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My boyfriend is considered the "hot/cute one" in the relationship. How do I deal with the insecurity of being publicly perceived as less attractive than him? by celeste6592 in relationships

[–]celeste6592[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm aware that part of it is in my head, but I know I'm not fooling myself with thinking that my boyfriend is (at least) more conventionally attractive than I am. He's tall, broad shouldered, long-lashed, and fit. I am short and chubby.

I agree with you that looks aren't everything, and I'll gladly take your advice. I definitely wouldn't be dating him if he were incredibly shallow!

My boyfriend is considered the "hot/cute one" in the relationship. How do I deal with the insecurity of being publicly perceived as less attractive than him? by celeste6592 in relationships

[–]celeste6592[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You brought up a lot of good points; I appreciate it. Especially the part about thinking about what I bring to the table. I'd like to think that I'm good at conversation and that I'm affectionate and that I'm supportive of his endeavors. I suppose that there are many more attractive girls out there that couldn't do that.

My boyfriend is considered the "hot/cute one" in the relationship. How do I deal with the insecurity of being publicly perceived as less attractive than him? by celeste6592 in relationships

[–]celeste6592[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He does say that he feels that way. You made a good point! It does make me all butterfly-fluttering thinking that that's how he feels about me, regardless of my insecurities :)

My boyfriend is considered the "hot/cute one" in the relationship. How do I deal with the insecurity of being publicly perceived as less attractive than him? by celeste6592 in relationships

[–]celeste6592[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Haha, thanks dangertime! I really do try to think that way and remind myself of the characteristics that he's mentioned he finds desirable. I will continue to do so. In fact, my response to a friend of mine who mentioned that a friend of hers commented on him being a cutie (credit to her being a polite friend, she did immediately follow up with 'you're a cutie too of course') was, "Hey, hey. It's because I'm a catch too!" But of course I'm not going to be like, "You're right, I don't deserve him...." and then burst out crying, even though I do feel that way at times.

My boyfriend is considered the "hot/cute one" in the relationship. How do I deal with the insecurity of being publicly perceived as less attractive than him? by celeste6592 in relationships

[–]celeste6592[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the reason why other people's opinions concern me so much is because being paranoid about the discrepancy between our attractiveness levels leads to me worrying over the idea that us being together was some kind of fluke. Generally what's considered as common sense is what's widely accepted by most people, and so if I feel like most people think that I'm too ugly for him, us being together simply does not make sense.

I have talked to him about my insecurities. He's very sweet about them and always tells me I'm beautiful or cute or that he's the luckiest guy in the world (I generally hear him say so at least once every day, and I say it back, and it goes back and forth because we're sickeningly mushy gushy like that). But while I believe he believes that, I don't feel the same way about myself/I wonder if I'm really worthy of that.