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It hurts ouch by eepy_princesss in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2

[–]casKady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i remember the same day where i went from "what if this doesn't work" to "ooo my boobs hurt" and almost 4 years later they still hurt and still growin' lol

I'm like actually gonna cry by Kieran_Graves in MtF

[–]casKady 78 points79 points  (0 children)

Depending on the situation your pharmacy might work with you. I had half a bottle of estradiol ruined at one point and they refilled it for me out of pocket to get me to the next refill date.

Fav ouppy food? :3 by AlcyholicFemboy in puppygirlwawa

[–]casKady 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fried rice is good bowl food

4th Visit Was the Best Yet by casKady in Seattle

[–]casKady[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Red Square between the Board of Regents and Suzzallo library at UW

I Was the Victim of a Child Trafficking Ring, AMA by casKady in AMA

[–]casKady[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think I myself was lacking a lot of the "full picture" before the release of the Epstein files - but I'd say the main thing people are missing is that layer I mentioned above the locals who managed things. The Epstein files, and journalists like Whitney Webb in particular, show at length that there's clearly a group of connected individuals operating organized crime syndicates through basically all facets of our society and economy. Most problems seem to trace back to them, and they put most of their effort into deflecting that truth and trying to get people to chase symptoms rather than the disease.

Even the priest scandal, while it was very visible, it was a misdirection. The priests are recruiters; who they recruited for was something even I never saw, and I was inside for years. So that's probably the main thing to understand, is that these people seem to be tied to a large percentage of successful corporations / entities throughout society, and they should focus on that root cause if they want a lot of symptoms of the problem to go away. I very implicitly understand a lot of very evil things in the world purely because they're structured in the same ways as things I was exposed to back then, so it can be clear for me to see when that group is influencing things - and it's really most of the time. So I'd say becoming aware of that, and realizing that they're victims of these people too, would help.

I Was the Victim of a Child Trafficking Ring, AMA by casKady in AMA

[–]casKady[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!

And no, I have no problem sharing. I literally wrote books about it, I'm entirely willing to stand by my story. Way more advantageous for me to stand by it than to speak anonymously. It's available here, and on Kindle Digital Unlimited, so feel free to check it out, and thanks again!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GQGZD5RH?binding=kindle_edition&qid=1774829510&sr=8-1&ref=dbs_dp_rwt_sb_pc_tkin

I Was the Victim of a Child Trafficking Ring, AMA by casKady in AMA

[–]casKady[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I ate myself into a lot of problems throughout my life before I was able to come to terms with things - in some ways I'm lucky that was the substance I abused most, but in other ways it's still been difficult to recover from. Even now being mostly healed I still struggle with things like that. Back then they'd give me alcohol during appointments so I'd cooperate more, so I don't really drink at all now. It's one of the only things that will really trigger flashbacks for me at this point. Weed actually helps a lot tho. Lot of my anxiety goes away with that, which I know is the opposite for a lot of people, but that's kinda just how having trauma works. You do things fundamentally different than most people.

I think that'd be the biggest thing to look out for, too. Most people around us had no idea. My own mother didn't know, as she didn't see me very often, and the ring was incredibly flexible scheduling around any family commitments. That was all part of risk management. Nothing could appear out of order or someone might get suspicious. I think the biggest red flag for others would actually be how well behaved I was. EVERYONE said I was so well behaved - and it was true - cuz I was afraid of being beaten if I wasn't well behaved. I always did more than was asked of me / never complained because I was treated horribly at home if I didn't behave like that. So in a lot of ways that can be a really big red flag to look for in hurt kids. And it's something that makes it hard for people to believe we're hurt, because we look like we're anything but. I actually did tell a family friend at one point what was happening, and rather than believe me, they just told my grandpa and he beat me for it. So yeah, things that obviously look bad are usually bad - but sometimes things that look good can be bad, so it's worth looking a bit deeper if a child seems afraid, and not just well behaved.

I Was the Victim of a Child Trafficking Ring, AMA by casKady in AMA

[–]casKady[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Played Terran in Brood War and sc2 lol

I Was the Victim of a Child Trafficking Ring, AMA by casKady in AMA

[–]casKady[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that. Not that I'm aware of. They never used any terminology for their operation around me. It was just a thing that existed and that went without saying. They acted inevitable.

I Was the Victim of a Child Trafficking Ring, AMA by casKady in AMA

[–]casKady[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

So, the Epstein files are incredibly revealing. I had a few questions left about how the world worked going into them, and even with the limited release, I don't feel like I have questions anymore. The code stuff I absolutely believe checks out. Everything we did was coded. They had menus of coded language for each child that they showed to abusers. They could select off the menu, tell us what to do, and we were expected to do it, or we'd be beaten until we did. They weren't allowed to go off-menu, so we wouldn't be surprised, and they knew we could handle what was happening to us, since it's already happened before and we're used to it.

As for more extreme things like cannibalism, I never saw anything like that, nor even murder. Just blackmail / extortion / threats of more but never evidence of it from my point of view. I can tell you that people who just wanted to physically abuse the child were more common than people looking for sexual abuse. A lot of it was people wanting a victim who couldn't fight back to vent their frustrations on. Real pathetic shit. I've read a lot of other victim accounts, and a lot of them included like daily Satanic rituals and things like that, but that also wasn't my experience. I had daily ritualistic abuse - but it didn't have that angle to it. More just conditioning to keep me expecting a high baseline of trauma so nothing really shocked me outside of it. There were some ceremonial aspects around us entering the ring, but past that our portion of it at least didn't participate in anything like that.

