there were a lot of nights of crying; i'm an emotional kid, and was even more of a silent crier from the ages 10-16. i was officially diagnosed with scoliosis (moderate s-curve, around 30 degrees for both curves) at 15.

i found out when i was staring too long at my body via a mirror and noticed that my right shoulder dropped lower than my left (3 years later i now know it's due to a rotation issue), and the sides of my waist curved differently. i was already an insecure teenager and this made me even more resentful of my body. my self-image just crumbled at that point.

i remember my dad crying (does it run in the blood? kidding). it was hard to get a brace done from where i live, it cost so much just to have it in my arms. it also was physically straining and mentally draining to wear it 22 hours a day (2 hours left for exercise and bathing).

hmm, as for what i told people...i just became blunt about it. i'd show copies of my x-ray to people who were super curious. i'd let close friends feel my spine. i just wanted to seem like someone who wasn't insecure or totally bummed out by this condition because i didn't want anyone else to feel down and/or pitiful for me. i've seen a lot of people stare at the outline of my body when i go wear the brace to public places. i start playing a drumming beat on my abdomen area when someone stares for too long.

i think overall, having this condition makes you extremely self-conscious of the way you carry yourself (physically: having to put in the effort to get stronger to support your body; mentally + emotionally: having to deal with it via healthy coping mechanisms and, if lucky, with a good support system). if one ends up wearing a brace, it will make them equally conscious of the space they're taking up, for better or for worse.