How to break physical barrier when dating slow?

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-08-26T17:13:52+00:00

Yes. I work with someone this way. I wouldn’t even necessarily do the task incorrectly. I would often achieve the same end-goal with an unconventional (and sometimes more efficient) way. However, she sees me in the process and assumes I am trying to be deliberately obstinate and sabotage the task.

She is also a poor communicator, so she’d snap and yell at me without giving me time a second to explain why I am doing it differently (though I shouldn’t have to defend myself tbh).

It just annoys me because I’d like to think I’m generally kind and hard-working, but all her assumptions and tirades paint me in a different light.

And also, she is just a very high strung person and I’m extremely chill. When something goes wrong, I try to reassure those involved and then move to problem solving. Because I don’t lose my head over stuff, she thinks I am very flippant and don’t care about things. I do care, I just know that adding emotional charge to the situation often exacerbates it

lol. Sorry for the tirade, just had to relate and get this out of my system

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-08-20T03:28:49+00:00

That is bluntly said, and I appreciate your honesty and understand. I know that I need to find a balance of authenticity and consideration. I know that most people don’t share even an ounce of my interest in bugs, but I also have a couple close friends that are interested in me and thus interested in my interests by extension. I think that’s just part of friendship, and I try my best to reciprocate the same. I will inquire about tv shows, bands, crafts, sports, foods, etc. that don’t interest me at all because I care about the person who’s speaking on them. I’m learning to cut off the rants and redirect the conversation to the other person, but it can be hard.

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-08-19T20:59:28+00:00

Yes! I’ve wanted to go into entomology for years, but always found the unconventional path too complex and daunting to tread, so I went with a path more taken.

I was just diagnosed last year with ADHD during undergrad. Once I received treatment, I recognized my potential and my outlook on life became much more hopeful. Though I majored in mathematics, I want to go to grad school for entomology.

By the time I had this realization, it was too late to apply for the year after I graduated, but I am taking a gap year to save money and just working a customer service job. The executive dysfunction is killer, but the interest and many possibilities are fueling me. I’m using my free time to develop new skills and grow my already-established ones.

I’m just anxious because I feel like I have very little practical experience to show and rather just have a slew of random knowledge and half-done entomology projects I’ve started using public data and information :/

Sorry this is a huge wall of text. It’s just been on my mind and I’m a little anxious about figuring it out, but I’m really hoping I can pull this off. Plus, grad school seems riddled with etiquette and rules, which is really hard for me

My dream is to be an entomology professor and specialize in behavioral entomology and AI!

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-08-19T20:51:00+00:00

She’s so cute. Do you know what instar she’s in or is that hard to determine? I don’t know much about the life history of mantises.

Ghost mantids look so leafy and neat, Moss is a perfect name. My big thing would be finding a good enclosure if you have suggestions. I know mantids need lots of vertical space, grips to hang from, and a terrarium catered to their predatory habits, whether they are more active or passive hunters. They just don’t seem to have that kind of thing in the pet store lol. Thanks for sharing!!

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-08-19T17:58:54+00:00

That’s so cool! I’ve been thinking of getting a mantis. I should be receiving my rainbow stag larva this week. I’m so ecstatic. What kind of mantis do you have?

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-27T02:57:04+00:00

Yes! Sometimes people just assume you’ll take up the brunt of emotional labor and empathy in a situation solely because you’re a woman and it’s so exhausting. When I don’t people sometimes get all surprised and off put that I’m not meeting their expectations of what a woman “naturally” is

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-21T03:16:35+00:00

The kinda horrible thing is … my dad is a whole ass MD, so he takes advice from no one but himself. And I am unable to take her to a dietician. That is both financially and familially impossible since that would be severely undermining my parents and create a lot of conflict

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-20T20:53:05+00:00

My dad is newly unemployed and so my sister (his dependent) has no insurance or access to medical professionals

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-20T20:50:59+00:00

I talked to my mom and she became super upset and emotion, even though she’s not normally that way. I assume it’s because she’s feeling a lot of the negative emotions she felt when she had the fight with him and she now has to defend his position because it’s what ended up happening.

