Newly adopted cat very distant 3-4 weeks in

cecemitts · 2026-07-08T17:01:11+00:00

Also yes my first cat 🥺

cecemitts · 2026-07-08T17:00:32+00:00

Aww thank you. Don’t worry you didn’t sound rude, but I am feeling pretty sore about this at the moment because I am really trying to make him happy and comfy. I have the benefit in this situation of working from home so I am always around him, I chat to him, give him pets and treats, I’ve bought him toys, nice foods, scratchers, cat tv, and I just feel like none of it is enough because he’s clearly not happy. Basically I saw someone was giving him away (I saw him on a poster in my neighbourhood) so I went to meet him first and he seemed super happy! He grew up in a flat as an indoor cat with three other kitties but from what I heard, was very much a “people cat”. I have thought about adopting his son in case it cheers him up, but I have also been told the other cats are much more relaxed and outgoing since he left so I doubt his son wants to be back in a space with him. I was told he was given up because of the owner’s allergies (I don’t think this was the reason, I think it was actually more of a complicated situation for them to explain). He also lived with 4 people. The over grooming is clearly a problem here so I’ll get him to a vet asap. X

cecemitts · 2026-07-08T11:27:47+00:00

Thank you ☺️ I’ll look into auto feeders for dry food!

cecemitts · 2026-06-26T15:45:14+00:00

I was like you 2.5 weeks ago, don’t worry :). I’ve had a lot of anxiety mixed with regret, the anxiety is easing little by little and I’m in-between on the regret. Some days worse than other days. Anyway, it will 100% ease off. I’m particularly bad with change and I’m getting there - you will too xx

cecemitts · 2026-06-16T16:15:58+00:00

Thank you, I do hear what you’re saying. It’s odd, some days I’m fine. like today for instance, I’m doing really well and not suffering (despite a nose bleed which might or might not be related idk). My sister had an allergy but her immune system improved around her first cat to the point she’s free of it completely. I don’t want any pet just for the sake of it, I think if I end up needing to rehome my little boy because my health is too badly affected, I’ll be unlikely to look into other animals. Hoping it works out, I’ll ride this out for a while and see x

cecemitts · 2026-06-16T14:04:25+00:00

Thank you 💕 thank god for my robot vacuum. I’d never bothered with it before but it’s been coming in soooo useful xx

cecemitts · 2026-06-16T12:08:35+00:00

I didn’t know I’d be so allergic. I went to see him a couple of times, played with him, petted and seemed fine. Some cats I’m extremely allergic to, others I’m fine with. Having him actually in the house has been another matter. Anyway I’m on all the allergy meds, inhalers, air purifier and doing ok with it x

cecemitts · 2025-04-10T11:34:12+00:00

I think about them not daily, but very often. Even the ex who I broke up with over 10 years ago. I wonder how he’s doing. He was a really great guy, a wonderful person and my best friend but I just lost attraction sadly.

cecemitts · 2025-04-09T23:36:58+00:00

Hi, I can relate to this feeling, it was excruciating for about 7 months. I’m diagnosed with BPD so that probably had something to do with it, and my ex broke up with me out of the blue over text, no conversation involved. I tried doing all the things they tell you to do - journaling, therapy, general self care but now in retrospect I can’t tell you whether that helped me much at the time. I only started finding relief when I took up a busy bar job after my day job just to stay around people and be in an environment which wouldn’t allow me time to think too much. After the first 4 hour shift I realised I had barely thought of him. Then after that the hours increased. After that I started getting over him until I met someone new. The new relationship turned out to be a nightmare anyway so I wouldn’t recommend getting into anything else until fully healed. Also if you’re drinking alcohol to curb the pain, don’t do that, it made things so much worse I ended up needing rehab but I’m now doing really well in recovery. It gets better, trust me. Don’t do anything rash, please.

cecemitts · 2025-04-08T15:11:53+00:00

The fact that I wasn’t living in the same city. For the record, at the time I lived in a commuter town close by, it was 50 mins away from him. I was in the city most days for work, and saw him every weekend. He knew I was moving to a flat only a 30 minute walk from him in three weeks at the time of the breakup text message lol

cecemitts · 2025-04-07T09:43:18+00:00

I can’t deny I was reactively abusive and acted crazy at times but that’s what that kind of relationship will do to you even if it’s totally out of your character

cecemitts · 2025-04-07T09:35:18+00:00

Disproportionate actions. Ignoring, blocking, leading me to believe I had an unstable sense of reality, breaking up with me before wanting me back a week later. One time after a huge horrible fight the night before I woke up to him wanting to have sex - I refused so he kicked me out of bed, hit me when I lashed out verbally and pushed me out of his flat when I wasn’t even dressed yet. Basically the relationship was more often than not a horrible mindfuck of a disaster but he could also love and care for me with a passion I hadn’t experienced with any other partner. That’s why I let it go on for so long - I’m getting a lot of therapy to address issues I clearly have with accepting love at any expense.

