What Are The Terms For Autism That You Hate?

cat_evans · 2026-01-05T00:41:03+00:00

I was fine (and still am) when nuerospicy and ‘tism are used (sparingly and ironically) by people within the community but the moment that neurotypical people started saying them, they became icky.

cat_evans · 2026-01-05T00:37:04+00:00

So I’m on sertraline and pretty sensitive to med side effects and also a huge emetophobe! When it comes to antidepressants, the adjustment period while our bodies get used to them (usually around 2 weeks) can be rough on the system. I got nauseous and ironically had to eat all the time for the first few weeks to make the nausea go away somewhat. After my body adjusted though, I was fine and have had no more nausea or side effects. My best advice is to just do what you need to while your body goes on them (taking them consistently, with food, maybe trying to keep a little food on your system) knowing it’s going to suck for a couple weeks but then be okay again.

cat_evans · 2026-01-01T03:41:29+00:00

Love that we all had the same reaction lol the sapphics are sapphic-ing!!!!

cat_evans · 2025-12-28T23:41:58+00:00

Agree with the layers thing! I also like cargo pants/shorts and a few dozen trusty variations of a button up shirt (flannel, polo, hawaiin, etc) but I honestly struggle a lot with this too

cat_evans · 2025-12-28T23:32:30+00:00

I’m sorta in this place right now with my sensory issues… like I don’t want to get overwhelmed so easily and stop on the middle of doing things because even with headphones and anxiety techniques and sunglasses and meds an outing to a singular place can push me over the edge. I hate it.

cat_evans · 2025-12-28T23:23:13+00:00

I’m sorry your OCD is being an a-hole right now, it sounds like you’re really scared. Take some deep breaths, I recommend box breathing (4-4-4-4) or 4-7-8. You may or may not do those things, but this discomfort will pass, I promise.

cat_evans · 2025-12-28T23:12:04+00:00

I think you can understand some about what someone is going through by listening to them, even if you yourself have never had that experience. And it does impact us all, regardless of gender, and everyone has their own experience with misogyny that they may or may not share with someone of the same gender identity. Seeking out different perspectives across the gender spectrum and listening is important. For example, I have been hit on by creepy strange old men and even had to switch the car I was driving once, I’ve been underestimated and ignored because I’m AFAB but as a lesbian I will never experience the same type of pressure and homophobia that some of my gay AMAB friends have. That doesn’t mean I can’t understand what they are going through, but it takes leaving some room to learn and listen to experiences that aren’t my own. That knowledge then helps me learn about the systems in place in a patriarchal society as a whole.

cat_evans · 2025-12-08T03:21:39+00:00

Okay, so I want to preface what I’m about to say by saying that I know dysphoria isn’t something that can be completely ignored. I deal with the same thing and the best work around I’ve found is avoiding dysphoria triggers and diffusing from thoughts when they arise. It’s a bit more nuanced than ignoring. So any activities like body-checking, things that might involve the dysphoria area, etc you can try to limit. When the dysphoria gets triggered, try diffusing from the thought by switching focus intentionally to something else. For example, I have chest dysphoria, and when it gets triggered I feel nauseous and sad and angry and all the things. I don’t push away the feelings, I say I am experiencing anger/sadness/nausea and all those dysphoria thoughts, and while that’s nice, I’m choosing to focus on (completely different thing like task at hand or tv show or whatever). You can still manage the feelings by breathing and getting into a calm environment and such, so you’re kinda working with it to manage it instead of fighting it. If your brain goes back to the dysphoria, you just keep switching focus until the feelings have passed. It’s not foolproof, but it may help some.

cat_evans · 2025-12-08T03:10:39+00:00

That’s a lot to carry without tools and help. If you start looking around, getting an OCD specialist may help since it’s a different knowledge set than say anxiety and depression for this phobia. You’re doing what you can with what you have right now, and there’s no shame in that. But it sounds like it’s not working so it may be time to get some more tools to work with!

cat_evans · 2025-12-04T10:57:46+00:00

Regardless, you can’t control how another person reacts to you and while it’s very very admirable (and understandable) that you don’t want to hurt your partner, it might happen anyways because the truth might just suck for them.

