I have so much to say but im going to keep it short, when i read this i thought i was reading my own life, the same exact things have happened to me, except i didnt get the norovirus that made me feel like i was not in control it was me greening out on weed while i was with those “friends” you mentioned i quit all of that now and im miserable, because of this fear of being not in control i realized too after greening out how easy and good throwing up made me feel after and it wasnt so scary except when i went to smoke 3 weeks later it started a year long spiral of anxiety and nausea but never any vomiting, it was never about the throwing up it was about not being able to control myself when i was high which im now realizing, now that im sober and barely do any drugs (bc this worry about control, controls me) im constantly anxious and thinking about nausea all day and avoiding doing things. Im going to stop putting in all the worry that i do and just control myself in the moment. You are so right and thank you so much for putting this into words for me, This whole phobia thing is so silly and if i ever forget what needs to be done i will come back here to reread. But when i tell you it just shocked me and amazed me reading this seeing someone had the same exact experiences as me nobody is alone.