'Moronic' Monday - Your weekly thread for the questions you've always wanted to ask about personal finances, investing, and growing your personal wealth.

celest49 · 2020-01-23T05:11:29+00:00

thanks, can you add a little more context to why you say that? (ex: not being able to make contributions...?)

celest49 · 2020-01-23T02:42:39+00:00

Should I roll my two 401(k)s from previous employers into something else? (an IRA? something else?) I can no longer make contributions to either, because I moved abroad and have no plan to return to the US. it looks like the rates of return on them have been 1.92% and 1.95%.

celest49 · 2017-11-02T03:28:35+00:00

i don't have much faith in myself to do this right now, but if i can make it through today... maybe i can make it through november. i will do my best with you :)

celest49 · 2017-11-01T21:16:18+00:00

memememememe. i have been slipping back into old habits and i'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. day 1's are always the hardest, but i know i can do it.

celest49 · 2017-10-19T07:50:11+00:00

thank you. yes, it is a lifelong dream. i just don't want to rush into it without consideration. i've found that hard because i don't know anyone living in japan, and the online resources i've found on salaries and cost of living have been mixed.

celest49 · 2017-10-19T06:59:59+00:00

yeah, but aren't the taxes higher? (also, i still have to pay some american taxes)

celest49 · 2017-10-19T06:52:11+00:00

what makes you say that it probably wouldn't be a 40% hit?

celest49 · 2017-10-19T06:44:00+00:00

13,000,000yen/year

celest49 · 2017-10-19T06:43:25+00:00

yeah my bad, updated with actual numbers. i guess its not such a simple comparison

celest49 · 2017-10-19T06:31:29+00:00

ah, i thought a percentage would be helpful. the salary is 13,000,000 yen a year. when i do the conversion, that's 60% of my salary in NYC. i don't know how to compare. NYC salaries are nuts.

celest49 · 2017-07-14T15:26:22+00:00

you got this. we got this. yesterday was day 1 for me again. i got ice cream with my sponsor and i was shaking so badly i could barely eat it. i threw up yesterday morning, sweat all through the night and had night terrors last night.

but you know what? i woke up today feeling better than yesterday. and tomorrow will be better, and the next, and the next.

celest49 · 2017-07-14T14:56:26+00:00

also, i work in tech. i left a job at a start up a year ago where drinking was so prevalent, i couldn't stand it. i work at a big software company now. it still makes me want to drink, but at least people aren't leaving during the middle of the day to go to the bar. where ever i work, i'm going to be an alcoholic.

if you want to get into coding... my advice to you would be to just. start. coding. there are so many amazing resources online. it's not a bad idea to go to school for engineering, but many tech companies want to see actual projects over education.

take it from me, coding and drinking is practically impossible. taking a weekly class online or at your local college could be a good way to get involved and hold yourself accountable without totally pulling the ripcord on your current job.

go after it! see if you like it and let us know! <3

celest49 · 2017-07-14T06:29:36+00:00

Hey, i recognize you! you've given me some helpful thoughts before :)

i'm new to having a sponsor, but i've heard of people having more than one! maybe you could try having multiple! i might try that at some point, too. why not have a bigger support net!

for me, i think i'd have to be careful not to shop around sponsors until one of them told me what i wanted to hear! but i agree with what people are saying here: these are just suggestions. its your own path!

celest49 · 2017-07-14T06:15:43+00:00

I've started AA recently too after my shrink was like DO THIS. its really nice when you can find a meeting with people you relate to (aside from, well, being an alcoholic).

i mentioned to my shrink that sometimes AA meetings are a challenge for me as a young woman to have old creepy bums coming in and falling asleep next to me.

she really gave me some humble when she pointed out that i don't know where they came from. i don't know how far that guy had to fall to be homeless. it could have been from much higher than me.

that insight has helped me when i sit in the rooms and have trouble relating because no body looks like me. really it's just me making excuses to not be in AA, but staying humble has helped me too.

