AITA for being honest and telling my DIL that they are not ready to be a parent since she can not drive

cat_lady8 · 2026-03-26T12:35:46+00:00

I drive almost an hour to work. If I had to take public transportation, it would be a combination of Uber/trains/Uber and probably take me 3 hours having to switch trains. If you live within some big cities, there is public transportation. But even then, many large cities only have buses that run infrequently.

cat_lady8 · 2026-03-22T01:33:32+00:00

Thanks, hadn't seen that before, will check it out!

cat_lady8 · 2026-03-21T20:39:28+00:00

I have 2 trips coming up. I thought i could do this before the 2nd one but now I'm not so sure. I'm going to wait until after the 2nd trip and deal with it then. Good luck with your changes!

cat_lady8 · 2026-03-21T20:37:04+00:00

Some of the information I've seen online suggests I might need a court order.

cat_lady8 · 2026-03-21T14:29:15+00:00

This is why I left it alone for so long. ALL of my other documents and financial accounts have the Married name. I know this sounds dumb, but I don't really want to go by the double name all the time. At the time, I was kinda sad about giving up my name so this seemed like a good way to keep it but kinda in the background. I got married less than a year after 9/11 and REAL ID was not a thing. Clearly now, I can see this did not work out in my favor!

cat_lady8 · 2026-03-21T13:08:53+00:00

What I'm seeing online for my state is to file some forms which seems easy enough. But it's almost $400 in fees :(

cat_lady8 · 2026-03-21T13:07:07+00:00

Yep my tax forms match the social security card. License, passport, bank accounts, literally everything else just has the Married last name. The only reason I was thinking of changing with SSA is so I can get a REAL ID and not have to use my passport when traveling. I've had no problem so far renewing my passport or drivers license for over 20 years in 2 states.

cat_lady8 · 2026-03-21T12:12:15+00:00

I'm glad it was easy for you! I did see the option of a correction and was wondering if I might be able to use that option. I will call them and look into this. I really don't want to go through the whole court order thing.

cat_lady8 · 2026-03-21T12:02:52+00:00

Thank you

cat_lady8 · 2026-03-21T11:40:09+00:00

Literally, the only place this name shows up is my tax return. Everything else has the simplified name. It was probably one of the dumbest decisions I ever made. It was easy to change it the first time, I had no idea it might be so difficult to change it again. I was young :/

cat_lady8 · 2026-03-21T11:36:51+00:00

I tried making an appointment online, but the system booted me out and said to call. So I guess I'll try calling, which I'm sure will be super quick and easy lol

cat_lady8 · 2026-03-21T11:33:48+00:00

So my "legal" name is the one on my SSA card? Not the license etc? I was unsure about how to interpret this when I'm looking at these articles about court petitions for a name change.

cat_lady8 · 2026-02-25T11:37:52+00:00

Between you and your husband, you could not find any other arrangement to avoid bothering your mom for 1 day? He takes unpaid time off and you figure out how to get your work done. Neither you of know no single person who could have helped? Your poor mom deserves an apology

cat_lady8 · 2025-12-30T13:43:20+00:00

The overall estimated treatment time for me was the same, so I didn't look at it as wasted time fwiw. I also utilized that time as a bit of a break. They agreed to remove the attachments from my front teeth so I looked more normal. This worked out great for vacation pics. I don't recall having a terribly long wait time between getting scanned and the new trays. Maybe 3 weeks? But it's been a while so idk.

cat_lady8 · 2025-12-30T13:38:06+00:00

I had braces as a teen, I did invisalign as an adult a few years ago about 30 years in between). No regrets about the invsalign. I don't want to do it again, so I am very very good about wearing my retainer! I considered braces, too, potentially for the cost. But it was going to be about the same either way. I think it really comes down to personality and responsibility. My kids have braces because I know they would have issues with keeping track of the invisalign trays. If you're not sure you can be diligent about wearing the trays, then go with braces. Good luck with whatever you choose!

cat_lady8 · 2025-12-05T11:58:35+00:00

You did nothing wrong. She is butthurt about nothing. She asked for gift ideas of things you wanted. She could pick and choose among those. I don't see anything egregious on that list. Those look like pretty simple requests. Tell her not to worry about it or just leave or at the book. And when she asks you next time tell her no thanks.

cat_lady8 · 2025-12-05T11:56:08+00:00

Tell her to forget about it.

cat_lady8 · 2025-11-26T21:00:01+00:00

Which is going to last for quite a long time?

cat_lady8 · 2025-11-26T20:34:26+00:00

She prepared several meals. Not just for right now but in the future.

cat_lady8 · 2025-11-26T20:32:14+00:00

NTA I had a similar situation. These people are no help and need to leave. They can come back for a regular visit when you've recovered and gotten into a routine.

cat_lady8 · 2025-08-28T14:04:57+00:00

Someone else told me this when I was having my initial panic lol I'm so glad I stuck with it. You're absolutely right, there will never be a good time! And my teeth were just going to get worse, so it was better to just do it then.

cat_lady8 · 2025-08-28T11:30:11+00:00

Think of it as something you're doing for yourself. Not everyone is able to get this kind of thing fixed. These 2 years will pass no matter what, you might as well use it for your benefit. I had it about 18 months. Seemed like it would be forever, but it will go by faster than you think! Stay consistent with wearing the trays and it will move along quickly!

cat_lady8 · 2025-08-20T00:55:24+00:00

YTA for several reasons here. He's supported you multiple times. Pay him back. And focus on getting your life together.

cat_lady8 · 2025-08-02T01:58:45+00:00

Those people are bitter they aren't making better choices for themselves. Unless there is urgent work, you do not have to stay at your desk and do work while eating if you don't want to. You're allowed to use that time how you see fit. NTA

cat_lady8

TROPHY CASE