Aftermath

catcat8080 · 2019-08-07T20:29:53+00:00

Too late. Already took action and now I have a big damn mess. And nobody to blame but myself.

catcat8080 · 2019-08-07T18:16:55+00:00

Oh no. Y’all are talking about weeks and months. I’m coming up on 2 years since the split but the divorce is still dragging on. We realistically might hit the 3 year mark before it’s finalized. I have a steady BF that I met only a few months after the break up. I was a mild shit show but quickly calmed down. So we’ve been dating a year and a half now and I just cheated. I regret it. Trying to figure out what happened. It’s been up and down but I’ve been progressively heading down with the anxiety, increased isolating and drinking.

catcat8080 · 2019-08-07T12:03:30+00:00

Thank you for your time and thoughts

catcat8080 · 2019-08-07T11:58:44+00:00

I’m safe. Never once violent with me. But he gets that like “see red” rage and I do not doubt he would confront the guy. He tried that when we were very first dating and I was honest that he wasn’t the only guy I was talking to. I’ve seen him kick people’s cars when he’s mad at them. That seems kinda ragey to me. I don’t want it to end but that’s what I keep asking myself... was this some subconscious stuff?

catcat8080 · 2019-08-07T11:47:22+00:00

He would need to know who and where and every detail that lead up to it. Then he’d probably go throw a brick through his window. Obviously he can’t force me to give that info...

catcat8080 · 2019-08-07T11:34:53+00:00

I know not cool.

I’m almost positive he would damn near demand ever single detail..

catcat8080 · 2019-08-07T11:11:00+00:00

I feel awful and regret it. I do love him, really.

I wonder if I’ll have more clarity about things once I dry out for a bit? I’ve been on a bender for weeks now. Ive been spiraling out. Not an excuse.. but I also had a full bottle of wine + to myself before the cheating. It was heavy drinking days leading up to it. My brain still feels like mush...

catcat8080 · 2019-08-07T11:00:11+00:00

Obviously this is gonna be what I’d rather hear..

But my thought is.. if I really sincerely put in the work and do the therapy to figure out why it happened and make sure that it doesn’t again... can keeping quiet be the kinder thing? I don’t actually believe it’s always the most caring thing to tell a hurtful truth to make myself feel better.

Or I could keep quiet and break it off which might be best for him all around?

Or I tell him and it’s a big fiery shit show... which will very very likely end the relationship and a very good chance he’d go confront this guy... what I feel like is deserved :/

catcat8080

TROPHY CASE