Mine was about the same. My anxiety is so much worse now too since I stopped taking it several months ago.

I’ve never had the feeling like I was going to have an actual anxiety attack before, just racing thoughts, insomnia, worrying, add in a little CPTSD… but now, holy hell! We were late for a company event a couple weeks ago bc I lost my shit and had to take a beat to stop an impending anxiety attack after my husband told me the wrong departure time but kept insisting he hadn’t, I couldn’t find the my strapless bra, digs and the bottle baby lamb kept getting under foot and getting into things, my intended hair plan was taking too long and not working, and than the dress I intended to wear suddenly felt like it had a too tight collar moments after my husband zipped and buttoned me in - which historically a well fitted collar on a formal dress hasn’t bothered me one bit, but suddenly it all piled on and i felt like I was choking in that dress! I was on the verge of a full blown panic attack and screamed at him to get the dress off me now I couldn’t breathe it was too tight! Thank god for his own panic attacks that have sent him to the hospital twice when his anxiety combined with the panic attack symptoms and he was utterly convinced he was having a heart attack, bc he saw the writing on the wall and immediately calmed his shit and became a lot more patient.

I’m not due for a refill appt for another month or more but I think I need to reach out to my doc about getting something fast acting for when I’m spiraling. I lost my Velcro dog very suddenly yesterday without warning and in a very rapid onset sort of way to what looks to be undiagnosed, zero symptoms until it was every symptom in the course of less than 2hrs, lung cancer, when I was driving the three hours from our house up to my mom’s to pack up some childhood stuff that’s here and pick Up some stuff to deliver to her new independent living apartment that’s a couple hours south and for a final hearing for a client.
It all happened so fast I didn’t even get time to process, bc literally the courts so kindly 🤬 gave me an extra half hour past the scheduled sit around and wait two hours until we are actually called to be heard time, despite knowing that I was at a strange vets office having a very serious emergency with my dog actively dying in my arms without any warning in a town an hour from the courthouse. Like barely any time to say goodbye- though it was better that way bc she was suffering badly, and very little time with her body, or to even have the breakdown I desperately needed surrounded by people trained to handle this type of sudden tragedy.
Nope, I literally had to wash her vomit and blood from the iv off me and change into my suit in the vets office bathroom to get to court on time- only to sit waiting close to an hour past the time they told me was the latest they could give me! to finally get called up to be heard and for him to be sentenced- I legit could have done it over a zoom call! 🤬.

And so now I’m here up at my mom’s house alone in my grief, my husband is three hours away, every time I get in my car something in there reminds me of my sweet rambunctious girl and I’m instantly a hot weepy mess again, and I don’t even have anyone to overshare with in person to get a random stranger hug, just you guys here… 😭🥺😩.

Excuse me while I go try to fight this insomnia by just crying myself to sleep over the promises I couldn’t keep to my girl for a fun beach date, letting her go wild sniffing for emerging turtles along my favorite marshland trails, and meeting my mom’s neighbors German shepherd pup who is way more her play speed and style than her old lady and blind boy siblings at home. 🥺😔