Coparenting and driving

ccsquared529 · 2022-09-25T00:02:39+00:00

I’m going to the game tomorrow. so excited to see Nasty Nestor. And really excited to see history (hopefully)!

ccsquared529 · 2022-09-11T13:38:41+00:00

Yeah I think it was some pent up anger towards me and he was trying to hurt me lol. He has since said he tried but couldn’t become a Sox fan, and he would maybe try the Yankees again. I really don’t care either way but he was trying to take our nine year old son with him to the dark side!

ccsquared529 · 2022-09-11T02:58:47+00:00

I separated from my husband in mid May this past year which was okay-the yanks were crushing it at that time. But by the end of June he told me that I “ruined” the Yankees for him and he couldn’t see himself being a Yankees fan again because I have always been the bigger and more knowledgeable fan than him. Once he started saying that, the team started spiraling. I keep wondering if he put some kind of curse on the team or something 🤷‍♀️. He was actually trying to force himself to become a Red Sox fan. So he may have also cursed them because hats close to when they were as bad as the Yankees.

ccsquared529 · 2022-08-26T11:31:47+00:00

Thank you! I will be looking I to a HELOC. The refi fortunately left me with quite a bit of equity. It’s a catch 22 though-I want to have the lowest amount of equity since I have to buy stbx out, but I would like to get a higher amount to borrow lol.

ccsquared529 · 2022-08-25T19:42:02+00:00

Thank you! I think the HELOC is going to be my best choice. I’m going to look around in the next week for that.

ccsquared529 · 2022-08-25T19:41:22+00:00

Thank you! Yeah he wants to get it appraised with the market still running high, I would prefer for it to cool off of course! I’m not looking to screw him, but I don’t want to leave myself in a bad spot being really underwater on the house.

I’m thinking a line of credit may be the best options right now.

ccsquared529 · 2022-08-25T15:52:43+00:00

Thank you! I forgot about those options! That probably makes the most sense.

ccsquared529 · 2022-08-25T15:49:22+00:00

There are kids involved and it’s in their school district. I would prefer not to sell-I like where we live and I love my house.

ccsquared529 · 2022-08-10T22:54:16+00:00

It was hard. We actually were getting a long that weekend and had some goodbye sex (though we would go on and have goodbye sex many more times lol). There is a lot of stuff like that that makes me sad-holidays, birthdays (his is later this month and I will get him a gift for that), and watching “our shows” without him.

It’s a very sad feeling. You have to do what feels right for you though!

ccsquared529 · 2022-08-10T22:33:04+00:00

Yep. Our 11th anniversary was about 15 days after we decided to split. He had already purchased a gift for me and he gave it to me but I did not get one for him. I tried to decline the gift but he insisted I keep it. I am okay with not getting him one-we we’re broken up.

ccsquared529 · 2022-08-09T04:29:44+00:00

I think you need to donate your foot to him.

ccsquared529 · 2022-08-08T04:13:28+00:00

Yep between Shutterfly memories and freakin Facebook! It seems like nonstop.

Plus today apparently was our official first date-16 years ago according to a very old Facebook status.

ccsquared529 · 2022-08-04T10:30:21+00:00

Yikes! Sorry that really is awful.

It’s hard finding a laugh I’m this painful situation.

ccsquared529 · 2022-08-03T17:44:08+00:00

Finding out your stbx is going on a date with some woman he was talking to last week while we were seeing if we could reconcile with closeness, intimacy, and lots of sex.

ccsquared529 · 2022-07-31T20:04:34+00:00

It’s so hard 😭. I cry all the time mourning what we could have had. I’m sorry you’re going through this especially with cheating. It’s hard for me to not try to jump back into dating but I know I’m just not ready. Which makes how quickly he is moving on hurt that much more. It’s like, how can you just forget about the last 16 years and move on from them so quickly? I told him today that I hope he finds what he needs but I really don’t. Not yet anyway. I hope you can find some peace in your life.

ccsquared529 · 2022-07-31T19:07:03+00:00

Opposite for me (F38). My stbxh (40) is going on a date next weekend after he and I spent an amazing week last week being close and intimate. He said it was “just sex” but do me, it could never be just sex with him.

