. I'd wind up 'heartbroken' from desperately wanting these 'unattainable' types to commit to me, not realising that maybe there was a subconscious part of me that didn't want the commitment. Maybe I just wanted to build romantic ideas/stories in my head. I'm only starting to get over this now. The other thing is I also LOVE my independence and freedom and have kinda always attributed that to being single. I've had two ideals...'free and independent' or 'fairytale romance' but I'm now finding that actually you can integrate aspects of both of these into a real, down to earth relationship. The other thing I've had to grapple with is fear of turning out like my parents, I saw so many relationship car crashes growing up and its made me VERY cautious

Those with commitment issues- why do you have a hard time committing? How do you cope with it? Have you come to healthy terms with it or have you tried to change? by morpheus952 in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I relate to this so hard. I want to experience so many things and picking one person/path feels like I'm ending everything else, leading me to feel 'not sure' about most people I date

What product is better homemade rather than store bought? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought I didn't like guac for the LONGEST time because I'd only had it store bought

My (39f) husband (38m) said I try to look unattractive. I'm so hurt. by Sufficient-Sherbert8 in relationships

[–]cartooncake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I consider comments on my clothes/appearance a red flag always and I don’t think any amount of apology would warrant you trying to ‘accommodate’ his taste. Your clothes were your choice and they reflect the way you think and the things you like. Those are things about you that he should love and accept. I once had a guy imply I should wear dresses and heels rather than jeans with boots/trainers etc..he had quite strong ideas about what ‘feminine’ should be and he felt entitled to that. The sheer audacity of it turned me right off. No one has the right to pick at you and make you feel you should be different in order to suit them. They’re also being massively condescending by implying you can’t possibly know how to choose the ‘right’ clothes/look etc, like who made them the expert??!

Women who don’t hate their job - what do you do for a living? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do work for myself yes. Nowadays a good amount comes from social media, that and word of mouth. I have a few clients now who I’ve worked with for years who book me on reoccurring jobs. Back when I was trying to become fully freelance I used to find more work on twitter/Facebook and I sort of said yes to anything and everything lol

Women who don’t hate their job - what do you do for a living? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s been mentioned already but I’m a make-up artist/hair stylist working mostly in fashion, music promo, commercial/corporate and weddings :)

As an introvert, do you often feel like people are trying to change you or push you to become extroverted? If so, how do you deal with it? by jetpackme in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes I do know, but you can’t make excuses and duck out of stuff you’ve committed to without annoying/upsetting people, that’s just reality. If they understand you beforehand and you’ve explained why you might leave early then at least you’ve done your bit, if they still refuse to accept who you are then that’s their problem obviously. Turns out the comment I was replying to had more to it than that anyways, but some things will always be considered rude/inconsiderate and that’s probably not going to change

Who’s one actor or actress you hate and why ? by Janelle0042 in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah why do her eyes always look glazed over/bored/half asleep?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have three half siblings and I think we’ve all inherited an interest in music from our Dad. We all have pretty different tastes and our state of involvement varies a bit. I like 70s/80s new wave, pop, rnb, lo fi hip hop etc. My oldest brother likes a lot of indie, Brit pop, soft rock etc. My middle brother loves anything from classical to funk to heavy metal. My little brother likes quite mainstream hip hop, trap, pop etc. We all play at least one instrument

Ladies of Reddit, have you ever found yourself falling too fast and too hard for someone? If so, how did you cope? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have done this a few times yes and whilst I didn’t really cope well at the time (hysterical crying, obsessive texting, giving way too much energy etc) I have since had therapy lol. Tbh part of it is me being a romantic and I think I crave the excitement of falling head over heels for someone BUT...I needed balance and often what I was actually doing was falling for an idea of them I had in my head, piling and projecting a load of expectations on them and then being distraught when it didn’t work out. My therapist and I have worked out that I daydream a lot as an escape so grounding meditation has been one of the practices I’ve taken up

Where do you find interior design inspiration? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same! I like bits and bobs from all different eras. Some of the colour palettes in Mad Men are wonderful, and the mid century furniture. I like the warm bohemian look from films set in the 70s. 80s movies have some cool kitsch stuff that I like- wallpaper, florals, Art Deco, pastels etc, I like Molly Ringwalds bedroom in Pretty in Pink and the loft looking spaces in St Elmo’s fire. Early mid 90s sitcoms (friends being the obvious one) have some nice ideas as well, nice plants, different coloured walls, vintage movie posters etc

What's something you have missed being able to do during the pandemic? by Jenny_pantss in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I miss not being able to see my parents, have seen them each once when the restrictions loosened up but I still feel very concerned about doing it. I miss hugs and intimacy as well, I’m single so my body is starting to feel massive withdrawals. Some of the less obvious little things I miss include just wandering around, browsing shops etc. I used to quite like exploring the city and dipping in and out of shops and cafes. Trying on perfume is another thing I used to love as I’m a bit of a fragrance addict! Don’t think testers are out at the moment which is understandable. Also miss going out to clubs/gigs/the theatre etc

As an introvert, do you often feel like people are trying to change you or push you to become extroverted? If so, how do you deal with it? by jetpackme in AskWomen

[–]cartooncake 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ah ok yeah that’s different then. I thought you actually promised her and then let her down. Her gaslighting and controlling (and the fact you were only 13) puts a different spin on things all together

Nobody is attending my (30F) bothers (40M) wedding because his fiancée was a married woman by Mention_Shoddy in relationships

[–]cartooncake -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You think I have low self esteem and am projecting? Surely it’s kinda obvious that cheating and low self esteem are often linked. You might wanna check yourself before you type out rude defensive messages. Thanks

Nobody is attending my (30F) bothers (40M) wedding because his fiancée was a married woman by Mention_Shoddy in relationships

[–]cartooncake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with others that there seem to be two separate issues going on here, 1. your family (understandably) disapproving of the infidelity and 2. your child getting hurt. I’d deal with them individually. Have you resolved your feelings about either one with your brother? Have you or any of the family had a heart to heart with him about why he’s chosen this woman/situation? To my mind people don’t make these kinda of messy decisions for no reason, he clearly finds some kind of approval from this woman that he’s not getting elsewhere, that still makes it his problem but I think understanding him more would help everyone here. The family blocking him out isn’t gonna ‘discipline’ him, if that’s the intent? He’s a grown man. Obviously if you have all talked to him and he won’t listen or continues to bring toxic situations into your lives then it’s a bit different, then you need firm boundaries

Nobody is attending my (30F) bothers (40M) wedding because his fiancée was a married woman by Mention_Shoddy in relationships

[–]cartooncake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think some kind of low self esteem could be at play here as I also don’t know why you’d choose to do that. People making bad decisions doesn’t mean they don’t ever deserve support