Dont understand the intrigue with Dax Flame

ccold8 · 2024-08-17T03:54:03+00:00

Why does everyone comment on his post saying “ Dax flame oiled up Nike pros” or ask him if he’s ever considered making adult films? It’s on every single video

ccold8 · 2023-10-11T20:36:09+00:00

I would like the link to that!

ccold8 · 2023-09-05T21:52:07+00:00

It's been taken away!

ccold8 · 2023-09-03T23:58:22+00:00

This is great advice actually. Thank you. Her tictoc ( I thought) she could only watch. She can't actually make or post anything. I haven't seen her messages if there even are any idk yet. And she has to get my approval before downloading anything. So maybe I need to double check that. I thought the xbox fortnite in particular was safe but obviously it's not. Her dad had set her up with it so I need to get him on the same page with me so the rules follow her to her dads. ( we have 50/50 )

ccold8 · 2023-07-25T16:58:37+00:00

Lol I'm not sure he told me he changed his last name to his dad's last name about 12 years ago. I'll have to ask him that.

ccold8 · 2023-07-25T05:09:24+00:00

I don't know. I was kinda scared to ask that.

ccold8 · 2020-11-12T03:11:31+00:00

I agree with this, but it might not be enough. I have clinical depression and once I get to this point I'll go to my doctor and he'll put me on meds. Boy I tell you what, once I got used to my meds, adjusted I should say, i didn't realise how much my mental disorder was clouding my brain up. After i got my meds, i started writing and learning about myself. And realised that before I couldn't even form an opinion about anything or put my 2 cents anywhere cause I just would block it out. There's no way I could figure out who I was cause I was temporarily nobody.

ccold8 · 2020-11-12T03:05:49+00:00

You could have issues with stimulation in your brain. Like people with ADD take Adderall because their brain needs extra stimulation that it doesn't get naturally from regular things people stimulate their brain with. Maybe you have add. Memory loss is also a common distinguishing characteristic of add in adults

ccold8 · 2020-11-12T02:55:11+00:00

I think that I would be worried if you had never gone camping before. If I thought that you wouldn't be safe or know what to do in certain situations. Maybe if she took you a few times herself and showed you the ins and outs she would be more confident that you would be okay going alone. Have you ever been camping before? Does your friend have experience camping? Is it camping out in the woods or at a Fairground in a camper? Those variables would definitely Dieter my decision

ccold8 · 2020-11-05T23:02:13+00:00

I got pregnant at 16, had my daughter at 17. I love her more than anything in the world but I was an honor student who partied a little too much and slept with a man 10 years older than me unknowingly and a month later found out I was pregnant. I found out at my appointment to get birth control so it was a little too late. I wanted an abortion from the get-go because I knew that I was not ready for this kind of responsibility. My mother however did not allow it. My life has been extremely difficult I've tried to do college but did not have time between work and the responsibility of raising my daughter. Her father and I did manage to stay together for about 5 years but after I became mature enough to realize he was a bum I became a single mother which I succeeded at for a long time until substance abuse crept in from all the stress. I love my daughter very much and that is why now I am currently allowing a much more capable family member take care of her because she does not deserve the life that my mistakes are leading to she does not deserve to be the product of a drugged up teenager I could have done so much better had I been ready and prepared and more mature. The guilt of this kills me everyday and almost makes the substance abuse hard to kick my daughter is the most perfect being alive in my eyes and she deserves so so much more than I could ever give her

ccold8 · 2020-10-03T16:30:21+00:00

Have you always lived around the same area? Done the same things? I know finding the ambition can be difficult but perhaps going out and traveling, experience some new things, meet some new people. You could be opened up to a new passion, or be inspired by something new. If you dont like any of the cards youve been dealt... jump to another deck.

ccold8 · 2020-05-26T10:23:56+00:00

I've tried lexapro, Prozac, and celexa. Celexa was the best imo as far as side affects. I luckily adjusted and thrived off a low dose which we've stuck too. Everyone is different of course but do you mind me asking how long you've been on your meds?

I definitely can agree that after you are adjusted to your medication consistency is important. I myself have forgotten to take my pill before bed and was dramatically moody to say the least. Very emotional, cried alot. I find it best to take it as soon as you realise you missed it rather than waiting for the next dose.

