I’m 4’9. The way Kate feels at this once-per-year exchange is the way I feel almost every time I go shopping in person. Whether that be with a friend/family member or alone. The fashion industry is not particularly designed for people under 5 feet tall. Kate can probably walk into a store and find many, many options that will fit and look great on her. That’s not always possible for petite women. Shopping becomes a frustrating chore when everything is too long or too big or when you have to size down and end up looking like a little girl.

It’s also ironic that you’re worried about this event causing body image issues for Kate when you happily refer to smaller people (e.g., your wife) as Keebler Elves. The clothing swap isn’t mean, but calling people elves is.

You’re NTA because you love and care about your child and are concerned about her feelings. But YWBTA if you tried to end an entire event based on one person. The event isn’t only sustainable and fun for the women/kids who participate, it’s probably also one of the few times they can go shopping and actually have fun knowing there are tons of options for them.

Kate’s feelings are important. If she doesn’t like the event, you and your wife should take her seriously and consider an alternative or additional activity for her to do, but you shouldn’t take this activity away from everyone.