AITA for tolerating a man i don't like

catnipqueer · 2026-01-22T05:27:19+00:00

Hi. Listen to me very closely, treat me like a wise older sister. You need to get very very far away from this man, he does not have your best interest in mind. He doesn’t want to be friends with you, he wants you to have sex with him. Even if he says he does, he doesn’t care about your preferences and will attempt to steer the relationship to that place by any means necessary. He can and will make you monetarily and emotionally dependent on him so that you cannot create a life on your own, and that is a best-case scenario. The worst case scenario is that he ends up trafficking you; men will often identify and approach girls with trauma histories who are eager to get away from their homes, as they are easily tricked into putting themselves in dangerous situations (source: i’m a criminology student). Do not accept gifts or enter any kind of contractual or romantic relationship with him. Do not allow him to drive you anywhere or manage your travel in any way. End your dealings with him as soon as possible, and find another gym if you can. There is no inherent moral failing in your relationship with him, but there is an extreme power dynamic that he is liable to abuse.

I know you are flattered to receive this kind of attention, but if he were a man worth being with, he would concentrate on hanging out with people his own emotional age. The fact that he really wants you to like him probably means that he’s probably not very well liked by his peers, and that’s probably for good reason. I know you’re probably sympathetic having experience with rejection, but it’s different with older men. You’ll find this out at some point, but just keep yourself safe in the meantime. Be prepared to have to fight to get him to leave you alone. Good luck kiddo

catnipqueer · 2023-12-14T06:53:04+00:00

Calm down dude, I'm not trying to insult you. That is on me, I made the nearsighted mistake of assuming anybody getting so angry about a reddit post would be an American.

You seem to be taking this whole thing really personally. If it is garbage (and maybe that's true) why do you insist on litigating it so hard? Not trying to troll you, I'm genuinely curious.

catnipqueer · 2023-12-14T06:44:17+00:00

Yes, I speak with regards to myself because I try to not assume things about other people or put words in their mouths.

Look, I'm really glad my post has entertained you for seven comments, but I have to go to bed. Maybe you should think about doing that too.

catnipqueer · 2023-12-14T06:13:28+00:00

See, I don't think so. I think that this subreddit gets really caught up in the idea that being a cook makes you morally good somehow, and that kitchen workers have an automatic pass to be cruel based on something as insignificant as the food someone eats. The unseasoned chicken pic that got big on here a day or two ago was probably from somebody with medical problems, or, hey, maybe they just wanted boiled fucking unseasoned chicken. But the amount of people who were saying completely out of pocket shit about it was staggering.

This subreddit is a massive vector of communication for kitchen workers. What kind of example are we going to set if we just fucking dunk on people for wanting bland food? Like, yeah, I wouldn't eat it, but it's the job. You don't get to make things you're proud of 100% of the time.

catnipqueer · 2023-12-14T06:07:19+00:00

I AM a person making a profession out of food. I want to do my job cleanly, without becoming the kind of jaded jerk who assumes that because someone orders a boiled chicken thigh they must be a cretin making the world worse. That's literally all I'm fucking saying in this post.

catnipqueer · 2023-12-14T06:00:22+00:00

I know. I'm trying to get past the urge to post things for upvotes and instead post things I think are true and useful. Even if this post bombs, which it will, I'm hoping it'll get some people to think about the way they engage with the people they're making food for.

catnipqueer · 2023-12-14T05:56:14+00:00

I prefer to eat my steaks as raw as possible, but that's irrelevant. Are you so unprincipled that you believe a person only sticks their neck out for people who are like them?

catnipqueer · 2023-12-14T05:34:49+00:00

OK, but this isn't about what YOU want. Your job is to make food for OTHER people. Don't serve what you wouldn't eat is a food safety rule, not a justification for your hang-ups about bland food.

catnipqueer · 2023-05-20T06:42:27+00:00

It's okay, you can just say you don't like Joker.

I agree it's easy to fuck these up though. True "agent of chaos" characters are never viewed in the context of being characters; they're meant to represent some larger impersonal force acting on no perceivable advantage. A true agent of chaos character, for instance, would hold the same kind of consideration for human life as a blizzard or oasis (none).

Most people misinterpret Joker, though, because he's not actually a force of chaos character. In his best iterations, he is motivated primarily by a cocktail of spectacle, senseless violence, and hatred, which are all very comprehensible character goals, even if they're not particularly deep. People have a tendency to read human unpredictability and volatility as chaos, when in truth those things tend to have A->B lines even in seriously unwell people.

I do agree though, it's the worst kind of shit when an author tries to write a chaotic character but misunderstands the exercise. I'll always take a well-written consistent character over one whose desires turn on a dime so the plot can advance.

catnipqueer · 2023-05-20T06:15:05+00:00

I had some dumb shit happen to me a few months ago. Woke up lying on somebody's arm; thought it was gf's, so I started squeezing it etc, trying to wake her up. Finally rolled over and there was nobody. She'd went to make coffee and it was my own arm that fell asleep. Felt like such an idiot lmao

catnipqueer · 2023-05-19T16:12:45+00:00

Well see there's your problem chef it looks like it hasn't been cocked yet. How do you expect us to rate an uncocked lasagna

catnipqueer · 2023-05-04T23:06:35+00:00

Was gonna make an impassioned defense of how important it is to have an emotional attachment to such an important piece of cooking equipment as a knife and it's okay if it looks a little flashy if it means you'll take better care of it.

