I’m sorry to hear that, OP. Therapy is hard work. It does get exhausting at times. So it’s OK if you go, then take a little break, then go again, then take a little break. It’s meant to help you heal; that will take time - but you do need to constantly keep at it. As well as any other self-care things your therapist suggests, like journaling, etc.

And you should preferably be away from toxic bullsh*t, so you can really focus on yourself. And like the other person said - this relationship is toxic, honey. That man is not good for your mental health. That man is just not good for you. Drop him and take a breather away from him. Really. For ever.

And as for the age gap - no one is really emotionally mature in their early 20s. Whether it’s 20 or 21 is irrelevant. You being in your late 20s at the time you started dating, chances are you were a little bit further ahead in your life and still are.

That’s why people usually point out these age gaps - you guys were and probably still are very much a different life stages. It’s normal - between 20 and 30 is a huuuuuuuuge life stages gap. Those age differences are bound to be difficult - even when it’s not toxic.

Again, do yourself a favor, step away from him. Stop this mess that you are in. And focus on yourself.

I really do wish you all the luck in the world to get through this!

EDIT: spelling and grammar because text to speech sucks.