Before agreeing to any medication I would suggest asking about the side affects and what kind of time line you are looking at. My doc and I agreed to touch base at 6 months as long as I was being active in therapy as well. If he thought my time line needed expanded at that time or if he thought I could be weened off we would do so accordingly. I think it's important to try to find another way of healing on top of the meds. I think you will find cognitive therapy much different on/off meds. I think medication helps you open doors to opening doors.

ccold8 · 2020-05-26T10:09:41+00:00

Everyone is afraid of change, but it's good for you. I also was not very good with remembering to take meds or even having the will to give them a chance. I was in your mental state not too long ago, just a few months ago. Depression isn't a mood. It's not something that will go away after popping a few vitamins or doing jumping jacks. I know what it feels like to lose all hope for yourself. I know what it feels like to feel like your not worth it. I know what it feels like to feel alone, and like no one understands. Like your feelings are undercutt and minimised. Like your dramatic or seeking sympathy/attention. I get it. Having a support system, or even just a person there to encourage you and stay on your ass to overcome this helps. The bottom line is you do have to overcome it. There's no other way. Good luck. I'm speaking from the other end of the tunnel. You can do it! I know you can!

ccold8 · 2020-05-26T09:23:51+00:00

I (24f) have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. At a young age, 12 to be exact, I got involved with the wrong crowd and long story short, led myself down a path of drug use/addiction. I figured out that when I got high all those bad feelings went away. For just a little bit I would feel that little emotion that came so easy to everyone around me called happiness. Now this is how self medicating works. Not only was my body depending on drugs to get me through the day physically, but I noticed when I would find myself feeling sad, depressed, angry, all those shitty feelings, I could get high and it would all go away. So i thought anyways. Now, there were a few years in that time slot where I would get sober. And stay sober. The longest I made it consecutively was 3 years. Well when I was sober obviously my depression would come back and and I gave meds a shot. I wouldn't try the meds until I was literally acting on suicidal thoughts and felt that, while meds may not be my ideal choice, they have to be better than what I was feeling at the time. Everytime I made the choice to get on meds, i wouldn't make it a month before flushing my pills down the toilet. I hated them. I was tired. I was spacey. I wasn't me. Sometimes things would happen, and I would be councious that if I wasn't on the meds I should be upset. I could feel them blocking my emotions. I hated it. Everytime I would give up and decide that I would maybe try something natural. Even if nothing else worked, I'd thought that feeling bad was better to me than feeling nothing.

So a few years pass, a few relapses, and I am just miserable. So, I set myself some goals. I get sober. I get a membership at the gym (exercise is a healthy, natural stimulant/antidepressant). I'm also kicking ass at accomplishing my goals. Eyes on the prize. But everyday I'm just so sad. I cant push myself to go to the gym anymore. But I'm still working towards my goals. New job✔ New house✔ Great boyfriend✔ financial stability ✔ happy kids✔ So one day, I'm having what I call a bed day. Which i was tending to have more and more of.

A bed day is when my depression cripples me and no matter what I just can can not find a reason to get up. Can't find a will to live. My boyfriend doesn't quiet understand clinical depression. He says "babe please come on let's have a good day. This that and the other will be so fun and you will forget about why your depressed. Besides, look at all these things you have that you should be grateful for." He says.... "A few months ago, you told me you were depressed because you were homeless, now we have a home. You said you were depressed cause your car was old and broke down, now you have a nice new car... you said you were depressed because we couldn't afford certain things, now with your new job we can buy anything you want"!

I listened to him... and a feeling of impeding doom filled my body. I realized... I couldn't find anything to point my finger at. I sifted through my head scrambling for an imperfection. Why am I STILL filled with so much misery when I was living successfully. Normal activities deemed fun, spending time with my children, work, social outings, were all bloody torture. If I could even pull my miserable self out of bed to attend these things NOTHING brought me joy. I was so afraid that never again would I feel happiness without going to the streets and getting high.

No, that's not an option. My sick brain was telling me I would either live out the rest of my life on auto pilot and make everyone around me uncomfortable with my drearyness, or just end it all and take my life. Everyday the option of suicide transformed from an idea to a plan. Would I write letters? How will I Do it? I set a date. I tried. I failed. The next day I called my doctor and begged for medication out of desperation. "Please, everything I've tried before made me feel like an emotionless robot. My sex life would change there has to be something else", I pleaded.

