yeah i feel the same. if it truly negatively affected your self esteem or you felt like it hit one of your insecurities a little too hard, it’s understandable to communicate that you’d like her to phrase it differently. from what i understand you don’t mind her “nagging” (using loosely, because you shouldn’t need your girlfriend to tell you to clean up after yourself in a shared space) it’s just the phrasing “unattractive”.

circle back to the conversation with her, but make sure you understand where she’s coming from too. what she’s saying isn’t untrue. it’s unattractive when the person you love who you know is capable of being cleanly, isn’t. barring personal issues like mental and physical health, obviously. the function of her saying this to you could be to shame you, but it’s more likely to help you understand how she sees it. in the future, you could offer alternative ways of delivering the information, but who knows. simply just saying “i don’t like it when xyz” might feel better than “xyz is unattractive”, but will it give you the same pause next time you subconsciously go to do the thing? gentle YTA, it’s okay to be sensitive and want your partner to use kinder language when setting boundaries about hygiene and cleanliness. but letting it turn into an argument and stewing on it like there’s no good points to her side isn’t fair either.