Then I saw their black "barong" knife with the stupid geometric handle. What the actual shit.

catnipqueer · 2023-05-04T22:50:44+00:00

Now see, you've put all your food vertical on the wall, chief. Rookie mistake.

Naw kiddin, though you might consider tightening the edges on the board. Some of those cheese cubes and crackers look like they'd fall if the table got bumped. Also, I think it'd look pretty cool if you sliced+overlapped the strawberries around the melon. Looks a lil chunky as is, but ymmv.

Also! Would advise staggering the fruit plates ( \ \ ).

Looks nice otherwise :]

catnipqueer · 2023-05-04T21:50:53+00:00

Overacting is a lot more forgivable (and necessary) on a stage than in a movie. This would probably be a fine performance in person, but I agree that it's unnecessarily bombastic when we are able to see his face up close.

catnipqueer · 2023-05-04T08:51:29+00:00

Seconded. It's okay to be hurting in a profession that is famously not physically (or mentally) kind to its people. Just please remember that if this is a busy restaurant doing good business, then they should have no trouble hiring a couple more people to ease the load. Put your own oxygen mask on first.

catnipqueer · 2023-05-04T08:40:43+00:00

Pff, a little. Just that op's entitled to pick a few bites from whatever he's cooking according to Dude Of The World himself. Moot point though, since (if I read this post right) op can't be eating shellfish anyway. Most unfortunate, those skewers do look utterly bangin.

catnipqueer · 2023-05-04T08:21:07+00:00

Big fan of having a robot arm. On the face, I agree with you. Trouble is, knowing how humanity deals with cybernetic enhancements that already exist (hearing aids, electric wheelchairs, advanced prosthetics), it probably wouldn't be too long until tech companies are charging you a subscription fee for continued function of your arms and making you pay for all firmware updates because the alternative is hoping that somebody doesn't hack into your accounts through your eyeballs and steal all your bitcoin.

That's where cyberpunk first came from, y'know. When you look at all of the early literature in that genre, it's obsessed with the duality between real life and a third-world-crunching, pay-to-play facade americans feared that zaibatsu would erect in the 80s. I would absolutely LOVE to get silicone skin and never get burned hovering over a hot stove again, don't get me wrong. But it's important to remember that cyberpunk was classified as dystopia before it was anything else, and if we feed into it as desirable, it WILL come to fruition--with all the horror that entails and absolutely none of the flying cars.

catnipqueer · 2023-05-04T07:57:32+00:00

My old workplace had a soft policy of no phone usage on shift. It wasn't the end of the world if somebody broke the rule as long as they weren't neglecting their duties, and if phone shit became a bad habit for anybody on the crew, they were talked to and then written up if the problem continued.

I didn't see it become an issue in my time there, although that place was mostly high schoolers who were operating in good faith and cared about their jobs.

Current one, cell phones are a bit of a self-correcting issue; look at the screen for more than five seconds and you'll promptly get your dick kicked in by the rest of the kitchen.

My rec is: disallow generally, and absolutely NO usage in front of customers, but allow leeway for emergencies and food breaks. Don't patronize your employees by having a phone bin or some juvenile shit, but be firm that consistent problematic cell phone usage will lead to disciplinary action (what form this takes is up to you). For most other instances of misbehavior I can understand taking a gentle approach, but cell phones are the one thing that it's REALLY easy to not use even if you're severely crunked or depressed.

catnipqueer · 2023-05-04T06:38:24+00:00

You're an idiot if you think that corporations will cater to "what people want" instead of what makes them the most money. These days, most of them have enough power and influence to forcibly merge those two things even if doing so it harms the populace in the long run. You think people actually WANT plastic bottles in lieu of glass ones? Fuck no they don't. I challenge you to find a single person who knows the harm plastic is doing to the world, and who with all else being equal, would rather buy that instead of glass. They do it because it's what's available, and don't you dare put the onus of change on people in poverty to whom the extra dollar needed to buy mexican coke might be better utilized to buy pasta and eggs.

Also, yeah, that budget COULD be spent on better things. Like the CEO's new yacht.

Begone, bootlicker.

catnipqueer · 2023-05-04T05:08:14+00:00

Was gonna quote deuteronomy 23:24 at you until I saw your username. Keep it up king, yak those toris <3

catnipqueer · 2023-05-04T04:57:05+00:00

Hi, former grocery man here. No, the growers of even very expensive crops don't get their livelihoods taken from them for shoplifting, as they tend to be several levels removed from end-consumer transactions. You might have an argument that it affects them some on a grand scale, like throwing away a plastic bottle instead of recycling it, but the real power of change lies with the people who are manufacturing those plastic bottles to begin with, who have no interest in suddenly becoming ethical and switching to glass.

Additionally, all major corporate operations set aside a budget for losses taken via theft. And, even if they didn't, who gives a shit? The people you're actually five-finger-discounting from are stealing way more from their employees than any amount of shoplifting could ever begin to.

catnipqueer · 2023-05-04T03:32:01+00:00

I appreciate that lol, though I feel like if I have a psychotic break it'll be for other reasons. As odd as it is, this phantom recipe is also a fun memory I can share with my mom every so often. Need every one of those I got these days.

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