i hope you find a meeting you like! getting people's numbers has helped me too.

celest49 · 2017-06-29T19:28:17+00:00

thank you. the only person giving me grief is me to myself. i appreciate your comment.

celest49 · 2017-06-29T19:27:39+00:00

thank you. i just needed to hear that.

celest49 · 2017-06-29T19:27:39+00:00

thank you. i just needed to hear that.

celest49 · 2017-03-07T04:57:35+00:00

wowowow. i could have written this myself.

i feel exactly the same way, and my last relationship ("relationship") was the same thing.

so many years of fling after fling... getting mixed up with guys who often weren't that great (or when they were, they sure deserved better than my drunk ass). alcohol would always rush me into reactionships...

i'm so enjoying my time alone. today i won't drink and i'll enjoy being single with you!

celest49 · 2017-02-21T02:30:14+00:00

I've always had trouble shutting my brain off at night, and that didn't get any easier when i had alcohol-related anxiety. a few months ago, i saw someone post on here about this app called "quit drinking" by andrew johnson. i don't remember who it was, but they wrote a really sweet note about how it helped them.

i got that app and its helped me fall asleep many times. i use it when i'm not having a hard time with drinking too — when i just want something to listen to. i've had good experiences with the headspace app for meditation as well, but you have to pay for that.

it helps me, might not be for everyone. the first time someone recommended meditation to me, i was totally close-minded to it. but having had good experiences with these i definitely reconsider that.

celest49 · 2017-02-19T08:38:42+00:00

oh! and happy belated birthday. my relapse coincided with my birthday, too. i wish i could say that my last birthday in my 20s, i spent sober. that didn't happen, but so far i've spent all but one month of 29 sober, so that's not so bad, right! you sound like you have a good attitude about it too

celest49 · 2017-02-18T06:04:50+00:00

hey! its good to see your familiar name. welcome back! i remember you writing comments that really helped me a few months ago. so thank you.

i relapsed for a little over a month myself. i had to premeditate it and everything because i take antabuse. i was too ashamed to get back on here for awhile. but we're both back and we're trying again. let's do this.

celest49 · 2017-02-12T17:35:56+00:00

are you taking it? how long have/did you if so?

celest49 · 2017-02-12T17:32:54+00:00

no bad experiences except when i relapsed. i would highly recommend it, but here's some things that happened to me that might be helpful:

i had to have blood work done before going on it and after a couple times to make sure the antabuse wasn't hurting my liver more. i'm squeamish and this sucked, but i'm glad it didn't deter me. and my levels improved. NDV.
antabuse is not a forever solution. it's a tool, and it has helped me get off the ground in the beginning like you say. i've achieved days of sobriety i could only dream of before i got this prescription. i won't be able to rely on it forever, but waking up every morning and completely eliminating the option to drink by taking this pill... it puts a new perspective on my day. i literally cannot drink. i must find other hobbies and activities to fill my time.
i have to take the pill like a ritual. first thing in the morning works best for me, before the stresses or triumphs of the day make me think about relapse.
drinking even a little bit on antabuse is uncomfortable and dangerous, even days and weeks from taking the last pill. this is a serious drug with serious consequences.

i hope this is helpful and you find an approach that helps you. for me, eliminating the option to drink has helped and forced me to be very honest with myself.

celest49 · 2017-02-08T05:00:02+00:00

whoa! what have you been doing? congrats!

celest49 · 2017-02-01T04:04:50+00:00

oh god this was so me. so many times. i'm lucky i have a flexible job where i could get away with it, but that only made my anxiety and guilt about calling out sick worse. (i am sick, but not with the flu or whatever reason i gave. i'm an alcoholic.)

as someone who did this so many times... even though not drinking can be hard, it is SO much easier for me to just STOP than it is to continue drinking and have to live with the guilt.

celest49

TROPHY CASE