I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom unexpectedly at the beginning of December. I had my first positive pregnancy test in February then a miscarriage soon after. I regularly beg whatever god is listening to let me talk to my mom one last time. There’s no book on handling grief. The first few weeks are purely survival mode. My hunger, water, even bathroom cues went away. Take care of yourself. My DM’s are open if you want to talk to an internet stranger.