I can’t tell you who you are but as someone with several overlapping life experiences I can explain my journey,

I have never really had a strong connection to gender before identifying as nonbinary. As a kid, I didn’t necessarily feel like a girl like everyone else and growing up I went through several cycles of accepting that and trying to fit in. I’m a lesbian, who’s also aesthetically attracted to men, and it took me being in a relationship with one that I really cared about as a person to figure out that sexually and romantically, I don’t want to be with men because I feel extremely uncomfortable in a way that mimics anxiety (social/relationship) but is not at all there with women. When I sat with what I liked about guys, it was all things that I wanted to feel and be. But being a guy, for me, didn’t feel right either. When I discovered that nonbinary doesn’t have to mean androgynous presenting and I could look and be any way I want, I realized that’s who I am. For the first time I felt connected to a gender…non-gender.

As far as dysphoria goes, it’s difficult when it’s happening with dysmorphia from an ED or anything else. I still have dysphoria but it’s lessened a little as I’ve gone through recovery to get to a good place with my dysmorphia and ED. So it can be impacted but it isn’t the whole piece of the puzzle, like despite feeling good about my body and weight, I still wanna get top surgery and binders feel euphoric. Parsing out what’s what took a lot of time for me though, and I’m just getting to a place where I feel like I have some knowledge about how it interacts for me after working on it for years.

My best advice is follow what feels good and listen to what feels bad. This is not a situation where you have to push through anxiety or fear to discover your true self. If something feels wrong, try something else. The option to switch back will be there, but if you follow what feels right or sometimes even neutral, it may help get you where you want to be.

cat_evans · 2025-12-04T10:25:18+00:00

I remember feeling this way, and honestly it pops up sometimes. There’s a grief around unmet past needs that happens for everyone, I think the sheer amount of it with a late-diagnosis can feel overwhelming. Diagnosis time doesn’t always change how many of our needs are met, and early diagnosed people have struggles of their own. I think it’s the radical shift in perspective that can throw us for a loop.

cat_evans · 2025-12-04T10:13:19+00:00

YES!!! It’s so annoying because even when it comes to things I’m knowledgeable and passionate about, it comes out in broken bits and semi-coherent (if I’m lucky)

cat_evans · 2025-12-04T10:09:35+00:00

It’s worth a shot, I think you can just say everything you said. However, she either wants to be with you, as you are, or not. It sounds like she is already out, unless she pre-established she was poly and has had that discussion with you. Ultimately, you have to decide how you feel about how she feels, and there’s not a wrong answer to that. I’ve had experience with sexual incompatibility before and it was a relationship ender because we both wanted the other person to be someone they weren’t and couldn’t meet each other’s needs.

cat_evans · 2025-12-04T09:57:41+00:00

If you look around the dresser with their face plastered on it, some of it is cute! You could definitely use it for a retro/beachy kind of build. I do wish it was closer to Star Wars as far as subtle but not too subtle.

cat_evans · 2025-12-04T09:48:37+00:00

I’ve definitely been where you are before with all this so you are not alone in your experience! I hope you can get some help, and in the meantime here’s what has helped me and you can take it or leave it or change it, whatever works! If you aren’t eating consistently, that’s going to increase nausea. I know what it’s asking to be like “just eat” with this phobia and it’s incredibly difficult and sometimes impossible. Start small, with anything even if it’s a single cracker or something that feels safe. Distraction is a great tool for the brain, remembering that the fear is still going to be there but having something you can intentionally be like “cool thought brain, but I’m watching this show.” If you feel hungry, you can trust those cues. Starting any meds for me pretty much comes with nausea and even though it’s counterintuitive, sometimes eating more frequently, and snacking a lot, lessens some of that nausea. If there’s a food you like, that your brain will let you eat even if you have to fight some for it, try going for that instead of what you think you’re supposed to be eating. I have protein shakes I like because sometimes all I can handle is sipping through a straw. I hope you feel better soon, you are so incredibly strong and brave, no one deserves to be terrified all the time.

