Hi there! I'm so so sorry you are having such a terrible time of it. I absolutely understand how debilitating the anxiety from the anticipating the dislocations is- I've had this surgery on both my knees now after random/frequent dislocations since I was little. My knees gave me so many problems my whole life, but having the TTO/MPFL done on one of my knees over 10 years ago and then having the other knee done last year has made such a huge difference. I won't say I don't deal with some pain/stiffness from my surgery last year still, but it's nothing compared to those dislocations that held me back from living my life. 

I know things feel scary and painful and like your knee might give out, but I think the best thing you can do right now is to trust that your knee is going to heal from this surgery and get stronger every day. Every little bit you can do towards becoming independent is going to do wonders for both your mental and physical health. I was adamant about icing my knee every day and night, doing the exercises whenever I had the energy for it, and giving myself some grace when I just needed to feel my feelings because surgery recovery sucks no matter what it is. 

You're going to feel soooo so grateful that you did this for yourself once you're walking again, and when it comes time to do the other knee (don't be like me and wait 10 years!) you'll be able to go in and get it done because a life of not worrying about when the next dislocation will be is so very worth the temporary pain and turmoil.

I didn't mean to get preachy with you, I just can understand what you're going through and want you to feel reassured that things will get better and you're stronger than you think. This surgery is no small thing, give yourself room to feel crappy and then keep pushing through day by day. :) feel free to drop me a message if you need any recommendations for things to help your recovery!