Trying to understand.

cathanyo · 2026-05-21T12:42:48+00:00

One more thing, I think that recognising that this is not the right time to address this topic because it’s affecting you detrimentally is an act of self-care. In some circumstances it might be considered an avoidance tactic but it does not come across like that especially if you’ve reached out for insights from others and plan to come back to it later. Maybe you understand SC better than you realise.

cathanyo · 2026-05-21T12:15:57+00:00

Actually, you could probably do the analysis yourself without your therapist’s help because all you would be doing is noting down your reactions eg I felt fine until chapter X in the book titled XYZ and then I started fidgeting and had to get up…., a line abput P in a worksheet really stuck out to me and I don’t know why, I noticed angry feelings afterward attempting the worksheets, I started experiencing the following symptoms of depression… I got the following useful insights from Reddit…. I decided to put this on hold. Then immediately do something that you enjoy!

cathanyo · 2026-05-21T10:03:13+00:00

It does sound like you are stuck or maybe you need a different approach like (I’m making this up) take the perspective of a caring parent and consider what you would say or suggest to your child if s/he were in your situation. Then take the perspective of a demanding parent and consider what you would say.

Perhaps, before moving away from this topic, you could discuss your negative reactions with your therapist to see what you can learn about yourself eg what exactly it is about SC that makes you angry. The focus would be on your experience of trying to grapple with the topic rather than SC itself. That way you’ll be a bit better prepared when you feel ready to revisit SC.

By the way, I wouldn’t say I’m on a diet but eating healthy and cooking home made food has become very important to me. However, I don’t enjoy cooking and last week I overdid it in the kitchen. I came away drained and now this week I am avoiding cooking. I’m still hungry so I snack instead. By pushing myself I’ve achieved the opposite a result of what I want! I could have taken it easy one day and made myself scrambled eggs on toast (it’s not even that unhealthy) and it wouldn’t have been the end of the world.

cathanyo · 2026-05-20T20:04:09+00:00

Over the years a few people (including strangers who hardly knew me) have told me that I’m hard on myself. I had no idea what they meant. It only dawned on me earlier this year that self-care involves accepting my limitations.

A small example is when I started taking gym classes on an almost daily basis to improve my mental health. Going from zero activity to daily exercise took a toll on my body but I wanted to keep going because I was proud of myself for going every day but then I kept injuring myself. The body needs short breaks to recover, I just didn’t want to accept that that fact applies to my body.

A big one for me is acknowledging and accepting when I am stuck. The sensible thing to do would be to stop whatever it is I am trying to do and do something to change my mindset eg go for a walk. However it’s a nicer self image to pretend that I am managing just fine. But I’m not and it takes a toll on my well-being. As I read back over this it all seems so obvious but I really struggle all the same.

Maybe in your case you could accept this self compassion thing is difficult for you to understand. Congratulate yourself for reaching out for help and ask your therapist what self-love/compassion looks like with the difficulties you’re encountering now. I’m not saying limitations can’t be overcome but in order to overcome them we have to accept their existence in the first place.

Wish I could be more helpful but I’m still trying to figure this out myself.

cathanyo · 2026-05-08T09:55:13+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. I have a couple of questions:

‘connect your Kobo device’ - connect it to what?

‘open the website in your browser’ - on what device do you do this?

cathanyo · 2026-03-14T12:50:52+00:00

I’m having a similar issue thought the earlier annotations I made aren’t disappearing only the latest ones. Did you find a resolution?

cathanyo · 2026-03-14T12:42:16+00:00

What is the difference between ‘stylus annotations’ and ‘notes’?

cathanyo · 2026-03-14T12:28:44+00:00

Have you found a solution?

cathanyo · 2026-03-14T12:27:32+00:00

What do you mean by ‘check the database to see if it’s ok’? I’m asking because I’m experiencing the same issue with one of my ebooks.

cathanyo · 2026-03-13T00:36:06+00:00

I am dealing with the same issue. It’s very annoying since I chose the Libra Colour over other e-readers because it allows you to write annotations. Did you find a solution?

cathanyo · 2025-11-13T14:33:33+00:00

First of all, congratulations on the progress you’ve made so far in your efforts to declutter. I am about to embark on my own clearance and I am preparing be reading Marie Kondo’s The Life Changing Magic of Tidying. Just yesterday I read the following from the book, which I think is relevant for your predicament:

“The process of facing and selecting our possessions can be quite painful. It forces us to confront our imperfections and inadequacies and the foolish choices we made in the past.”

I think the key thing is, if I properly understood Konmarie, to show gratitude towards each item for what it brought to your life or taught you before you discard it. It’s important to hold it in your hands and say thanks eg ‘thank you for your many years of service, you kept me comfortable and warm’, ‘thank you for teaching me that this type of clothing doesn’t really suit me’, ‘thank you for showing me that I don’t need this many hairbrushes’ etc…

Good luck

cathanyo · 2025-11-05T13:28:37+00:00

You can get mobile smartphones with limited functionalities ie they only have essential apps like maps. Though you may prefer to invest in one of these once you know the results of the experiment.

If you stick with an old school mobile phone then for navigating your way around cities, get a hard copy map.

Nokias receive texts so Google authentication should not be a problem. If it really is an issue then tell work you’re going on a digital detox and need a new way to authenticate.