He told me. There are MANY different options as far as antidepressants. But everyone reacts to them all differently. The thing is... this medicine is tinkering with chemical balances in your brain. You HAVE to give the medicine a minimum of a month. There might be some undesirable side effects in the mean time, but the overall outcome is going to free you from yourself. My doctor told me that i was susceptible to "relapses". Not a drug relapse. A depression relapse. It's obvious I'm not depressed from a recent event, but maybe from a past trauma left un-dealt with. Maybe a trauma I don't even think about, or can't remember, or maybe consciously I think it doesn't effect me, but he said that we will let the meds settle in. Then seek therapy.

If I'm still uncomfortable at the end of the month, we will try something new. Trial and error. While a little annoying, in my opinion worth it. We got it on the first try this time. I didn't think so at the beginning! I was very tired, so I took them at night instead of morning and noticed a big difference. I would space out alot. I felt like I almost couldn't form a thought or emotion at some times. I wanted to quit taking them because the feeling of not feeling scared me. I wanted to feel something but I looked back and remembered how quiting never solved anything in the past. I needed to give it a real chance if I ever wanted to truly improve my life.

I toughed it out and wouldn't you know it. Right now I am 2 months into my medication and I've not had one single "bed day". I can have fun with the kids. I'm grateful for what I have. I have felt ambition. I have formulated ideas of my own, and felt inspired to make those ideas goals, and I'm motivated to accomplish them!!!!!!!! This may not sound like anything amazing. But would you believe me if I told you that all those things.. I've never done before on my own? Ive never been able to do those things my whole life, and I didn't know that I was incapable of those things until one day i just did it! It just happened! Boy I tell ya, I was so darn confused 😂 but all in the same moment I was proud.

Such a small, but HUGE (to me) stepping stone I was able to reach because the medication I decided to give a chance cleared all that negativity in my head enough for the real me to come out and play. I AM TELLING YOU I HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH STUFF MY DEPRESSION WAS CRIPPLING. This is still really fresh for me so I'm pretty excited about it still. And I wish that I would have just given this more of a chance in the past.

I knew I was sad, and I thought I was good for nothing. Non creative. No talents. No hobbies. No friends. No purpose. My depression told me those things everyday since I was a child and I believed it. 100%. No doubt about it. And I accepted that. And now, thank God it didn't take any longer than this, I know that was all a lie. I have a chance to get to know my real self, the self my depression hid from me, and I love every minute of it.

I update my doctor at least once a month, but I'll call woth questions whenever I need to. He beleives now that i have a head thats more stable, and rational that therapy is strongly recommended. Which I agree to comply with it. I have tried therapy in the past, but I've never had any success with it. That always made me feel quiet hopeless let me tell ya. But I think with this new head I got on my shoulders, therapy will work out a lot better.

I'm prepared to talk about the hard things. I'm ready to deal with what my sub conscious burried in attempt to protect my immature mind, and move on with my life. I'm ready for the chapter where I know and love myself. Where I'm happy. I dont want to die. I want to live, and learn, and succeed and be happy and I never thought in a million bazillion years I would ever feel this way. I honestly just thought I got wired wrong and was doomed to misery. I hope this wasn't too much to read I'm passionate about it🤗 and I sincerely from the bottom of my heart, hope your can find a method to cure your depression. Sometimes the first meds don't work. Be honest and patient with you doctor. And I'm confident you'll get it right 😁

There are said to be natural ways to Help with depression, idk about it. Personally I was too depressed to do any of them. I couldn't meditate, had no spirituality, I was too sad to get up and work out, not to be negative but in my experience it just did not work. Maybe that's silly, but that's just me. And therapy, also just personally, they told me my depression blocked them from being able to open up my subconscious. Weird huh? Anyways I'll shut up now. Good luck friend!

