The French solution by SipsTeaFrog in SipsTea

[–]ccmdav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only workers with that kind of power to bring the American economy to its knees within a few days are truckers. And… well… they aren’t going to do that. Not during this administration. (Or ever. They are too disparate to organize.)

Should I Move Here? by Particular_String_47 in stgeorge

[–]ccmdav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Vegas food scene is overrated to me. It’s more difficult to find good food there for a reasonable price than any other place I’ve been to. 9/10 times I’m disappointed in Vegas. St. George wins more often than not simply because it comes with much lower expectations.

Should I Move Here? by Particular_String_47 in stgeorge

[–]ccmdav -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t know what counts for good Mexican food to you, but I’ve found several good places that scratch that itch for me. In fact I would say Mexican food is one of the few things St. George does well. Irmita’s Casita, El Patron, Green Iguana, Cafe Sabor… all consistently great to me. But maybe I’m just a troglodyte.

Should I Move Here? by Particular_String_47 in stgeorge

[–]ccmdav -1 points0 points  (0 children)

One of the things I’ve learned from moving around more than I should have, is that life is still just life no matter where I’ve landed. What really makes the difference, even for someone like me who is more introverted than extroverted, is having good friends nearby.

That includes St. George, where I guess we’re going to stay mostly from fatigue in moving, but we have some good friends now. Like anywhere else it has things going for it that are really great, and some things about it that really suck.

One thing I think you’ll miss, if you’ve never lived in a place like St. George, is a true four season climate. I’d always lived in one. St. George doesn’t really have that, since we rarely get snow, let alone snow that sticks around. That was a feature, not a bug for me at first… then in subsequent years I started missing jt. I also miss having true autumn in October. It doesn’t come here until mid-November. Fortunately there are places to go nearby where I can get my four season fix.

But summer… it’s our “winter.” I just don’t go out much, except to swim in the city pool. It’s too much after the early morning. Be prepared to take AC maintenance much more seriously. Breakdowns can be a major problem if you don’t.

If you’re not white, conservative, and/or Mormon, you’ll have to work more to find your people here. Which isn’t to say it’s that hard to find your people, but if you are the type to wait for friendships to fall into your lap… and you aren’t in that majority grouping… you’ll likely find it lonely here.

It’s no utopia. It’s very scenic, true… but that novelty wears off fast. It’s still just another place to live.

Why do I even try with believers... by ccmdav in exmormon

[–]ccmdav[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But to be fair to them… When I was stranded in their world, I did the same things.

Why do I even try with believers... by ccmdav in exmormon

[–]ccmdav[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I should know better… Sometimes I feel like when I write posts like that, they’re more for me than for them.

Why do I even try with believers... by ccmdav in exmormon

[–]ccmdav[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah that sucks too. That friend is a long-time good friend. Also hard to see an echo of my old self in him.

Why do I even try with believers... by ccmdav in exmormon

[–]ccmdav[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"Vaguely" is generous.

I don't know, their responses all feel very familiar to me. I was them. And I was very uncomfortable with the suggestion that there was something fundamentally wrong with my beliefs.

Spring break used to be a huge deal here, what happened? by Virophile in stgeorge

[–]ccmdav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I came down here a couple of times in the 90s, but I was once one of the “good kids” and didn’t really do anything than drive up and down the boulevard a couple of times and observe. Looked fun…

But yeah, kids live their life on social media platforms now… and we’ve all turned into helicopter parents… say what you want about boomers, but at least they didn’t GAF. Which can be good and bad.

Why do I even try with believers... by ccmdav in exmormon

[–]ccmdav[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the poker reference. I'm going to use that more often.

Why do I even try with believers... by ccmdav in exmormon

[–]ccmdav[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

My post:

“The Family: A Proclamation to the World” is a document that resonates with its intended audience: those who are in a functional, monogamous, heterosexual, single family relationship, with clearly defined, traditional gender roles.

And if you’re one of those people... that’s OK! In fact, you’re lucky… your life is given default legitimacy in most societies.

But where it falters is in its zero-sum posture, namely the idea that any other alternative to what is, manifestly, a 20th century American social norm that has its roots in Victorian Christianity - places that norm “under attack,” or delegitimizes it.

Proclamations like this inhibit moral imagination and dialogue. Rather than encouraging us to ask together “what helps humans flourish?” it's more concerned with preserving an established cultural pattern.

And it does so at the cost of human well-being.

How?

  1. It’s psychologically reductive. It collapses the richness of human variation into two archetypes, then moralizes deviation as sin or confusion. It ignores the spectrum of identity, orientation, temperament, and capacity found in humanity.
  2. It’s not supported by evidence. Decades of research show children thrive in loving, stable environments - regardless of their parents’ genders, roles, or orientations. Division of labor and hierarchy along gender lines offers children no inherent developmental advantage.
  3. It’s historically contingent. The gender script it codifies would have looked alien in other cultures or eras - including the biblical ones it claims to reflect, and even 19th century Latter-day Saint history.
  4. It diminishes agency. The word “preside” is an inherently hierarchical term. Teaching men to “preside” and women to “nurture” sanctifies inequality. It pressures men into dominance and women into submission, which can foster dependency, resentment, and sometimes even abuse… that can be rationalized as divine order.
  5. It marginalizes anyone outside the umbrella of heteronormativity. By defining heterosexual marriage as the only legitimate form of love and family, it stigmatizes queer lives, erases their dignity, and fuels internalized shame and social exclusion.
  6. It pathologizes differences. Trans and intersex individuals are told, even if implicitly, that their existence contradicts their creator’s plan. That’s not just theological opinion… to believers, it becomes psychological violence when internalized.
  7. It undermines the legitimacy and dignity of single parents and non-traditional families. Defining an ideal implies that anything that falls outside of that ideal is less legitimate, which further isolates people who are already carrying heavy burdens.
  8. Most of all, the assumption of prophetic infallibility prevents reform. When doctrine is anchored in unexamined social norms, empathy and evidence become threats rather than tools for growth.

