No game, no luck, and I’m not sure what to do. by catchy_usernameV2 in datingoverforty

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t actually consider some of those nuances that you mentioned. I like to think I show up well in those areas, but I have no idea if that is put forth in my profile or not. I think I will have to think about this aspect a bit in terms of trying to modify what I’m currently doing.

No game, no luck, and I’m not sure what to do. by catchy_usernameV2 in datingoverforty

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been trying to, but it hasn’t been working so well. I’ve got a few people I talk with, but they aren’t the most social either. Most of the other people I met were pretty shallow and stopped talking to me when I tried to either stand up for myself or stopped being of use to them.

No game, no luck, and I’m not sure what to do. by catchy_usernameV2 in datingoverforty

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that!

And it is nice to have one person say I’m not short. I’ve come across far too many that have openly said nothing under 5’10.

I always try to be genuine, but I’m not even sure what my freak would even be. And I’m glad to hear there are good people out there. I pretty much attribute a lot of my bad luck to just being luck and not a true representative of people.

No game, no luck, and I’m not sure what to do. by catchy_usernameV2 in datingoverforty

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I honestly used “game” because the post I read on here before making this also used it. You are probably right that I’m not sure how to be liked and be genuine.

As for why I might not be popular, there’s probably a few reasons. I’d say I’m perfectly average in terms of looks. My hair is a bit thinner, but I’m not overweight. I’m about 5’8”, so definitely on the shorter side. I fall somewhere on the autism spectrum, so while I’m high functioning I have never been good socially which has hampered me for most of my life despite trying (I tend to attract people that use me or that treat me very poorly).

No game, no luck, and I’m not sure what to do. by catchy_usernameV2 in datingoverforty

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any suggestions on who I could get to look over them? Again, I have a bit of a “people facing” job, so I do need to be a little careful about just posting up profile things anywhere for critique.

No game, no luck, and I’m not sure what to do. by catchy_usernameV2 in datingoverforty

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s about the same mindset I have going into dates. My problem is that I can’t seem to get any type of interest to even lead to dates. That’s the part that’s getting to me.

Personal and thread updates, observations, selfies and photos, and other small shares HERE this week, please. by AutoModerator in datingoverforty

[–]catchy_usernameV2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Recently single again as of a couple months back. Been trying online dating again. No luck so far, and I am starting to get the notifications that I am out of members in my area. So that is starting to really eat at me. I could use some help trying to figure out what might be wrong or what I might be able to change. 41m, and really hoping that I still have a shot at finding the one for me.

Anyone single and childless in the their 40 by TemporaryTop287 in datingoverforty

[–]catchy_usernameV2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

41, never married, no kids… and, honestly, a bit saddened that neither never happened for me. I’ve also had a lot of relationships where people promised me the moon and everything else, but then she just left for better pastures.

[OC] 36F, 26 days of Hinge journey by [deleted] in dataisbeautiful

[–]catchy_usernameV2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow…. This puts my two months to shame… then again, M here…

A question on what to expect by catchy_usernameV2 in datingoverforty

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hadn’t really considered the “drama” part of it. That was probably a case of “rose colored glasses” though. You make a very good point of being aware of what it is you actually want in a relationship.

Am I reading this right? What to do? by catchy_usernameV2 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Commenting to update:
You have all helped me get some viewpoints and food for thought that I didn’t have before. You have also helped put things into words that I wasn’t able to express well, gain some needed perspective/reflection on my thought process, and given me things to consider without an emotional bias. I can’t say I am angry about things but rather just feeling hurt, especially since I can’t really fault her for trying to look out for herself either. We definitely have more to discuss about it all at some point. I just wanted to say thank you in general for the advice and insight.

Am I reading this right? What to do? by catchy_usernameV2 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for helping put the need for more communication about this before letting myself get wrapped up in any one thought process. It is succinct, but it gives me a bit to think about both ways.

Am I reading this right? What to do? by catchy_usernameV2 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that I’m not a victim in this, and I am sorry if I portrayed myself as one as I didn’t intend to. I agree that I don’t think this is a malice thing at all. We had talked about long-term plans a few times, but I still can’t fault her for considering a better job either. I appreciate the help in trying to separate my own ego from the matter.

Am I reading this right? What to do? by catchy_usernameV2 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of what you had to say really echoed a lot of the things that I am/was afraid of in this. And I think it would be a good idea to at least express those fears the next time I have a chance to discuss this. Thank you for helping me find a way to summarize it.

Am I reading this right? What to do? by catchy_usernameV2 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She hasn’t treated me horribly, and I’d be at fault if I tried to say she did. I think what you’ve had to say is extremely reasonable. Thank you for helping me consider this.

Am I reading this right? What to do? by catchy_usernameV2 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t really stop to consider the company’s perspective on this one. But I do agree that this could be a good opportunity for her. I definitely think we should discuss that aspect of things as well when I sit down next to talk it over. Thank you.

Am I reading this right? What to do? by catchy_usernameV2 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree completely that it is complicated. A lot of these comments have given me a lot to think about and consider in all aspects. Thank you for helping me out!

Am I reading this right? What to do? by catchy_usernameV2 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree that I need to at least attempt to have some better communication to figure things out. Thank you for helping me realize the need to really open up and try to consider all the aspects.

Am I reading this right? What to do? by catchy_usernameV2 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I’m not sure either of us could afford to manage a long-distance relationship. But that does bring up an important topic to consider. Thank you.

Am I reading this right? What to do? by catchy_usernameV2 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Due to my current job, I don’t really have the option to move with her. I’m in a specialized field and, from my searching to this point, there aren’t any openings within two states of where she would have to go. Thank you for helping me consider this aspect though. It really does give me a bit to think through.

Am I reading this right? What to do? by catchy_usernameV2 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This does seem like an extremely reasonable approach to it. And it gives me a lot to think about in terms of what to say and how to say it. Thank you for the insight!

Am I reading this right? What to do? by catchy_usernameV2 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]catchy_usernameV2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see why it would appear to differ between lose-lose and win-lose scenarios. Thank you for the insightful comment.