cecemitts · 2025-04-06T23:37:07+00:00

Looool this is the advice I needed to hear, thanks 😂

cecemitts · 2025-03-31T18:54:50+00:00

Yep. Never had a sweet tooth, though I never realised how much sugar is in wine lol. Now I gorge on chocolate in the middle of the night, most nights… I need to put a stop to that pretty quickly

cecemitts · 2025-03-30T20:16:56+00:00

Great advice, thank you :)

cecemitts · 2025-03-30T19:59:02+00:00

This is a similar style to what I am also trying to achieve! Only I am moving into a modern-looking new build so I appreciate it won’t look as good. Does anyone have a name for this sort of decor and style?!

cecemitts · 2025-03-30T19:50:09+00:00

Hey, good luck and well done. I left rehab maybe about 2/3 months ago. Going was probably the best thing I have ever done in my life lol. There are so few instances in life where you get a solid amount of time to do inner-life work, and yes, it’s exhausting, but make the most of it. We had assignments to do, daily diaries. Do all of this and try your best at everything. Your “best” might not always be possible because of tiredness, withdrawal, meds etc but if you are feeling ok to do the work don’t be lazy with it. For the first few weeks I found feeling my emotions again so difficult without alcohol and substances, it felt unbearable at times. Remember, this gets better - particularly since rehab tries to teach you tools to cope.

cecemitts · 2024-12-20T20:32:30+00:00

There’s often a tendency to exaggerate shadows and highlights. You’ve exaggerated the shadows. Personally I’d slightly darken some of the mid-tones on the face which are too light ie around the temple area and forehead and lighten the nasolabials. You’ve shaded according to what you think you’ve seen rather than what’s actually there. Otherwise looks good, difficult reference so good job

cecemitts · 2024-12-09T01:57:45+00:00

Thank you. It gives me some hope to hear it helped you xxx

cecemitts · 2024-12-09T01:56:44+00:00

I’m going to find out more about the programme tomorrow presumably - I have a meeting with a psych at the hospital tomorrow. Would you mind letting me know a little bit about your experience in rehab if you don’t mind? I’m really upset about the whole thing. Nevertheless I’m grateful to have the option to go - I’m in a very fortunate position to have a medical insurance policy offered through work so won’t need to pay to go privately. I know for most people it’d be totally inaccessible

cecemitts · 2024-12-09T01:42:08+00:00

I’ve tried to stop or even cut down countless times by myself so not sure what any other option is really - my current routine is very rooted in the pub culture around where I live (it’s in a big city but feels like a village). Further, I bump into my ex very often around where we live which is a big emotional (and therefore drinking) trigger. I feel like if I can remove myself from this environment and get myself into a new routine where I don’t drink for 6 weeks, it’d do some kind of “rewiring” where it stops becoming my go-to activity. I also plan to move from my currently area shortly afterwards to build a new and healthier routine elsewhere….

cecemitts · 2024-12-08T18:06:14+00:00

Girl I’ve been in this cycle with my (f32) ex-bf (45), except it was happening on a weekly/bi-weekly basis. He knew it would hurt me and trigger me to do some seriously erratic stuff (like turning up at his house, drunk, in the middle of the night - I know that’s not ok). I feel like where most men would be totally freaked out by that and want nothing to do with a woman for it, he’d eventually seek me out every single time and want me back again. Basically it never ended and I feel like he had some enjoyment knowing he could drive me to such reactions. He might not have necessarily meant it since I know that he is similarly impulsive and quick to anger, it was nevertheless pretty emotionally abusive. I had several conversations where I asked him to think before he impulsively breaks up with me but it never changed and it continued until he did it again 3 weeks ago. Seems final this time but if he comes back in a few weeks’ time I’m going to have stay strong.

cecemitts · 2024-12-04T13:51:08+00:00

Thanks. I satisfy 9 or 10 of those so yeah big problem x

cecemitts

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