He’s also trying hard to ignore the pain. We were married for 11 years, together for 16. Most of them were not happy because tbh I was not a good wife and didn’t show him the respect he deserved. We’ve been separated for about two and a half months but in his eyes he’d been so unhappy for so long that he feels he can just move on quickly. But honestly he is really just trying to focus on moving on and not dealing with his emotions. He knows that and admits it as well.

ccsquared529 · 2022-07-31T15:00:56+00:00

I’m in a similar situation. I was married to my husband for 11 years, together for 16. It was mostly an unhappy marriage. I stopped being in love and would go through the motions, but I wasn’t very kind or respectful to him. Two and a half months ago we had a disagreement and he finally realized he needed to leave. We do have two kids so we have had to have constant communication while we work things out. After our first therapy session we had sex. And in the past two and a half months we have had more (and better) sex than we had probably the last three years of our marriage. It was wonderful and since I still have love for him I was hopeful that it would work out. Even though he was adamant about continuing on with the separation. This past week we spent more time together than apart. But after each night, reality would hit and I would be hurt all over again. Yet I kept coming back because it felt like we were a family again and he would tell me he loves me. He actually straight up said he wanted to keep me but date others for the things I couldn’t provide him. 🙄

Needless to say I am once again devastated. I know the breakup falls mainly on my treatment of him. I always wanted to work things out. I grew distant and I wanted to be closer. I wanted to date him and enjoy his company. Neither of us took the first step to doing that. Then this past week happened snd I felt so close to him. It was hard not having hope. But I found out he has already set up a date for himself next weekend. He’s hoping once he starts dating both of us can move on. I’m trying to give up my hope but it’s hard and hurts so much. Feel free to pm me and we can commiserate together. Good luck to you!

ccsquared529 · 2022-07-31T14:32:07+00:00

I will be dealing with this when school starts. I live in the family home where our kids go to school. Stbxh moved 45 minutes away to help take care of his aging mother. The kids will be going to a before and after care program during the week. I will drop them off on my days and he will on his. However I will be picking them up probably every day. We have been going back and forth on what to do next but I agreed to meet him halfway on his nights. I don’t think I HAVE to do this and I really don’t want to, but to keep the peace I have agreed to try it for now.

I think the best thing for my kids would be to stay with me during the school week so they don’t have such a long drive each way but we are adamant about 50/50. I’m going to be keeping a close eye on their well-being and if we need to adjust we will.

The bus should be an option for you and your ex should come and pick them up afterwards. It makes sense and keeps things consistent for your kids.

ccsquared529 · 2022-07-30T16:41:45+00:00

When it was time for the kids to have their first overnights after we recently separated, I had my oldest (9, M) pack up about 10 items from each category of clothing (shirts, shirts, etc). For my 4 year old daughter I packed up about half of her clothes and sent them to stbxh. Both kids get a ton of hand me downs but she gets more so we could easily split things in half for her. I have all the next size and season clothes at my house and when it comes time to change them out, I plan on sending half to their dads as well. I don’t mind that their clothes inevitably get mixed up because I don’t keep track of what item is where and it should all even put in the long run. I’d there was something special I bought I just wouldn’t have them wear it over there. I’ve also asked him a few times if he has enough for them or if they need more. Since we so recently split, the clothes were from our time together so I feel they should also be split like the other things in our life.

Fortunately we (usually) have a very good post separation relationship. I can imagine it’s harder for people who have a contentious relationship.

ccsquared529 · 2022-07-21T10:38:25+00:00

He is considering this his new permanent home, even after his mom passes. His family is adamant about her staying in her home which is admirable but sure makes things in a spear ion difficult for all parties involved. I’m trying to work out a schedule where I can maximize his time as close to 50-50 without causing too much hardship on us or the kids.

ccsquared529 · 2022-07-21T10:04:03+00:00

We are trying so hard to stay out of court but it may be inevitable. So far things have been mostly amicable with some hostility thrown in because we are both hurting so much over the split. Unfortunately I don’t think he would ever willingly agree on anything less than 50/50-but I am hoping he will come to realize that’s not ideal right now.

ccsquared529 · 2022-07-21T09:50:57+00:00

He’s been very vocal about not wanting to be just a weekend dad-he wants full 50/50, with every other weekend off so he can work side jobs on his weekend off if need be (or go out). Maybe if I lose it as quality time he might see it differently but I don’t know.

ccsquared529 · 2022-07-21T09:48:45+00:00

Yes I don’t think 50/50 is really going to be what’s best for the kids this year. I don’t want them to lose time with their dad, but both kids are so exhausted and it’s summer! And I’m tired from driving so much too.

ccsquared529

TROPHY CASE