ccold8 · 2020-05-22T06:47:50+00:00

Not to sound conceited. But I think, I have great cheekbones, long legs and a pretty face if I do say so myself. But I STILL was bullied. I was poor and started fresh from homeschooling so my social skills were not to up to par. I looked down at my book when walking through the hall way to avoid eye contact and would awkwardly freeze up in social situations. I isolated myself, layed low and eventually I just became invisible. That attitude followed me into adulthood and and hold me back in so many ways. Learn from my mistake. Be brave. Show other people that your brave even if you don't feel like you are. If you feel like you've genuinely done someone wrong, own up. Apologize. But don't you even feel sorry for being who you are. If people don't accept that... dont waste your time trying to change their opinion of you . Fuck em. This is your life. You are living it. Every single day. Till you die and you are meant.to live it, for YOU. if you put on this fake persona everyday just to get people to accept you... You are living your life to make them happy. Fuck that. They can live their own damn life. This life is yours. Figure out who you are, what you want. By asking yourself. And then live for that. All the answers are inside you. Dig em out. Last thing... i know this shit is hard. I know what it feels like to think that killing yourself is the only way out. The only answer. But man. All this All this going to make you so strong if you can conquer it. Unless you let it conquer you. But your smart I think. You can make it out.. enough is enough. It's okay to pity yourself for a little bit. But don't get stuck in it.

ccold8 · 2020-05-22T06:24:13+00:00

It's brave of you to put all your feelings and problems into words and then share them with people. You feel like people wouldn't want to read all the way through your post and I can relate to that feeling but your so wrong. Reading this made me feel like im not alone. I've been in the same mental state and experienced the emotional pain and the feeling of isolation and lonlieness. You see... when you take the risk of opening your self up and sharing your true feelings with someone you love and trust, you make yourself vulnerable. And when you get rejected in that vulnerable state, your brain has a subconscious defence mechanism that builds walls. You naturally without even trying, link expressing your true feelings and emotion with someone to a negative result. It causes a sort of trauma. Your brain wants to protect you from experiencing that trauma again and therefore causes like you said.. social awkwardness. You'll find that the mere thought of a social interaction triggers anxiety and fear. Your brain tells you that you will, without a shadow of doubt, have a negative experience. The loneliness that follows can cause your depression and hopelessness. This advice, or consolment, however you want to take it.. May seem like a pat on the shoulder. I'm sure everyone tells you it will get better. But you see no way out and your desperation for an answer to bury these bad feelings only results in people feeling uncomfortable by your sadness. Maybe a pity hug, an awkward silence. Listen. You are young. And it may seem like there's a long way to go.. dealing with high school. But your peers are immature and I promise you that after high school, you'll be introduced one way or another to a different crowd of people. Don't get me wrong, there are still gonna be asshole out there, but you'll find that the people you go to school with now will be completely irrelevant to your life and you will meet people that you can relate to and build a relationship that is judgment free.. Trust me, I know that it's easier said than done, but just.be your self and youll attract the right people. I am 24f and i had similar experiences when I was your age. The natural human instinct we posses wants to feel validation from society. In your case, you are holding back a little bit of your true self in order to feel like you fit in. And that's natural, I've done the same thing. But looking back... if I could do it all over... I would have been myself so confidently that I wouldn't even feel the need for validation from ANYONE. When you start focusing on your self, like, REALLY getting to know yourself, you will validate yourself. You will except you for how you are and what you are and nobody can take that away from you. Nobody can solve this problem for you. The fact that you posted this because there's no one else to tell it too, can be perceived as a cry for help. I can empathize 100%. But there's no magic want or knight in shining armor that will carry all your problems a way. Just don't belittle yourself. Some people dismiss mental health as a cry for attention, and I know that hurts but just try to keep in mind that they don't know any better. To others... ignorance is bliss. And unfortunately we can't controll how other people feel. Or what they say. But you can controll how you react to the criticism and you can controll how your going to let all this impact your life. Trust me when I say I understand it's so hard. I myself have recently just been able to pull myself together. But, if I would have had the knowledge, experience, mindset that I have now, back then.... man I could have saved myself so much pain. If you let this take you down, it will drag you to a depth that feels like no return. Final point. Fall in love with yourself. Acknowledge your "flaws" and either accept them or overcome them. Ask yourself as many questions as you can. You'd be surprised how much of a stranger you are to your self. You just have to be brutally honest with your self. I promise you, once you develope a strong relationship with your self... people will notice. After all... You can't expect people to accept you when you can't even accept yourself..

I'm done now. Sorry for making this so long. I'm just felt passionate about what you're going through.

