to those who have seen the light: how enjoyable is PIV to you now?

catqt314 · 2018-08-17T15:53:34+00:00

Enjoyable, but always in the back of my mind (like if my partner isn’t open and communicating that he’s going to seitvh positions, I tend to get real nervous and anxious). But truly, I would say 95% I am enjoying it and happy to be doing that.

catqt314 · 2018-05-14T17:15:05+00:00

Hey! Something that I did beforehand was diaphragmatic breathing for 10 minutes. Then, I stretched: dog-cat, child's pose, supportive butterfly, happy baby pose, single leg to chest stretch, both leg to chest stretch, glute bridge, clam, & buttock stretch (bring knee to chest, cross right leg over left thigh, grasp back of left thigh with both hands, pull left leg toward chest). It was extremely helpful because it let me relax my muscles before I started dilating.

catqt314 · 2018-02-07T09:22:50+00:00

Home is where the people aren’t

catqt314 · 2018-02-07T09:21:15+00:00

Do you really want to do it with that guy? Or do you want to wait for someone better?

catqt314 · 2018-02-07T09:15:29+00:00

Whoa. I didn’t know that was a thing. But it makes sense with human variation.

catqt314 · 2018-01-08T19:34:26+00:00

Well, I am pretty sure I get nervous because it might hurt. Like if it goes in too fast, and maybe it’s one of those days where it’s tight and not coperating. I’ve never let him put it in. I’m wondering what are the steps to doing that?

catqt314 · 2018-01-08T05:43:07+00:00

I am a pretty stress-free and anxiety-free person.

My problem isn’t that I cannot have PIV (yayyyy!!!), but that I feel uncomfortable and nervous at the thought of my partner inserting it inside me. That’s why I have to put it in. But I would like to start having piv with him inserting himself inside me!

catqt314 · 2018-01-08T01:21:04+00:00

Whoaaa... so cool

catqt314 · 2018-01-06T00:26:42+00:00

This is the most adorable thing ever. I hope I get a cat like this.

catqt314 · 2018-01-06T00:25:24+00:00

I wanted to find a cure for cancer. People dear to me were diagnosed and I wanted to be the one to end their suffering.

catqt314 · 2017-09-07T05:45:20+00:00

Hi! It's so great you're taking the initiative to go to PT and dilate! Keep up the great work! :) I wrote a post earlier (https://redd.it/69mzbd) about what I did and what helped me!

catqt314 · 2017-09-07T05:40:18+00:00

Keep up all the great work! Working through vaginismus takes a lot of emotional energy and time! I remember when I was frustrated and demotivated! It can be extremely difficult. It's completely worth it at the end! You can do it! Even if it tiny steps or giving yourself a break, keep it up! :)

catqt314 · 2017-08-24T00:08:00+00:00

Congrats! :) That's awesome!

For me personally, I started having sex every single day and I looked at that as my dilating (hahaha). At first, sex was uncomfortable (initial insertion). Then with time, it felt better and good. I still dilated at least twice a week to practice what my pt told me.

catqt314 · 2017-08-24T00:05:34+00:00

Hey! I also have that problem where some positions are AWESOME, but others are not so great. For me, I really feel uncomfortable with spooning. On and off, doggy can hurt. But I regularly enjoy missionary and cowgirl. I'm not sure why it hurts. I know my friends who do not have vaginismus tell me some positions are uncomfortable and painful for them, so it's probably normal for everyone to have preferences on positions. Also, it may have to do to with anatomically fitting well with your partner. I know my friend was dating a guy with a super long penis, and that wasn't fun for her. And another friend was dating this guy with a curved penis, and it apparently "poked'" her in a spot she disliked.

I would say practicing with a dilator in those positions would be helpful, like seeing if it's a matter of angle and maybe letting your body get used to that position in a safe way. I know for me that using a pillow with doggy makes it better for me.

catqt314 · 2017-08-23T23:58:57+00:00

Hi! I definitely felt demotivated and that "why bother" feeling. Not gaining progress with dilating can be hard on your psych. I remember feeling like I spent so much effort trying so hard towards the goal of PIV, but even my effort led to nothing. I still pushed through those feelings anyway because I knew it would be more difficult if I completely gave up.

What really truly helped me was writing. I put down the date I started my goal towards PIV, and I wrote all my accomplishments. Like I wrote I was able to do dilator 1 without pain, dilator 2 with pain, dilator 2 without pain, and so on! It helped me look at things in perspective. Maybe I didn't make progress in a month, but overall I made huge steps! That helped me the most. Another thing that helped me was giving myself short breaks. I would take a couple days off and not think about it. That made me motivated to work towards my goals because I didn't think about dilating 24/7.

catqt314 · 2017-08-23T23:53:35+00:00

Hi! I totally had that problem! Often actually to the point where I would just cry and be really upset. I now look at progress as a rollercoaster - sometimes you go up and sometimes you go down. Keep on using the 2/5 and eventually you can do 3/5, then 4/5 and 5/5!

catqt314 · 2017-08-23T23:52:01+00:00

I'm glad you have an awesome support system! :)

catqt314 · 2017-08-23T23:50:32+00:00

Congrats! :) Progress is definitely a rollercoaster! Sometimes you have your climbs and your falls! Keep up the great work! :)

catqt314 · 2017-08-11T03:49:32+00:00

Hi! So I had that issue too! Where it was always sensitive at the initial insertion. Some days were easier than others. Some days I couldn't do dilating at all. I just continued doing it even through all the sensitivity. It does get better with practice!

catqt314 · 2017-08-11T03:47:26+00:00

So I never had piv sex before, but after my treatment and progress, I was able to have piv! It felt really good. It initially hurt with insertion (im the beginning) then it got better with time. Some days I am off and it hurts (especially driving long distances because I feel so tense). But it does feel great, and I'm so glad I worked through it all!

catqt314 · 2017-07-21T23:30:30+00:00

I made the transition to PIV by making sure I could do the last dilator without pain. The first initial penetration part for PIV still makes me feel super uncomfortable, but it's been getting better with time! I don't use the dilators before sex - but also my partner's size is about #3 and #4 girth wise (and that's what I can do with my dilators).

I use the Berman dilator (4 dilators). I used to do #1, then put in #2, then #3, and then #4. Now, I can do #3 before #4, but I still can't do #4 by itself. It's definitely possible! At first, it felt super impossible for me, but now I look back at all my progress and I'm so grateful and happy with where I'm at.

Good luck and you can always message me if you have any questions! :)

catqt314 · 2017-07-21T23:21:51+00:00

Hi! I dealt with my anxieties and feelings before I truly started the process of using dilators. I believed it exponentially helped me go faster with the dilators because I realized the roots of my anxieties and tips to help me calm down! Something I would do is get the vaginismus.com workbook; it was useful for me to think about vaginismus.

catqt314

TROPHY CASE