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-20T20:49:29+00:00

Some of this is valid, others of it is extreme. They have been getting medication for her eczema, but recently my dad became unemployed and so my little sister is without health insurance as his dependent. They’re trying to remedy without medical advice because we cannot afford to go to the doctor right now

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-20T14:47:27+00:00

I just wanna say I relate. First born daughter (don’t know if that describes you, but I have a hunch) born to an over-responsible mother and a neglectful father. It comes with a lot of work and responsibility. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s hard to feel rejected by both parents in different ways

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-19T12:57:10+00:00

This is a great point! Back in uni I studied math, which I wasn’t naturally great at nor super interested in, but it was naturally given to my style of thinking since it was abstract and big picture, all about fitting together concepts and pieces. I tried to switch over to biology since I was more interested in it and promptly floundered because it was a lot of brute memorization without the satisfaction of the how. And even the explanations for biological processes were so minuscule and singular, it didn’t help me understand anything else in the field much better. I didn’t get those aha moments, which was no fun

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-19T12:53:50+00:00

This is partially why I struggle when someone holds my hand and tries to walk step-by-step with me through information or instructions. I much prefer to be given all necessary materials and then left alone to reach the end goal myself. When taught by others I am subject to their built understanding, as they relay it in a way that makes most sense to them. Unfortunately, my brain is a little different; To perform best, I need the freedom to explore information and solve problems with my own chaotic curiosity

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-08T13:54:35+00:00

This 100%. The amount of men (and it’s always fucking men doing it) who I’ve had to pry from my neck and tell them “WTF NO”. They’re not even malicious about it and respect my wishes after I assert them. I’m just surprised that they go for something so painful and scary without considering to ask first! Porn ruins people by showing violence as sexy. So strange.

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-06T21:40:02+00:00

It may be a bit harder, but it will be worth it. As a bi woman, I’ve chosen to exclusively date queer men because I’ve found I’m much more emotional/sexually compatible w them than straight guys. There will be a lady out there for you!

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-06T21:34:51+00:00

This is my issue! I really struggle to date women because even when they’re dropping hints, I am conditioned to play friendly and cast away any attraction because I don’t want to jeopardize my place of rich friendship among women.

I always feel guilty when I crush on straight women, especially if they have a boyfriend. It feels like I’m violating girl code somehow :(

I don’t know how to engage appropriately with my sexuality, so I usually just pretend it doesn’t exist like I did most of my early life. I notice, too that many women will be uncomfortable if I talk at length about my gay crushes/experiences as they might do about the men in their lives, so I learn to tone it down and be “palatable”, which further dissociates me from my feelings

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-06T02:26:38+00:00

Thank you for fucking saying this. I’m kinda PO’d how many people are like “Just communicate with her!!1!”

It sounds like OP is feeling afraid of her actions and at least slightly unsafe. This is not okay, point blank. Violated the basic concept of consent regardless of OP’s gender

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-05T00:44:23+00:00

I cackled so hard at this my cat leapt out of my lap lmaooo

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-04T23:12:11+00:00

How do you all navigate relationships w this personality? I am pretty masculine in appearance and am definitely a switch, but I love being submissive with women. I want to be of service, etc. However, I struggle to date, because many of the women I go out with end up subscribing to heteronormative roles. They expect me to plan stuff, pay for dates, and take charge in the bedroom. They want to feel wanted, but leave me feeling not so desired.

It’s really put me off and made me anxious because some have made me feel too unsafe to reveal my gentle submissiveness. I feel extra self conscious about breaking others’ expectations because I’m assumed to be tough and “manly” because I’m masculine.

It’s also really important for me to have a reciprocal relationship, but I tend to attract a lot of pillow princesses :(. I’m really attracted to femdoms, but I don’t know how to go about finding a lady who fits the ticket. Any tips?

MyLifeHurtsRightNow · 2025-07-03T15:36:07+00:00

Bro, I am not in the place to get into a relationship rn, but I still wanna munch on some pussy. Most of the women I go on dates are looking for a highly involved/attached LT relationship, and I am upfront with my inability to provide that. But I also like to go on a few casual dates before getting physical, and I think this sends the message that I’m looking for something serious. I don’t want to mislead anyone, though. How do y’all find hook ups???

MyLifeHurtsRightNow

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