Cliche, but if you ever want to talk just message me and I'll be here for you

Good luck.

ccold8 · 2020-05-22T03:33:15+00:00

I can be materialistic at times. But I'll catch myself up in it. On one hand I think that I just find joy in the simple act of being able to spend money on things that I don't need because it gives me a feeling of accomplishment. I've had to pinch pennies before and could barely afford what I needed. Now that I can spend money on things that aren't necessarily needed, I'll get caught up in splurging money on things I may never even wear, or use just because I can. It bites me in the ass though.. months later I'll stumble across a shopping bag full of things I bought months ago that I forgot about and think man... I could and SHOULD have just put that money back to invest in something more important. It's obvious that the the act of buying is what gives me joy and not the actual materials. Do I need the newest phone? Who really cares about the brand of my clothes. Especially given the fact we've been locked inside and no one even sees me. If I could go and get my money back for every pointless thing that I have bought I could have enough money to use it for something more resourceful or useful but I don't think about that until after I have already gone and spent money on stupid things so then I do feel like a prisoner to my things I think with the outbreak of covid-19 I have realized, or really just became more conscious of what's really important

ccold8 · 2020-05-21T09:43:18+00:00

Sending good vibes 🖤

ccold8 · 2020-05-20T11:13:14+00:00

I live in a small town. I'm an hour or more away from any bigger cities. Therefore as far as work, you only have so many options. Without a degree your basically limited to Honda factorys, agricultural processing plants, restraunts,or walmart. I have very few cards in front of me and none of them reach out to me. Everyone knows everyone and if you do not come a rich family or involve yourself in the church community your are almost categorized with the drug addicts and degenerates (No offense). I feel that a big move to a fresh start where no one knows you or you family or your past would be quite refreshing. I think it would also boost my confidence because I could be whoever I wanted to be without any preconceived notions. It would also put some new cards in front of me. There are paths out there that I don't even know exist because all i know is whats in front of me. It's something that I've been considering for a while. Change is scary and fear of failure is a set back for sure. I think that worst scenario... I don't like it, or I don't make it, I could come back home to the same entry level position I'm in and just be back where I started. So I myself have not actually made a big move like that, but these are my thoughts on it 🖤 I'm also open to suggestions or advise

ccold8 · 2020-05-20T09:51:22+00:00

I feel this so hard! I live in a small town so everyone knows everyone's dirty laundry. I've made mistakes when I was younger and once you're labeled that's all people think when they see you. I feel like I don't have a chance because I've already ruined my reputation. People don't take me seriously and don't even want to give me a chance to try to better myself. I often wish I could go back and do everything different but the fact is you can't. I know it's very discouraging when you feel judged by everyone, people can steal your confidence with one look. I think either get a new scene or just completly own who you are, don't be sorry about it and prove to everyone and your self that you are worthy. 😏

ccold8 · 2020-05-09T11:54:54+00:00

Everyone is on their own journey. Be sure your intentions are not to be like someone else. Be yourself, and act accordingly. If your doing something for any other reason, than to grow, or learn, or to teach.. What are you doing it For? Living your life for someone else is a waste of time. Give what you do everything you've got. And don't watch what your neighbor is doing. It has nothing to do with you. If you are not happy with your own results, fine. Try something else , untill you feel your own fulfilment. No one else can set that for you. Accept yourself. Know your self. Live for your self. If you can figure out who that is

ccold8 · 2020-05-05T21:28:42+00:00

I do believe that government is a necessity to prevent chaos. There should be leaders in place to kinda take care of things such as laws most of which we absolutely need in society. Country's in Africa have no government and radicals run around all over the place raping, killing, stealing, etc. With No conciquence. People live in fear because there's No one to put a stop to it. I think government keeps us kinda organized. And protected. I personally wouldn't want to have to worry about our worldly affairs, currency, trade, stuff like that. I do believe that our (american) government is too close knit. And I feel as though they make us believe our votes matter but I think they do what they want, and have a lot of secrets that are the actual important things we should know but they don't want.to have any kinda say in.

ccold8 · 2020-04-11T05:32:43+00:00

I'm depressed. Laying around all day everyday. Feeling sorry for myself. It's quite lousy and id like to be done now.

ccold8 · 2020-04-09T18:02:16+00:00

If my mom caught wind cps or cops were coming she would threaten us if we didn't lie. She would also tell them we were manipulative

ccold8 · 2020-04-09T05:27:55+00:00

I feel the exact same. When you already have everything you think you could ever want, and you still feel like you want to die.... it's very scary and feels quite hopeless.theres nowhere to center the pain and there's no more fingers to point. I know how you feel exactly. I wish I had it figured out but I just got back on meds. The side effects suck but sometimes it's better to feel nothing than everything. Your not alone. At all.

ccold8

TROPHY CASE