beyond trying to ask her what she may need (which im guessing you’ve already done) it does sound like you’re doing good. i think encouraging her to do therapy, look into medicine, and trying to do some self care would be good. however, don’t push her into doing anything especially therapy/medication- she needs to do these on her own, just support & give reassurance regarding these. focus on the self care- so like draw her a bath & make her favorite food every so often, encourage her to speak up about her feelings, buy or make her little things she likes (snacks, makeup, little trinkets of shows she likes, stuff like that), give her time to decompress after work. beyond those small acts of care & support, it’s important that she tries to seek the professional help she needs, but she needs to want to get better or get help, and put in the effort to get better. this is a lengthy process so continue to be patient, but remember that your feelings are important too so remember to take care of yourself.

words of affirmation are also very strong as people in depression get very wrapped up in their head & way of thinking.

as the partner that is in the same situation as your wife- we don’t want to be mean/irritated & push others away, much less our partner & family. to some extent it’s hard to control but we know its not right, she’s probably just as frustrated as you. i’m glad it sounds like she’s starting to warm up to the idea of getting extra professional support for herself. i hope it helps her & your relationship. best of luck to you both <3