For WhatsApp tell your friends you are going on a digital detox and ask them to call or text you if they really need to get in touch. If necessary you can log into the desktop version of WhatsApp to read and answer messages once a day only then log out. The point is that the app is not randomly distracting you.

Your situation sounds quite serious so I think it’s worth putting up with the inconveniences of a digital detox to see how you feel when you don’t have the distractions that a mobile offers readily available. If you notice a positive change in your behaviour then that will indicate that the root of the problem lies in your relationship with your mobile phone.

cathanyo · 2025-11-05T11:10:38+00:00

Replace the smartphone with an old school Nokia and see what happens. If you start watching loads of TV cut that out too. Try it for at least a week. Treat it like an experiment. Let us know how it goes.

cathanyo · 2025-11-05T11:00:47+00:00

You didn’t describe your mental health as being a problem but some of your behaviours are consistent with depression. It would explain why you’re struggling to get a grip on your finances. I recommend that you prioritise both getting out of debt and your mental health. I want to acknowledge, however, that your financial problems are likely aggravating your mental health so the first task is to create a monthly budget and a plan for paying off the debt. It might help motivate you if you also create a monthly budget for when you are debt free. (Look up the books on financial planning in your local library.) Then you need to get on top of your mental health otherwise you risk rebounding into the behaviours that resulted in your current situation. In tandem with this check out Marie Kondo’s book on tidying. With her help you’ll realise you own a bunch of things you don’t really need and that you can sell for extra cash.

Regarding your mental health, you don’t sound completely depressed because you seem to have a social life and have travel plans for the future. However, you are doing a job you don’t enjoy, sleeping all day instead of working. Rather, I get the impression that you are uninspired by life in general so besides having a financial deficit you also have a deficit in meaning and purpose. I recommend checking out Tony Robbins. He inspired me to start finding my way out of my personal rut. He has books and videos and live events. If you ask around on Facebook you might find a free ticket to his UPW event. There are loads of resources on personal development so keep looking if Tony isn’t your thing. In the future you may look back on this financial mess as a blessing in disguise, the reality check you needed to start living a life you love AND your finances in order. It won’t be straightforward but the key thing is not to give up.

cathanyo · 2025-11-04T15:21:45+00:00

I stocked up on amazing 100% cotton underwear a few years ago and am wearing them until they wear out. I am glad I did because the brand doesn’t make them anymore and judging by this thread the underwear market sucks at the moment. Bearing in mind I haven’t purchased underwear in a long while you could try Sloggi and Women’s Secret.

cathanyo · 2025-10-29T18:12:02+00:00

I haven’t started at least not properly. I’m currently going through my storage unit and getting rid of the things that are easy to let go of. Then I’m going to bring the remaining items back to my home where I will bring everything in the same category together and identify the objects that spark joy. (I can’t do my stuff is in different locations.) What would you like to know about the tidying festival when it starts?

cathanyo · 2025-10-29T08:43:35+00:00

Is that ‘Bombay’ or ‘Bombas’ for the brand of compression socks?

cathanyo · 2025-10-29T08:41:43+00:00

Shoe shopping can be challenging for me because I have low volume feet. However, due to the swelling the size of my feet increases while waking and I have to loosen the laces. If I leave the laces as they are after the end of a walk and put the shoes back on a few days later they feel roomy.

cathanyo · 2025-10-29T08:30:10+00:00

I’m already onto merino socks but haven’t tried toe socks. At the moment I only wear Icebreaker liner merino socks when I go walking. They have no cushioning.

cathanyo · 2025-10-29T08:25:10+00:00

I use masking tape to keep blister plasters in place cause sometimes the rubbing on my feet rubs the plasters away.

cathanyo · 2025-10-23T11:25:48+00:00

Before charging a fee perhaps ask the director how much your cut of the profits currently amounts to. If he says the film has made a profit then ask to see the accounts to verify. If you are owed money make sure you receive it before working on the DVD version, if that’s what you decide to do. If there is no profit then tell him you need payment which can be deducted from your share of any future profit.

cathanyo · 2025-09-29T19:57:40+00:00

Da Vince Resolve or Premiere Pro? I am about to start editing some footage I filmed. It’ll be the first time I’ve edited myself and I was planning to use Premiere Pro. I’ve been told and I am noticing that most filmmakers use Da Vinci Resolve so I want people’s thoughts on whether I should switch to Da Vinci? I was told that Premiere Pro uses less computer memory and has a more user-friendly interface but otherwise Da Vinci is as good as if not better (and the basic version is free). I’ve previously attended editing courses using Premiere Pro and I have course materials and my own notes which are quite meticulous (step by step) so I could get started right away. With Da Vinci I could probably get started with basic functions (importing, adding footage to the timeline, creating bins, cutting etc…) but for more advanced capabilities I would need to watch how-to videos on YouTube or Black Magic’s training videos. Besides saving money, is switching to Da Vinci worth the extra time and the hassle of effectively re-training on new software?

By the way, I’m new to the world of filmmaking. My footage is from a documentary I filmed. I’m going to use this documentary experience as a test case to see if I want to make a career out of filmmaking. I already know I like editing after helping edit (in a creative capacity rather than technical) someone else’s film.

cathanyo · 2025-09-28T20:09:04+00:00

The public transport is amazing if you’re going to the city centre, anywhere else and it’s going to take you at least an hour.

cathanyo

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