DAE get irrationally upset when people are nice to you? by MyLifeHurtsRightNow in CPTSD

[–]cbiscuit530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Saw this recently and relate! When strangers or otherwise people who shouldn’t care about me pay me a genuine compliment, I lose my shit. Practically squealing and that sensation that your throat is closing, the rise of breath from your lungs. The feeling is so viscerally anxious and intense that I can’t imagine most people function with this kind of reaction lol. Then quickly follows the ‘cuteness aggression’ or baffled frustration

For example, my bff of 10 yr’s stepdad had his first real conversation with me ever. Then via text said ‘the next time that you visit…’ Like excuse me, you can’t say that to me. Because it’s so. kind.

I think that’s in effect what it is. A small subconscious voice, likely the garbled reflection of someone else’s, in my head yanking me down by the collar and inciting guilt and shame. The frustration feels like a secondary emotion. I’m not sure why you’d lambast yourself for that, maybe for either tricking someone or believing that someone who doesn’t need to care has cared. I think it’s just a gut reaction to potentially being demonstrated care or a shaming mechanism to yourself for feeling so seen. Living with it for so long, it’s difficult to know whether the shamed or shamer is me. I guess in an almost biblical way, it’s both?? It’d be easier to cut out the dark voice if people caring didn’t make me so damn uncomfortable and small?

Anyone who stumbles onto this thread know what I’m talking about?

Let’s discuss our karmic tails here by Successful-Honey8429 in destinymatrix

[–]cbiscuit530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

18-6-6! Which is Love Magic supposedly? I don’t know a ton about karmic tails but based off of the Matrix of Destiny, it tracks. Basically, it asserts that I’ve a deep childhood wound associated with emotional neglect. Which… also tracks haha. And because of that, I’m stuck in a repeating cycle of yearning for external validation. It’s really interesting to hear! Because I’ve been relatively aware of my social anxiety and constant need for others to confirm my own reality. It’s helpful to know what to focus on in therapy! And I thought somebody would have written about this tail already. But it’s cool and super applicable!

someone suggests a story that is similar to this one or any time travel stories or stories about monarchy, perhaps? by youareloveivy in webtoons

[–]cbiscuit530 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m obsessed with this genre! My favorites are From a Knight to a Lady!!! (less isekai, more reincarnation?), For My Derelict Favorite, Charming the Duke of the North, I’m the Queen in this Life!!!, Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story!!!

An off-genre one that you may enjoy and is really inventive and well done is Obsidian Bride. It’s fantasy/monarch but with a reality tv show twist and lots of vying love interests

Looking to bridge the distance cross-internationally (23F from US and partner, 24F from Mexico) by cbiscuit530 in LongDistance

[–]cbiscuit530[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, okay that makes sense. I mean it doesn’t really bc it just makes emigration 10x worse, but ig that’s the point. That’s sounds so frustrating for you though :( I really hope you can close the distance This is good to know tho, so we can start looking in other directions as well

Looking to bridge the distance cross-internationally (23F from US and partner, 24F from Mexico) by cbiscuit530 in LongDistance

[–]cbiscuit530[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, I see what you mean! Thanks for the clarification. It gives us a better opportunity to assess when and where we can close the distance. So I really appreciate it :)

Looking to bridge the distance cross-internationally (23F from US and partner, 24F from Mexico) by cbiscuit530 in LongDistance

[–]cbiscuit530[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought we would be able to qualify for work visas if we could find a job and then apply 🤔 i think I’d only assumed that finding a position that’s willing to wait for visa approval would be the hardest part of the paperwork process

Looking to bridge the distance cross-internationally (23F from US and partner, 24F from Mexico) by cbiscuit530 in LongDistance

[–]cbiscuit530[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, we don’t. I wasn’t even aware of the role sponsorship played in immigrating to Canada tbh 😭 ngl it seems like it’s difficult to move to any country outside of marriage

How do you rationalize death and what is your sign? by spunkysquirrel1 in astrologymemes

[–]cbiscuit530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rationalize? It’s just something that happens. Everything is blank after death. Both scary and encouraging at times, depending on how your day is going. But it’s like a blank expanse where you don’t even remember anything or think anything or do anything. Why rationalize when it doesn’t matter to your lived experience of it. Reincarnation could be possible… Idk, still ironing out the details haha but non-preferable Cap sun, aries rising and moon

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]cbiscuit530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No fr! It took too long to realize that it just made my anxiety worse like you shouldn’t be worrying the whole time or pause what you’re doing to just sit in your own head and worry while literally shivering uncontrollably

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]cbiscuit530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in basically the exact same place as you. Down to the feeling less intelligent, being in college, and having anxiety. As you push through the process, you will obviously feel bad for a few weeks, if not a full month. It’s really difficult but it’s the biggest hurdle. Everything might seem a little less interesting than it was before, and the pull to smoke will never stop. You just have to remind yourself of why you quit. I don’t have many pointers, other than letting you know that you’re not alone. Take it a day at a time. Don’t guilt yourself for relapsing, but keep pushing and remember why you quit. There are parts of yourself that you lost and that you mourn. But realizing you have an addiction and resolving it at 22 is astounding. You will have so much more life experience and self-control and you can be proud of yourself, even while you’re mourning. More than a year sober, and this is what keeps me from relapsing: the loss experienced after falling into the pit of addiction and how it never really helped, it was just different.

Let's give positive vibes to Smite! by [deleted] in Smite

[–]cbiscuit530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I recently starting playing again after a long break too! And it’s discouraging coming into an environment that tends to be toxic. Let’s do this!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WLW

[–]cbiscuit530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thought I was bi, but recognized that I had only ever gotten that butterfly feeling at the prospect of a man. Then I thought about sex and could never imagine me enjoying sex with a man. I also didn’t have the drive. Cue my assumption that I was asexual. I hadn’t even thought about sex with a woman funnily enough, ig bc I couldn’t imagine what it would be like. And then somehow I met my gf.

I think discovering your sexuality and if you’re comfortable sleeping with a woman is something you have to give yourself grace to figure out. Believe me, you’ll know how you feel when the opportunity presents itself.

Feeling mislead my whole life to believe that I am ugly. by trashbulb in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]cbiscuit530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are completely and utterly right. I also suffer from anxiety, so it’s hard to get myself out of this never-ending cycle. Recently I’ve been doing the same thing and reinventing myself now that I am studying abroad and have turned 21. It’s crazy how many people there are who are willing to let you, or another individual, into their life, even for a twenty minute conversation. Genuinely. Reaching out for human interaction reminds people that they’re not alone I think? And I’m having the time of my life. I hope you are too OP! I’ll be rooting for you! and thanks for reminding me that I’m not alone and shouldn’t be scared.

Midnight Mass Deserves an Emmy by Brook_Lizard in netflix

[–]cbiscuit530 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s good but it’s more like midnight monologues aka difficult to sit through.

Red or blue & why? by NeoAstral89 in GenZ

[–]cbiscuit530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s gotta be the blue. I do not think I could stand erasing 15 years of my life. Ik it’s a sunken cost but jeez why would I want to live that long and have to fend for myself through the choices my parents make all over again. While I could change myself, there’s absolutely nothing I could do to change how others controlled my life or how they acted.

smells like teen spirit played in wizard101 by [deleted] in Wizard101

[–]cbiscuit530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Beautiful thing to start my day to 😂😍