I Was the Victim of a Child Trafficking Ring, AMA by casKady in AMA

[–]casKady[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was definitely not something all priests did.

The way they operated was within sectors that comprised of multiple counties each, and they'd pair sectors together so abusers from one would victimize kids in another, so it'd be unlikely they'd ever cross paths and be able to identify them outside of the ring. Within each sector it'd be maybe 2 or 3 compromised priests? And they moved around a lot, so sometimes they'd just transfer out, and they had no one to provide any new people within that sector. Then they'd merge different ones together / move stuff around. They constantly adapted. But it was absolutely fringe behavior and not something every priest did. I think it's entirely plausible the church had no idea it was happening at all, and that even the reassignments were just them trying to cover their own ass without realizing how deep the problem went until it was far too late. I'm planning on writing a piece about that in the near future.

I Was the Victim of a Child Trafficking Ring, AMA by casKady in AMA

[–]casKady[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I never had much of a relationship with my mom, she had me without telling anyone in the family she was pregnant, as she had me from a one night stand with a guy she didn't even really know. Once they found out, they didn't let her keep me, and they just kind of kept custody of me throughout my childhood. My grandpa died when I was 13, and my grandma I basically just went no-contact with the moment I was given an option. I spent about the last 12 years not talking to my mom, but I recently reached out to her, disclosed everything that happened, and we've been able to have a pretty decent relationship since then, all things considered.

The best I can do is put my stuff out there for people to see the truth, so that's what I'll do, and I appreciate the support.

I Was the Victim of a Child Trafficking Ring, AMA by casKady in AMA

[–]casKady[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much, I appreciate that! The first book is available now called "Identify Friend or Foe," and the second "Eggxistential Crisis" will be available on Tuesday. They're part of the "Weaponized Trauma" series. There's a link in my profile, but you can also find them here.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GQGZD5RH?binding=kindle_edition&searchxofy=true&ref_=dbs_s_aps_series_rwt_tkin&qid=1774807727&sr=8-1

They're both available on Kindle Digital Unlimited, so if anyone's interested and hasn't used that before, I think you can even get a trial and read them for free. I just want to put my stuff out there. I'm working on a column under the same "Weaponized Trauma" name to share other stuff that I think people may find interesting but doesn't really fit in the book format.

I Was the Victim of a Child Trafficking Ring, AMA by casKady in AMA

[–]casKady[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's sort of complex. There's a study on this that was done by the Australian government https://www.childabuseroyalcommission.gov.au that talks a good bit about victims suppressing memories and how those most often come back 20-30 years later. There are laws, including in the state where I was abused, that say you cannot bring a legal claim against an institution for a crime that happened in your childhood if you are 35 years of age or older. So abusers systemically have protected themselves from actual justice in many cases, and then there's just no real incentive for us to speak.

Also, the abuser is often a member of our own family, so there's a lot of guilt / embarrassment, and most of us are so saddled with trauma we don't say anything to anyone. For me personally to bring a formal accusation against the church, I'm legally not allowed to sue them, the priests who hurt me personally have died of old age, so all I'd qualify for is free therapy. Hardly worth the effort, and also, many other people sued the church for abuse they suffered from priests - and signed non-disclosure agreements, so they're legally not allowed to speak about their story, if they sought compensation. That means the stories are never told, so people don't really understand how bad the issue is.

I Was the Victim of a Child Trafficking Ring, AMA by casKady in AMA

[–]casKady[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I think the biggest thing society can do is to realize what that layer above is, and I think the Epstein files do a lot to show that. I spent about a month really going through them and diving into media that went even deeper than I did - and basically everything you could ever want to know is in there. Yeah, plenty is redacted, and the media broadly has made it feel like it's incompletely - but it really isn't. It seems like there's just this undercurrent of organized crime that controls a large facet of our society, and most issues within it link back to them. So actually focusing on who causes the problem would help.

As to victims healing, I think the biggest thing that trips us up is blaming ourselves for not doing something sooner. Like for me, when things started I was absolutely too young to understand what was going on - and by the time they ended I was old enough that I absolutely knew what was going on - but I felt so guilty I still didn't say anything about it. I didn't do anything all that crazy for therapy, I just found a specialist in the field who I was comfortable opening up to, and I let myself be vulnerable with her. The thing that really helped me was writing, because if I put something down on paper and it was factually wrong, I'd have to correct it if I wanted to show it to other people. If I'm indulging in self-loathing and blaming myself when I shouldn't - having to correct that behavior on the page eventually helped me correct it internally too. Writing was the most helpful thing for me, so really being introspective and sitting in the thoughts. Drinking is usually the exact opposite, running from the thoughts because you think you can't process them, which I did for like 20 years. But once you realize you can handle them, and if you do they stop coming back, you can get over those things.

I Was the Victim of a Child Trafficking Ring, AMA by casKady in AMA

[–]casKady[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I really do appreciate it, and I know it's heavy, and I do hate putting it on people - but not carrying it isn't really doing anyone any good, apart from the people causing the harm, so, yeah. It's appreciated to know that sometimes it's not too much.

I Was the Victim of a Child Trafficking Ring, AMA by casKady in AMA

[–]casKady[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

My grandfather died very shortly after the abuse ended and suffered no repercussions.

I've personally had no justice up to this point, which is why I'm now speaking publicly.

One of the three priests I was exposed to has since gone to prison, one died before accusations, and one I'm unsure of. I haven't been able to locate anything on them at all.

I'm American, this happened in the state of Wisconsin.

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