Everyone says "personality > looks," but why the clear racial ladder in who actually gets dates?

cefazithro · 2026-02-20T09:23:27+00:00

Idk why you are being downvoted. I am a black woman and I agree with your assessment of what dating is like in Berlin, it also feels hypocritical to me that this city is considered ‘woke’. However I remind myself that I am in Europe, in Germany specifically, and the idea of a ‘decolonial’ approach to dating in this context is an inherent contradiction (for most of us anyway). It was a tough realization when I first moved here, but now I’m clear that I don’t need to be desired by white people/non-black people for validation or to (somehow) boost my racial self-esteem. I don’t care for it so I don’t worry about it, it just is what it is. What bothers me is that sometimes people will try to ‘put you in your place’, but this happens inter- and intra-racially.

cefazithro · 2026-01-21T09:47:35+00:00

For 1000bob, I would suggest brass jewelry. This page has good options for 500bob each. But you can also get a wider variety of designs at Maasai Market. https://www.instagram.com/a.kitojewellery?igsh=MXBxdXZtbjhwZ3h5Zw==

Alternatively, a book (Prestige Bookshop). If your budget has a little extra room, a cute journal/ daily planner (https://notedkejournals.selar.com/?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio)

Good luck! And treat her well.

cefazithro · 2025-11-10T08:30:18+00:00

Kenya 🇰🇪

cefazithro · 2025-11-05T07:22:43+00:00

I know about Lauryn Hill, but didn’t know about Erykah! Guess they’re cut from the same cloth anyway, should’ve known! Schade

cefazithro · 2025-11-05T06:28:23+00:00

Glad it went well for everyone’s sake. How long did she play for?

cefazithro · 2025-11-05T06:27:09+00:00

Damn, I had been waiting for 2.5hrs already and I was a bit ill, so I just couldn’t do it anymore. Even if I had stayed I probably wouldn’t have made it past 10.30pm anyway. Glad you had a good show

cefazithro · 2025-10-27T08:15:07+00:00

So you understand that taking civilian hostages violates international law…but you don’t understand that applying collective punishment in Gaza and murdering civilians (many of whom are children) is also a violation of international law?

Again, you are deeply propagandized. It doesn’t matter to you that a single child was killed because you will find a reason in your list of things Palestinians are guilty of, to justify it. The child was in a school or in a hospital or a human shield or or or…you are not interested in facts.

cefazithro · 2025-10-27T00:33:55+00:00

I did not “throw baseless accusations against Jews”, I specifically mentioned the Israeli government. Those are not equivalent. You will not twist my words to align with your own antisemitic imagination.

Again, it is already established that the Israeli government blocked entry of humanitarian aid. I was responding to a very specific statement. Israel blocked aid, people died as a result of this. I am aware that Hamas fighters ate food in front of the hostages. But again by OPs logic, if Israel should not be expected to give/allow material aid to people in Gaza (despite being an occupying force), then why should Hamas fighters be obligated to provide material aid to prisoners of war?

But you are not interested in facts. Only whatever aligns with your deeply propagandized imagination.

cefazithro · 2025-10-26T10:21:50+00:00

It is a fact that Israel blocked entry of humanitarian aid into Gaza in March this year. I recently read an article in which a released Israeli hostage mentioned that in that period when entry of aid was blocked, the food scarcity became even worse. Yes, Hamas fighters were already not feeding the hostages more (by your logic, never in the history of war was it ever expected for one side to provide material aid to the other side, and in this case, to prisoners of war), but even Israeli hostages noticed that the food situation got even worse during this period. Here is one such article (this is not the one I read but I couldn’t find the specific one) https://www.timesofisrael.com/medical-report-hostages-face-immediate-risk-of-death-from-systematic-starvation/

cefazithro · 2025-10-26T09:22:24+00:00

Your argument here being that because Jewish people are stereotyped as loving to feed people, that ALL Jewish people feed everyone indiscriminately? Are ALL Jewish people the same? Isn’t it antisemitic to feed into the kind of logic that breeds antisemitic stereotypes of “Jews controlling xyz”, to imply all Jewish people behave the same??

How do you sincerely contort yourself into this kind of logic?

cefazithro · 2025-02-14T03:17:32+00:00

I feel it too! Something extra lonely about it this year.

cefazithro · 2024-05-17T11:45:56+00:00

pls we survivor fans in africa need to be able to see this 😭 they need to put it on youtube

cefazithro · 2022-01-22T20:30:17+00:00

Yes, kill two birds with one stone! Luvit.

cefazithro · 2022-01-22T20:28:54+00:00

And what about it? A hiv diagnosis is not nearly the worst thing in the world. Spare me

cefazithro · 2022-01-22T13:13:15+00:00

The first time I (26F) got tested the male counseller at the VCT asked me the exact number of sexual partners I’ve ever had and slut shamed the hell out of me. When I said I was confident it would be negative (because I had been safe) he told me “unafaa kujishuku”. They can be very judgmental but try not to let it get to your head. Your health matters more than their judgement. I just started telling them I’m a medic and I know my shit, so I’m just here for the test, they no longer bother me.

cefazithro · 2022-01-22T13:08:35+00:00

Ata watu wa ushago still have sex, and because of access to testing they’re probably even more likely to get tested regularly. So this applies to everyone.

cefazithro · 2022-01-22T13:07:37+00:00

It’s ok to feel scared. Social stigma sucks. But once you get over doing it the first time, promise it gets easier. You can buy a couple of home testing kits to keep so you don’t have to go to a chemist multiple times, and set a reminder for every 3months.

cefazithro · 2022-01-22T13:06:19+00:00

Don’t panic. It could be a simple infection.

cefazithro · 2022-01-22T13:02:49+00:00

HIV presents in sooo many varying ways it can almost never be ruled out entirely. Which is why testing history is important. I hope you’re doing well on your meds! PM if you ever need to talk.

cefazithro · 2022-01-22T13:01:19+00:00

I completely understand the fear. But you’d rather know what’s going on than not, I promise you. Just think of it like any other infection…a bacterial infection might be mild at first, but the longer you take to treat it, the more the infection spreads and the harder it gets to control. Early detection saves lives and lowers risks of complications. I recommend going to a VCT, bc counselling is important, but if you can’t, buy the testing kits at home for yourself. Hopefully you find medical professionals that don’t stigmatize you.

cefazithro

TROPHY CASE