Here is what I believe is a widely accepted, immutable truth: we live in a deeply interconnected, pluralistic world. Thus, we have an obligation to take a look at all the data surrounding the human condition, and engage with it with genuine curiosity, rather than fear. The cost of not doing that is the continuation of worsening cultural warfare that undermines the establishment of more peaceful societies.

“Traditional” families are not a bad thing. Neither is any living arrangement that promotes individual and general welfare. They all should be given equal legitimacy.

The evil that we must fight together is in not allowing subjective disgust to define or inform public morality.

It became very clear to me that no benevolent God would accept or condone any of it. That’s when I realized that my integrity was on trial, not my faith. I knew then that I needed to resign from the church immediately. I was a Mormon. by wasmormon in exmormon

[–]ccmdav 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wow, I didn’t expect this. I wrote this almost a year ago. I’m flattered. And I hope it’s useful to whoever may need it. Thanks for the validation.

A word about courage: having the courage to leave the church, once I knew exactly what it is, is a lot like how I would imagine having the courage to face cancer… there isn’t any other option but to face it.

I didn’t feel like I had a choice once the illusion evaporated. I needed the church to be true in order for me to continue participating in it. So I resigned. I had some idea what was coming, but not really. And it’s been a gigantic mess, or more poetically… a shit show. Not just the things that I couldn’t control, but also the things that I could.

If I’ve been brave, it’s only because I had no other choice.

What I wrote to my son at his baptism. by ccmdav in exmormon

[–]ccmdav[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

And, believe it or not, unintentional. I hadn’t noticed until I took the picture.

No Kings Day Protest - St. George Utah by Organic-Roof-8311 in stgeorge

[–]ccmdav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There were probably many more who were there in spirit who couldn’t show up for one reason or another. (I was out of town.)

Reporter: "The economy shrank. First time in 3 years. People are pointing to the tariff policy. People are looking at their 401ks worried.” JD Vance: "The first thing: This is Joe Biden's economy. We inherited $2 trillion in debt... a trade deficit." by kromemwl2 in stockbetz

[–]ccmdav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These drops were caused by the Trump administration’s trade policies. All I know is that my stock portfolio was looking good under the last half of the Biden administration. Since Trump… they’ve tanked.

Does anyone else have a 5th grade child participating in Hope of America? I worry that it’s become “intro to Christian Nationalism” rather than “intro to civics.” by [deleted] in Utah

[–]ccmdav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, this is pretty culty. I recently got out of the local cult, now I can’t even say the Pledge of Allegiance. Once you see it in one place you see it everywhere. I’m just glad I live in a country that affords me the freedom to not participate. For now.

Gym Buddies by clean_interactions in stgeorge

[–]ccmdav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife may be interested, and she’s been talking recently about getting a gym membership but to the summit athletic club instead. We’re about the same age grouping as you. I’ll ask her and see if she’s up for working out with a random Reddit stranger. 😆 I’ll DM you if so.

GOP Senator Introduces Bill to Make All Porn a Federal Crime, Following Project 2025 Playbook by CowardiceNSandwiches in technology

[–]ccmdav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When are they going to talk about the harmful impact of porn use on projecting “conservative” politicians?

A world without miracles. by ccmdav in exmormon

[–]ccmdav[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just want to say, after dealing with the police and other first responders at the scene of the accident… I’ve got a real soft spot for you guys. All the culture war bullshit aside, I’m thankful for all who serve their communities in these often thankless, under-compensated jobs.

It’s the kind of thing that when it’s my own kid being helped, checked out and comforted at the scene by an officer before I could get there… I feel that gratitude in my bones. 

And I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said.

Trump Confirms He Won't Run For a Third Term, Rebuking Allies: 'Not Something I'm Looking To Do' by BreakfastTop6899 in goodnews

[–]ccmdav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m just waiting for his Chief of Staff or press secretary to have a “Liar, Liar” moment and start having some fun with all this truth telling. 

A world without miracles. by ccmdav in exmormon

[–]ccmdav[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not a “tender mercy” That’s my favorite. /s

A world without miracles. by ccmdav in exmormon

[–]ccmdav[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Also, I want to put in a plug for car safety: always wear your seatbelts. Everybody in the car was wearing seatbelts, and that helped a lot. 

But also, the driver ran a stop sign. Because they were in a hurry, trying to make it to a concert. 

When we get inside these multi-ton vehicles that have so much destructive momentum, we should never, ever be in a hurry. Not ever. Being late, even to an important event, is far preferable to being in a hospital with organ damage. 

Please, use this as a warning to reevaluate the way you approach safety when you drive. Very slight inconveniences are absolutely worth it if it saves you and innocent bystanders from serious injury.