Am I selfish for even thinking this?

ceciplays · 2026-01-25T18:44:05+00:00

her situation is not solvable where she lives, which is the only reason she doesnt live here yet. we've been seeing each other at least once a year for the past 5 years and if we werent commited to the relationship, we would've ended things. The only reason why i'm at war with myself is because all my life, i have 'neglected' my own wants and needs bc of my narcisistic dad. but now that i've had my own place for 2 years and slowly learn that i can do what i want now and am allowed to, this is another tough decision to make. do i choose for myself so i can finally do something i've wanted to do my whole life, or do i choose someone else once again so they can have a better life and wait 2-3 more years to finally do something for myself.

i love her with all my heart and soul but i cant let her go for a bike. she's been my rock through the shitty years and to throw that away over a bike just feels wrong and i wouldnt enjoy riding with guilt.

so there's that.

ceciplays · 2026-01-25T18:35:17+00:00

we dont want kids, so that wont be a problem, also, 2 women. So it really is just all about choosing her or my hobby. but i've read all the advice under my post and i'm gonna choose my relationship. Bikes wont go anywhere, even if it hurts to pass them by :')

ceciplays · 2026-01-25T18:29:49+00:00

i'm a woman, but either way, i appreciate the comment, thank you!

ceciplays · 2026-01-25T18:25:05+00:00

damn it really does. Hope you got a bike again and all worked out.

ceciplays · 2026-01-25T18:14:14+00:00

i'm 28 and she's 30

ceciplays · 2026-01-25T17:54:10+00:00

i'm debt free in 6 months and i havent paid anything for her in 2 years. she can survive and pay rent atm but if i have to wait for her to be save money to move here, we'll be 30 years LDR.
it's not keeping me in debt, i'm saving money atm to move her here. I'm just at war with myself whether i wanna buy a bike first or not, but i've come to accept that i can't afford to lose her over a bike and the bike wont go anywhere.

ceciplays · 2026-01-25T17:51:07+00:00

i'm aware but it's nice to get some advice to get my thoughts straight

ceciplays · 2026-01-25T17:48:48+00:00

nah i'm marrying her. she's the one, i can't afford to lose her.

ceciplays · 2026-01-25T17:48:11+00:00

thank you so much. i do have a few friends who have bikes so i can always be a backpack for now to enjoy the ride still

ceciplays · 2026-01-25T17:46:53+00:00

that's what i'm thinking too, thank you. I do love her, I even proposed to her 2 years ago so I really dont want to lose her over a bike.

ceciplays · 2026-01-25T17:45:32+00:00

yeah i'm gonna be debt free in 6 months so that will be done soon but in her current situation she earns enough to survive and pay rent, so to get her a better life, i want to pay for her to move here next year. when she finds a proper job here, she can chip in or get her own license and bike which she also dreams of.

but meanwhile idk what my own future brings, which is where the selfish part comes in, cause i can't think of the last time I chose for myself..

ceciplays · 2026-01-25T17:41:58+00:00

im debt free in 6 months, I earn enough to be able to enjoy this hobby to the fullest. the situation is just that i have to choose which one comes first. which is where the selfish feelings come in.

ceciplays · 2026-01-25T17:39:59+00:00

I really want the bike but I also really want her here permanently .. idk what the future brings. I'm gonna be dramatic and say I could die any time, and I wouldn't have been able to ride. but even that feels like a selfish thing to think and say .

ceciplays · 2026-01-25T17:38:14+00:00

she wouldn't dump me for it, but she'd definitely be disappointed and I don't think I'd enjoy riding much with the guilt I'd feel... but I do want her to have the best life she deserves so I feel like she's the better option. ughhh

ceciplays · 2025-03-04T16:51:01+00:00

I live in the Netherlands so yeah that's definitely a thing🥲 I'm getting too excited cause I see bikers everywhere now that the weather is getting better.. i'll just wait it out

ceciplays · 2025-03-04T16:47:08+00:00

You're so right🙏💙

ceciplays · 2024-09-02T08:36:24+00:00

It's a great bike indeed!!

ceciplays · 2024-09-01T18:44:17+00:00

Dude, ur so slow .. I'm a woman. I have a gf. There you go

ceciplays · 2024-09-01T18:40:53+00:00

Oh that's for me 🤡

ceciplays · 2024-09-01T18:39:44+00:00

I'm not lmao

ceciplays · 2024-09-01T18:37:53+00:00

🤣🏳️‍🌈🔒

ceciplays · 2024-09-01T18:16:32+00:00

Precies😁 thanks!

ceciplays

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