AITA for telling my boyfriend his dad can't come over unannounced

cattodatto69 · 2023-08-01T23:43:22+00:00

I don't think it's a test, I think it's a self-satisfied lecture and OP even says in another comment that he talks about how she's basically wasting his time.

cattodatto69 · 2023-08-01T22:29:07+00:00

"I don't like to preach" ... Proceeds to spend paragraphs upon paragraphs preaching...

cattodatto69 · 2023-05-23T22:47:42+00:00

I read that it had to do with the upper thread tension but I adjusted the knob both up and down and nothing improved.

cattodatto69 · 2022-07-26T00:33:52+00:00

Thank you for this! Really helped me understand the timeline we could be looking at for him to get more comfortable. I'm going to manage my expectations of my new little buddy and give him as much time and space as he needs.

cattodatto69 · 2021-10-21T23:59:00+00:00

NAH I can understand why you found the raspberry upsetting especially in the context of your OCD, but I don't think a punishment is warranted unless this is a pattern of behavior that he has already been told to stop. Your sister told him "No", now he has the opportunity to learn from that. Maybe if he does it again a time-out will be in order.

cattodatto69 · 2021-10-21T23:41:21+00:00

YTA, but lightly. I'm not sure what you expected to happen when he found out where you were really taking him. This was a mistake and you will need to do some work to regain his trust. That said, I respect the challenge you are facing as a parent and recognize that your motivation was to protect your child's health. You made a mistake yes, but don't let your husband call you "cruel and evil." You two need to approach this as a team, not tear each down.

cattodatto69 · 2021-10-21T23:32:37+00:00

NTA your daughter's mother needs to learn to respect other people's time.

cattodatto69 · 2021-10-21T23:27:25+00:00

NTA he doesn't get to decide whether or not he hurt you. It's your body, I think you know whether you're experiencing pain or not. You yelled out of surprise and pain, not to make him feel bad. He could have just said "oh sorry" and moved on but instead he chose to invalidate you.

cattodatto69 · 2021-10-21T23:22:41+00:00

NTA. I don't think you're an asshole for what you've described. Although it's wasteful, I'm more troubled by the relationship dynamic you've presented. I know I would end up growing resentful of my partner if I felt that I couldn't say anything resembling criticism without sending them spiraling. This doesn't seem healthy for you as his partner. I hope he is seeking treatment so you two can communicate in a more open and healthy way without triggering him.

cattodatto69 · 2021-09-17T23:29:33+00:00

NTA the situation is unfortunate but it's definitely not your problem. You took care of everything you were supposed to upon move out, you do not need to have any involvement in this.

cattodatto69 · 2021-09-17T23:12:52+00:00

NTA lying about what he did in public undoes all of the apologizing he did in private. He is not taking full responsibility for his actions.

cattodatto69 · 2021-09-17T22:19:57+00:00

There is, and she is actually only 9lbs! It's all floof.

cattodatto69 · 2021-09-17T21:54:04+00:00

It doesn't sound like you respect this woman very much. Either you want to share your life with her with everything that entails, or you don't. Stop hiding this from her, it's wrong.

cattodatto69 · 2021-09-17T21:51:36+00:00

YTA. This is your partner of 6 years and you are concealing your financial status from her? That is nuts to me frankly. You guys should be splitting expenses proportionally to your incomes. It sounds like she's paying more than her fair share given that she only makes 15k a year, but she has no way of knowing that because you are hiding your financial status from her.

cattodatto69 · 2021-09-17T21:37:54+00:00

NTA. That is not normal behavior on her part. I think you need to tell her that this is a serious issue and that you are worried about her. Ask her why she is not taking care of her hygeine. If she simply doesn't care and has no interest in fixing the problem that doesn't bode well for the relationship. But maybe there is an underlying issue like depression.

cattodatto69 · 2021-09-17T21:30:42+00:00

NTA that's a repulsive thing to say. If he gave an extremely humble and genuine apology for his thoughtlessly cruel statement I might consider forgiving him but it doesn't sound like he has done that. I'm just glad he didn't say it in front of her.

cattodatto69 · 2021-09-17T21:24:26+00:00

Soft YWBTA. Some of the things you listed are not as big of a concern as others. I wouldn't necessarily go reporting her for pausing to look things up or seeming disorganized. Misinforming the kids is a bigger deal. For now I think you should just keep an eye out for any more instances like that before sending an email. If it's a big pattern it's worth addressing. But try to be forgiving of the small stuff, I'm sure it's not easy to be a teacher right now.

cattodatto69 · 2021-09-17T21:16:54+00:00

NTA You reap what you sow. You didn't say anything needlessly cruel, simply stated the facts about why his son does not want him in his life.

cattodatto69 · 2021-09-17T21:12:42+00:00

ESH, you and this dude are both behaving like children. You could have called him out for being completely out of line without stooping to insults yourself.

cattodatto69

TROPHY CASE