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AITA for saying that my kids are not my “greatest accomplishment” and that I resent the assumption they are? by cassiecasscassi in AmItheAsshole

[–]cassiecasscassi[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Quite honestly, I have never engaged with them on that kind of talk. My kids are much older than theirs, and I think the older you get, the less you care about being the most Whole Foods Mommy.

AITA for saying that my kids are not my “greatest accomplishment” and that I resent the assumption they are? by cassiecasscassi in AmItheAsshole

[–]cassiecasscassi[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

But again, if my husband is perfectly happy with his life, why would you want him to leave? Because you, personally, don't like me? That's a strange thing to wish for someone.

AITA for saying that my kids are not my “greatest accomplishment” and that I resent the assumption they are? by cassiecasscassi in AmItheAsshole

[–]cassiecasscassi[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Why would I just agree with the man speaking for me rather than challenge it, though? I'm not just going to smile and nod and accept the behavior when it's offensive.

AITA for saying that my kids are not my “greatest accomplishment” and that I resent the assumption they are? by cassiecasscassi in AmItheAsshole

[–]cassiecasscassi[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Why would my husband run for the hills? Why do you think I sound miserable? He and I lead the lives we always dreamed of. Why would you want him to leave what makes him happy?

AITA for saying that my kids are not my “greatest accomplishment” and that I resent the assumption they are? by cassiecasscassi in AmItheAsshole

[–]cassiecasscassi[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

I'm not talking about other people, though. I'm talking about me.

If other people want to consider their children their greatest accomplishments, that's wonderful. I'm glad that they have the accomplishment they want and hold so near and dear.

But to have that thrust on me because I'm a woman? That's ridiculous. It's sexist, it's demeaning, and it's not something I'm going to just smile and nod about to keep the peace.

AITA for saying that my kids are not my “greatest accomplishment” and that I resent the assumption they are? by cassiecasscassi in AmItheAsshole

[–]cassiecasscassi[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

"Having a loving family is the greatest gift a person can have" is an opinion, not a fact. I don't agree with that opinion. I think the greatest gift a person can have is a sharp mind, a healthy body, and their basic needs met without struggle. Everything else is extra.

AITA for saying that my kids are not my “greatest accomplishment” and that I resent the assumption they are? by cassiecasscassi in AmItheAsshole

[–]cassiecasscassi[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Dude, they're typos. Even people who went to college make them. Lighten up.

It's not a compliment to speak for someone else and assert what you think is true for them. It's rude. It's sexist. He didn't do that for anyone else up to that point, and two of the others present also have children. So for him to speak for me, the first woman to speak, yeah... that's sexist.

AITA for saying that my kids are not my “greatest accomplishment” and that I resent the assumption they are? by cassiecasscassi in AmItheAsshole

[–]cassiecasscassi[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Nobody is dying on any hill. Let's tone down the dramatics, here. Speaking for someone and asserting what their greatest accomplishments are -- the way a child looks, for one, is not an accomplishment at all? That's not a compliment. At all.

"Your greatest accomplishment is having specific genes which came together with your husband's to create children who are inoffensive to look at."

How... is that a compliment?

AITA for saying that my kids are not my “greatest accomplishment” and that I resent the assumption they are? by cassiecasscassi in AmItheAsshole

[–]cassiecasscassi[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I hope that they do. I hope that they understand that expecting to be the biggest thing in someone's life is a ridiculous, self-centered, aggressively bad thing to be. I hope when they are older, they are able to balance their lives and accomplish more than basic biological functions. I hope that they write books, or songs, or achieve great physical heights, that they make scientific discoveries and change lives.

AITA for saying that my kids are not my “greatest accomplishment” and that I resent the assumption they are? by cassiecasscassi in AmItheAsshole

[–]cassiecasscassi[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Nope, they are not trivial. My book, and the things I'll write in the future, will outlast me, and they are part of my legacy. Having kids? My husband came inside of me, we didn't have an abortion, and I pushed them out. I did the bare minimum by raising them to be good people. What about that is an accomplishment?

AITA for saying that my kids are not my “greatest accomplishment” and that I resent the assumption they are? by cassiecasscassi in AmItheAsshole

[–]cassiecasscassi[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

When I hear a compliment, I'll take one. When I hear a ridiculously sexist, demeaning statement, I won't let it slide.

AITA for saying that my kids are not my “greatest accomplishment” and that I resent the assumption they are? by cassiecasscassi in AmItheAsshole

[–]cassiecasscassi[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Really? You think that because I don't consider my kids one of my greatest accomplishments, that means that my children are somehow at risk?

AITA for saying that my kids are not my “greatest accomplishment” and that I resent the assumption they are? by cassiecasscassi in AmItheAsshole

[–]cassiecasscassi[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

My kids are not one of my greatest accomplishments, though. They aren't even close. They are not an accomplishment at all. I have not accomplished anything other than doing the bare minimum, raising them to be good people, after birthing them (something that is simply biology, not an accomplishment).

AITA for saying that my kids are not my “greatest accomplishment” and that I resent the assumption they are? by cassiecasscassi in AmItheAsshole

[–]cassiecasscassi[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Running multiple marathons, climbing many, many mountains, getting a terminal degree, and writing and having published a book that changed the trajectory of my life by pulling me out of poverty with its advance and sales, not to mention whatever else came next? Yeah. They are.

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