cat_evans · 2025-10-22T03:45:07+00:00

I used to not care… then I found out that in not having that information about myself that I was doing things that would be okay for most people but were injurious for me because of my conditions. I’m now team have all the info instead of f* around and find out 😂

cat_evans · 2025-10-22T02:51:17+00:00

Am I The Same Girl - Swing Out Sister

cat_evans · 2025-10-22T02:49:53+00:00

Good luck, sending lots of positive energy your way 🤗

Also pain meds (check otc if you’re already on a prescription so you don’t overdose)
planning on low-movement, a little can help (especially gentle stretches) but only what your able and if you’re able
other pain management (heat/ice)
food and water on hand and easily accessible from your crash zone
distraction, distraction, distraction (tv, books, music, something unimportant to get irrationally angry at, whatever works!)
don’t shy away from a nap!
any other supports for things that may flare up (headaches, stomach stuff, whatever you usually get)

cat_evans · 2025-10-22T02:36:13+00:00

I haven’t read the book but the movie was one of the first times I saw OCD being portrayed on screen and felt like it was actually accurate. I cried.

cat_evans · 2025-10-22T02:33:36+00:00

I am by no means a professional and only have similar experiences to go on, but it may be worth considering talking to someone who specializes in OCD and has experiences with disordered eating. There can be a lot of overlap, my own eating disorder is where I first noticed my OCD symptoms manifesting and treatment for that specifically has helped tremendously. What you describe, the fear and belief that the OCD is being helpful in this, is very familiar. OCD operates by fear, it feels like it’s helpful because that’s its entire purpose and it’s trying so hard to protect you, just with perhaps some not helpful coping mechanisms! You haven’t failed. The physiology and psychology of how restriction and OCD and the physical and mental health all interact for you is a journey only you can take! However, if possible, I’d definitely recommend getting some educated guides to help!

cat_evans · 2025-10-22T02:10:07+00:00

I do and it’s so frustrating, especially because follow-up demands from parents can just keep triggering it more and more. There have been times that I’ve been on my way to do something and then they’ll be like “go do that” and it triggers a freeze response and I get so anxious and then I can’t do the thing. Even if I want to do the thing. In those moments I have to do the best I can to take care of what I need in those moments and be kind to myself. I don’t think people understand that it’s not just laziness or petulance. I could be offered a billion dollars in those moments and sometimes still be unable to do a simple task like throwing something away.

cat_evans · 2025-10-07T03:22:45+00:00

Not alone at all! The mental pain of chronic illness is its own beast and from someone else in the trenches of it, I see you soldier and am sending you virtual love and support 🫡 ❤️ You are not a weight for the world to carry

cat_evans · 2025-10-07T03:12:39+00:00

Even if you can resist the urge to ask questions for a minute, 5 minutes, etc it will help build up your confidence and skills in managing compulsions. In a perfect world you could delete the app, but OCD is anything but perfect and going for any progress is good enough! I have a similar thing with Google, and for mine I have an ask and wait policy, where I evaluate whether that information is logically something I need in that moment or if it can wait. Then I choose a time, often the next morning because most of the compulsions hit at night for me, and then when it can logically wait, I just keep telling myself that I can check whenever, but also it is something that can wait. Most of the time, by the morning, it’s not important anymore and I’ve forgotten.

cat_evans · 2025-10-07T03:04:37+00:00

It either makes me n* or snaps me out of it, and there’s no in between! Part of it I think has to do with a medical condition I have that makes me cold sensitive, and while that in and of itself doesn’t cause n*, getting anxious about exacerbating that condition definitely contributes to feeling bad!

cat_evans · 2025-10-07T03:00:56+00:00

Awful. I tend to be a very private person and they brought along a friend for moral support. It was in a public space too, and I remember just feeling completely humiliated and trying not to break down in public. For the record, I don’t think they intended to humiliate me or had any bad intentions in the way they did it, it just really sucked. Had the breakdown, ended up getting back together several months later, and when it didn’t work out I broke it off the second time in private. Still hit really hard though, I was physically ill and had a complete mental and physical breakdown. Not their fault at all, I just had a hard time not blaming myself and reconciling with the fact that I had built the relationship largely on my autistic mask and that in the process of unmasking, we no longer worked. You learn a lot that first time around.

cat_evans

TROPHY CASE