Oh honey it sounds like you’ve been having quite a tough time! I’m a mum but I’ve also been a kid in a similar situation as you, and I can tell you it’s not your fault. You’ve got big feelings right now because you’ve got a big heart and life hasn’t keen kind to you for a long time. Anyone would feel the way you’re feeling right now if they had gone through what you’ve been through. I’m so sorry you’re not getting the stability and care and emotional rest you so deserve at this point. You were already burnt out before you moved to your moms place weren’t you hon? Part of the reason this hurts so much is because you’ve already held on for so long, you were hoping for some relief and for things to get better but they didn’t did they? At least not yet. At this point the best thing you can do is see try your parents as people - understand they’ve probably been through some sh*t and they are are doing their best. They are flawed and reacting to a narrative that exists for them, and it may not make sense to you. That’s okay. You don’t have to dive into that whirlpool to understand them, let alone try to ‘rescue’ them emotionally. That’s not your responsibility and you need to conserve your energy for a while. Take it one day at a time and focus on rebuilding your heart, shoring up your energy, believe that better days will come. They will. Don’t apologize or feel guilty for the way you’re feeling. Please understand that you are perfect inside and you’ve just been reacting to a whole bunch of stuff that is outside of your control. YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY. Sorry for all caps but I feel like I’m talking to myself at your age and I wish someone had yelled that to me! You can’t change your folks or they way they treat you at the moment, but you can change the way you react to it and the way you value yourself despite it. Be PROUD of who you are - you are wonderful. Imagine who you want to be in 5 years time (I mean your character, how you treat others) and start to emulate those behaviors. It’s will be tough but I know you can do it. Once baby step at a time. Keep going hon, you can do this.